I went to Wal-Mart at 6:04 AM PDT. It’s nice right when they open, because there are very few customers and I don’t like crowds. I locked up my bicycle and on my way to the front door, a speedwalking guy in a black puffy jacket waved at me and said something. He spoke so fast that I couldn’t understand what he said. I thought he might have mistaken me for a Wal-Mart employee, as many people do when I’m wearing my hi-vis vest.
I went into the store, did my shopping, went thru self checkout. I accidentally scanned the bag of cosmic crisp apples twice, and an attendant helped me clear out the duplicate. I paid with my EBT card and the woman said, “have a good day.” I tried to smile and said “thanks.”
She was kind and made eye contact with me, and I felt uncomfortable from the social contact. I felt relieved to get back to my bicycle where there were no people. I tossed the bags in my basket, unlocked, and walked my bicycle across the sidewalk towards the driveway. That’s when I realized something was missing— my Portland Design Works Pathfinder Vertical Cutoff Beam Headlight. My beloved bicycle headlight was gone, and I immediately knew what had happened.
Someone stole it from my bicycle while I was in the store. I saw the speedwalking guy from earlier hastily returning his cart and speedwalking to his car. The prime suspect, yet I had no evidence. I accepted the situation and rode away.
I went through all the stages of grief on my ride home. I denied the situation by not asking people who might have witnessed. Next I was angry, and wished I had caught the perpetrator. I wished I had been in the right to throw some hands. I was angry at PDW for making a light that is so easy to steal. I was angry at myself for not using the quick detach to pocket the light before I went shopping. I was angry that someone who drives a car would steal a safety device from someone who rides a bicycle. Scum of the Earth.
Bargaining. I know what the economy is like right now. Whoever did this probably needed the $10 that they’ll get from pawning it off. I lost my backup torch 3 days ago; the universe is probably telling me that it’s time to quit riding in the dark.
Depression. I’m up to my eyeballs in debt and I can’t just buy another one right now. I overdrafted twice this month, and a replacement cost $39 that I don’t have. They’re probably less fortunate than me and they deserve it more than me.
Acceptance. The headlight is gone, and all I can do is continue living without it. It’s something material, something replaceable. I’ve had great luck in the past 6 years I’ve been cycling to the grocery store and this is the first time anyone has stolen anything from me. Heck, even the days when I was so distracted that I forgot to chain up my bicycle, my bicycle was still there when I finished shopping. I will make more money in the future and I can buy another light. In the meantime I can borrow a light from my dad who probably has an old bicycle light laying around.
The situation sucks but I’m not going to let it get me down.