The other day I learned about New York’s Cornhead Killer and Cheeseball Man. They’re fascinating stories of a niche type of street performance that somehow never made it onto my radar as they were happening. Turns out there’s a whole group of people that dress up in original character superheros and do meetups and that got me thinking. If I could become a superhero and have any power, what would I choose? I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I came up with three things which all revolve around something I think is tremendously cool: The power to remember forgotten history.
- The power to know the lost origin of a useless fact. “What was the name of the guy who first used seashells as money? Or the name of the guy who first jerked it to a sports car?” Me: magically knows the names
- The power to have an implanted knowledge of all the Library of Alexandria’s contents. This would probably be too overpowered, but Imagine the money, prestige, and clout that would be gained from republishing every forgotten book.
- The power to look at any poop and know the exact food that made it. This one is entirely selfish but imagine having a painful gross poop and looking at it and immediately knowing that you’re allergic to xyz food ingredient and never having to experience it again.