Fri Aug 7 2020

I woke up this morning and I packed and shipped an order of 16 booster packs. I brought in $35 and I had to pay $10 for shipping. That’s like a dollar fifty per pack, which is REALLY bad.

My customers have been using a 30% off 3 or more items promotion I have going. I originally intended to end the promotion at the end of July, but I realized that put the end date at year 2021. I didn’t end the promotion because it’s getting me sales that I really need right now.

I’ve raised prices on all my booster pack lots by $3. I should be getting like $7 per pack with how dated and rare they are. The reason my prices were so low is because I wanted to get some sales so I can get that red lettering which entices customers to buy now. “LAST ONE.”

I’m running a business here! I’ve got expenses to pay, and lights to keep on, and a mouth to feed!

M. arrived in Boise, ID last night where he is staying the night. I forgot to wish him a safe ride home yesterday, so I’m doing that now via text.

I regret how I behaved this week while M. was here. I regret not taking better care of myself. I regret not making meals for myself, and instead leaving myself with junk food snacks that didn’t provide me with the energy I needed to get me through the day in a good mood..

I regret saying yes to things that I don’t normally do. I regret repeated days of voluntarily doing unusual things while feeling devoid of energy.

I wish I could have come up with better things to do. Hang out and play cards maybe. I had a deck of cards in my pocket the entire time I was with P. and M…

P. definitely would have said no.

Jackbox games and pizza would have been a wonderful activity.


Well, I have learned a lesson. I should be saying, “no” to the things I don’t want to do. I need to put myself before other people in this kind of situation. I love you buddy and I’m glad you’re here to see me, but there are only a few things that I do that I am willing to do with you.

Boating? no. Let’s go bowling. (oh yeah, covid.)

Beach? no. Let’s watch netflix.

Theme park? No, let’s play Squad.

Go karts? No, let’s play mario kart.

Basically, I fucked up, and I know it’s because of my codependent tendencies. It’s something I’ll probably struggle with forever, but I can manage it if I know enough about myself and how I respond to people.

Yeah okay then.

I want pizza.

Can’t have.

I can’t have nice food for awhile.

It’s belt tightening time.

Sales are down. Sorta kinda. I say that because I don’t have the same amount of electronics and things that have been getting me a good income. I’m down to a barebones inventory and that’s going to cause me some problems in getting the sales volume I need to get through the month.

Basically I can’t be spending $10 on a bag of frozen fruit like I did on Monday. I ate an entire bag of that in one day in the form of smoothies.

I have to think of my food in terms of cost per meal. I need to be spending like $2 a meal, not $10 a meal. If I’m spending $10 per meal, I might as well regularly eat at Taco Bell which I have done in the past.

That’s not going to happen because I’m not made of money. But the point is that a $10 meal is what it cost to eat at a fast-food place. Fast food is not budget food, fast food is expensive.

I need to live within my means right now. I need to be buying base ingredients like potatoes, rice, beans, oatmeal and other grains, spices and oils, raw fruits and vegetables. Then, with the abundance time that I have, I need to be making palatable concoctions to carry me forward.

It’s not always going to be like this. I will be making more money once I grow my business and diversify my income streams. But right now, this is make it or break it mode which calls for depression era style cooking.


idk what to write about anymore. I suppose I could do CoDA or CBT stuff.

I think I’ll take a break from CoDA stuff because I’m getting triggered so often by it.

I’m going to take a break and tune into the Seattle Betsuin Livestream

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