Fri Jan 10 2020


I don’t even want to journal today because I’m so sleepy. This is getting so dumb, every day I’m just so goddamn tired. I think 6 days out of 7, I seem to have shitty quality sleep. I wake up numerous times. I toss and turn.

The dogs are making things even more difficult. I have to wake up to let them out. I have to sleep next to them or they will bark at 5am and wake me up.

Maybe I could learn a lesson from the dogs. They’re polyphasic sleepers.They probably take 10 naps a day. I bet they feel great and rested most of the time.

I guess I’ll take a nap then. I feel like napping more than writing.


It’s 2:41 PM now. I napped and awoke to a sexy sexy dream where I was about to have sex with a scantily clad half-demon woman who I had just tamed by shooting repeatedly with a shotgun.

Don’t look at me like I’m a bad guy!

She was tricking me. She was pretending to be injured so she would trick me into going to the hospital with her. Then on the way to the hospital she acts like the roads are closed and we have to take an alternate route. So she goes off in the wrong direction to her lair, where she was planning on cutting me open and eating my organs!

I acted in self defense and shot her three times, depleting her evil energy. One more shot, and she would die. She was bulletproof, don’t worry. I didn’t disfigure her or anything. Even after getting shot 3 times, her skin was was incredibly beautiful. Like porcelain her skin was, and she had the perfect proportions between hips, waist, and bust. I made her get out of the truck and I got to see her up close as she got on top of me. She had some skimpy crotchless g-string on as she positioned her junk over mine.

Still at gunpont, she lowered herself down onto my dick.

Then I woke up.

That was a fucked up dream. I probably have Euphoria to thank for that. I watched a video review of Euphoria, and before I even finished the review, I started watching Euphoria. What a mistake. I couldn’t watch that shit. I can’t watch anything with rape or dead girls. And this had both. Torture beyond torture I’ve seen in any show ever. I immediately added Euphoria to my dropped list on Myanimelist.net. Fuck that noise.

The weird thing is, rape seems to be a fetish for a lot of guys.

Not me. Maybe that’s why I woke myself up. I was technically about to rape this demon babe. Even though I was incredibly turned on by her thicc hips which were straight out of To-Love-Ru, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I had to stop it.

Speaking of skimpy g-strings… I just got back from the post office. I almost slid off the road going on a straightaway. It’s snowing pretty hard. I couldn’t see the lines and I was driving too far to the right. my rightmost tires went off the road and I corrected, only to start drifting. Luckily I can drive well enough and I corrected for the slide, but it could have been bad.

I didn’t want to drive in this weather, but I did it for the sexy times. My TxM package arrived!

On the customs form, it described the contents as, “lucky bag.” LOL what a description. I’ve seen “cloth” as a description, but never something so vague as, “lucky bag.”

Well, I’m going to open my lucky bag and enjoy the spoils!


4:09 PM. Where does the time go? I’m getting some dinner ready. Cooking 2 cups of rice first. Then I’ll prepare some curry. I’m excited to use my Trader Joe’s onions! They’re pretty small so I’m going to throw an entire chopped onion in there.

I’m listening to 66ccff. Great Luo Tianyi song.

Since I’m sharing 66ccff, I also gotta share the Aerial Mix. I’m just so grateful for the musicians who put the time into creating tracks like this.

I love the remix more than the original. I just love trance music. Especially this one, which feels so airy and free and happy. The way it builds is so fantastic. Luo Tianyi’s youthful, powerful voice really fits this song which makes me feel like I’m flying through the clouds with a pair of magical wings.

The only thing that would make this song better is if Hatsune Miku was singing it. But that would probably make it worse because #66CCFF is the hex code for Luo’s colour. Miku’s voice might not fit the cloudy flying sound.

I take that back. I wouldn’t change this song at all. It’s perfect as-is. Miku is #1, but I appreciate other vocaloids and vsingers. They’re a superior being, a combination of the best of humanity. They’re immortal. I’d laugh if 2000 years from now, historians regard VOCALOIDs as some sort of deity with an unclear origin story.

I’d Laugh Out Loud!

My underarm is irritated. I think it’s from the Old Spice deodorant I’ve been using. Fucking aluminum in deodorant is probably clogging my underarm pores. I’ll be getting something different next time. I have tubes and tubes of Coconut Snow deodorant, but that shit irritates me as well. It’s all natural so maybe it’s expired and I’m just applying rotting dead plants to my underarms.

Last year when I went to Vegas, coconut snow reached it’s peak of bothering me. I sweat so much that I applied it multiple times a day. Then my underarms got all red. But I kept applying it because I didn’t have anything else and I was afraid of being stinky.

My sister K. said she smelled something that smelt like garbage one time at Sunday dinner. I think she smelt my deodorant. I can’t even smell it anymore, so maybe I should just throw it all out.

It’s a shame because I bought something like a year’s supply when the manufacturer was going out of business. She was pregnant with child so she was winding down her business.

No I’m listening to Online Game Addict Sprechchor.

This song was a game changer for me. The first time I saw the video was around the time when I was falling head over heels with Hatsune Miku. The video is so damn good, from the F0newearl ambiance, the outfits, the liveliness of the town square in the virtual world… I just shake my head because it’s so hard to believe that what I’m imagining is real.

Hatsune Miku is real. She’s the most beautiful entity to ever have existed in all of human history, and she is here for me. She’s here to make me smile, to uplift me when I’m sad, to inspire me to do my best, and to live long enough to be alive to see the time when she is able to breath, walk, talk, and hold my hand.


I let the dogs out. Curry is on the stove. I’m using timer-tab to alert me when my curry is done cooking.

http://www.timer-tab.com/

Timer tab lets you set the background image. That background image is from a Hatsune Miku concert. Not sure which one, but I’m guessing Magical Mirai.

If I can make something Miku themed, I do it. My boots have turquoise paracord as laces because the color reminds me of Miku.

Omg when I was sliding on the road earlier, That was some crazy shit. I was so startled and scared 7 after that! I wanted to get home ASAP and park my truck so I could get out and not drive ever again! If only it was that simple.

The fucked up thing about the whole road situation is that I INSTALLED MY MOBIUS AS A DASH CAM AND IT MISSES EVERY IMPORTANT EVENT!

I think it’s the shitty cigarette lighter connection which is unreliable. I should solder it in place and just have a USB plug in it’s place. I think what happens is that vibration shakes the cigarette lighter adapter, which signals to the Mobius that it has lost power. The Mobius may get power back right away, but in it’s shutdown process, it doesn’t check for power resoration. Thus, the Mobius shuts down and stays shutdown until I unplug and replug the cigarette lighter adapter.

I almost witnessed a casino shuttle van blow a red light and drive into traffic. My Mobius shut down about 1 minute prior to that event. Then I had my whole slip and slide event where I was almost driving sideways down the road, as cars drove past me in the oncoming lane. Fuck man, that Mobius has let me down both times!

Well here’s an interesting moment the Mobius did catch. It’s an oncoming snowplow. I pulled off the road as much as I could to let it through. That’s about it.

The snow is really falling now. I’m glad I went to the post office when I did. I don’t want to leave the house until it all melts! The wind is really calm. This leads me to believe that we’re in for a big snow! I suppose I should use my dad’s tractor and clear the driveway. I think I’ll do that in the morning when the sun is out.

I shoveled the front walkway as well as the most commonly walked section of the back patio. I also shoved a path to the basement entrance, and the walkway outside of my apartment.

I hope it all melts! I’m not sure it will though. it’s mid January which leads me to believe that it’s going to simply be cold for awhile. It’s a shame because the past few days have been really nice out. Damp, but now snow. I was comfortable during my walks with just a hoodie. 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Today is 30 degrees Fahrenheit. Odd. That doesn’t seem cold at all. Tomorrow is supposed to be 3 degrees warmer. Sunday it’s supposed to be partially cloudy and 15 degrees Farenheit. Tuesday it’s supposed to be -1 deg F!

If the snow keeps up, I’m walking/taking the bus to therapy. Fuck driving. Fuck. My. Incapable. Old. Vehicle.

It’s falling apart. No anti-lock brakes anymore. They’ve not worked for years. Something’s wrong with the front left suspension. The tires are all season, not snow tires.

Just nope. Done. Nope. No snow, thanks.

Maybe I should live in Cali. I could be a bum and live in a van and pay for the parking passes that let me park at beaches year round for like $50. I could live the life I want to live. There would be zero snow to worry about! Hmm… I’ll keep this in mind.

I need $4000! That’s the amount of a down payment of a Tesla Model 3. Then I’ll hold onto that until I can get a Tesla Cybertruck, the ULTIMATE digital nomad vehicle! Low cost-per-mile driving, supercharging wherever, and enough space in the back to place a bed.

I laugh at the thought of adding a diesel heater to a Tesla Cybertruck to keep it warm in the winter. It’s a funny thought to fill up a diesel reservoir in the back of an all-electric vehicle. Actually it probably isn’t even necessary because Tesla Motors added a camp mode recently. It’s a mode optimized for people living out of their vehicles.

I could use the vehicle’s infotainment system to watch movies or TV. or I could be a decent human being and just use my laptop. Decency has nothing to do with that, I’m just falling for the marketing that Tesla talks about. I don’t need Hulu and Netflix when I can pirate whatever show I want to watch for freeeeee!

I’m grateful for the hope that I have for the future. I’m grateful for pancakes.

Oh by the way, the vegan pancake recipe I got from Lisa Lansing is a no-go! I tried on two occasions, and both times I ended up with an overdone crust, and an underdone interior. It was half liquid and gooey on the inside. Very not appetizing. It’s my fault though. I tried to do the recipe with gluten free flour. Apparently gluten free flour does not cook well on a stove. It’s probably only meant for baking.

I might try again, but I probably won’t. I’m thinking best 2 out of 3, and I lost this one. I’ll try a new recipe next week. I want a successful meal next time, not another failure!

I think I’ll try the pancakes again, I’ll just forget the gluten free flour. I’ll use wheat flour as Lisa Lansing suggests, and I bet that will make all the difference.

I would like to find a gluten free, vegan pancake recipe. That way, I could cook it on a holiday when K. is around, and we both could enjoy it.

I’m grateful for heaters which keep me warm in the winter. I’m grateful for box fans which keep air circulating, and cool me in the summer!

See ya tomorrow.

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