Fri Jan 29 2021

I haven’t written in a few days. I’ve been feeling… not much LOL. I’ve been distracting, I guess. Lots of video consumption. I’ve been trying to take it easy on my hands, because I’m counting the average hours I work every day and it’s between 12 and 16. Not healthy.

Anyway, I want to talk about something that bothered me yesterday regarding nutrition group. The teacher was using fear tactics to get people to want them to wash their fruits and vegetables before eating them. Including bananas!

“Have you ever driven from here to Seattle and seen all the apple farms? Think about the people who work there. A lot of them are migrant workers. Have you ever seen an outhouse? There probably aren’t any. They’re probably going right there in the field and burying it with dirt. They probably aren’t carrying hand sanitizer, either.

Teaching Teacher

What a load of bullshit. I’ve spent 4+ weeks driving the roads in rural Grant county. I’ve been to a shit ton of apple orchards. They have outhouses. A lot of them have portable hand washing stations, too.

This fucking teacher. She tried to scare people to wash their fruit, while simultaneously demonizing the people who pick her food. Fuck that.

I wanted to correct her right when she said it, but I figured that would be rude, and she has been respectful towards me and I didn’t want to sour our relationship. Not that I would want to be friends with this woman or anything… She seems to be a traditional authoritative teacher who is in charge and absolutely correct when it’s class time and there are no ifs, ands, or buts. I don’t want to see how she becomes if I were to challenge her word. Something tells me that she would become the cuntiest of cunts.

There’s a certain way that people can get when they are on the defensive. Especially when it comes to beliefs. They can get in this mindset where their god gives them permission to use every logical fallacy to shame the other person. It becomes a pissing match rather than a debate.

What the fuck am I even talking about?

I talked to my friend C.T. on wednesday. He recommended the movie, Pi to me, which I watched last night. Wow, that’s a great movie!


Through great mathematical trials and mental distress, the main character finds god’s true name. Wall Street and Religion wants it, but he becomes greedy and denies them both. Desperately holding this secret to himself, he is driven mad to the point of suicide. In the end, nobody gets god’s name.

Wow, a real thought provoker. It’s like… God’s name, expressed as a 216 digit number, is too much for the man to handle. It’s too much for anyone, apparently, because his friend and mentor came across the number himself, and died from a stroke because of it. Very great movie.

The story is great, but the cinematography is great as well. There’s a few spinny camera maneuvers in tight spaces which are really impressive. Also the black and white effect was totally unnecessary given the time when the film was produced, but it played really well into the ambiance which was the chaotic and fragile mind of Max.

I can see why C.T. recommended that movie. It’s excellent!

Ok so this morning I want to make a plan for today, otherwise I’ll be on autopilot and I won’t make any progress on my goals.

Today I want to

  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Meditate
  • Bathe
  • Chill with Ironmouse
  • List cards on eBay for 25 minutes
  • List more cards on ebay for 25 minutes
  • Code 25 minutes of SBTP loyalty
  • Code another 25 minutes of SBTP loyalty
  • Eat
  • Socialize
  • Take vitamins
  • Edit 25 minutes on the wiki
  • Do yoga
  • Do yoga
  • Do yoga

Yeah, that’s it. If I can complete every item on this list, that’s a complete and BEAUTIFUL day.

I want to backtrack a bit. I want to consider my thoughts about the teacher who doesn’t realize that there are portapotties in apple orchards in grant county. What is my motive for wanting to speak up and correct her? Do I just want to be right? No! I want to prevent bad information from spreading to the other people in the class. There are outhouses in many, if not all, apple orchards in Grant County! And there are portable hand washing stations, and the people there are not inferior or disgusting savages like the teacher wants to make them out to be. They are hard working and they are more like us than they are different. They might speak a different language, but they are equal to us and they deserve recognition and thanks, not to be demonized and used as ammunition for scare tactics.

To me, the microbiology alone is enough to warrant the need to wash fruit or vegetables. Like… We could take a sample of fruit or veg from the grocery store, test it for dangerous microbiogy, and that would be a good case for washing the food before eating it. I think the human worker aspect is unnecessary.

But no really, I think my teacher watches too much TV or some shit. She’s probably got mean world syndrome.

Ahh, I wish I had dash cam footage of when I drove through apple orchards in grant county. It would be trivial to find footage of portapotties and hand wash stations. I just want to send a clip of that to the teacher and say, “you can’t see much from the freeway!” and just rub it in and be an asshole about it.

The thing is, if I did that, I’d be hiding. I’d be a coward who doesn’t actually want the lessons to be better, I’d just want to be an asshole and satisfy some twisted desire to be the alpha of the pack. That’s not necessary and it’s not altruistic in any way.

If the teacher brings it up again, I’m going to say something. I’m going to do it in a way that is respectful and non-combative. So basically I’m going to make a note to the teacher after the class. “I have an issue I need to bring up with you after the class” is something I could say.

Not that I will. I’ll probably just ignore it and forget about it, or think back on it later and be reminded of how much of a fearful woman that teacher was. She’s so afraid of germs that she demonizes the people who pick her food. She’s so afraid of germs that she will assume that there are no toilets or places to wash hands.

She literally made up the story of people pooping in the fields and covering it with dirt and not washing their hands afterwards. Like, what the fuck?

Ahhhhrrrrgggg what a silly thing for me to be bothered about. Well, I guess this day can be a good day because I have nothing better to worry about!

This is peace, I suppose. There are no local wars going on right now, so I can worry about how a woman who think’s she’s in charge doesn’t know about the numerous portable toilets in Grant county.

There’s probably laws regarding toilets and handwashing stations. I mean, if the farm owners could have it their way, they wouldn’t get toilets or hand-washing stations because that cost money! But that’s not how it is at all. We live in Washington state, which is rather… Strict, for lack of a better word.

Fuck Washington state! I’ve been thinking more and more about moving to north Idaho. I’m thinking of ways that I can make it happen. Basically, money is the thing that I am lacking. I need more money to make my dream of having my own apartment a reality.

Apartment, house, office with a living space, I don’t fucking care. The taxes and the restrictive regulations are too much. I want to use cryptocurrencies and whatever exchange I want to use. I don’t want to just go along with the idea that societal leeches are entitled to the product of my labor… I will live as free as I can.


I’ll just keep thinking about these thoughts. I’ll keep thinking and planning and saving money and growing my money. With enough time and pressure, I’ll figure out a way to get what I want. A nice place to live, relative comfort, financial stability, life/work balance, social activities, unrestricted movements and the dismissal of bullshit laws like Washington’s mask mandate…

Yeah, Idaho is calling my name louder than ever.

Ok I’m wrapping this up for today.

As a reminder to myself, my goals are…

  • Stress level Zero
  • The freedom to be myself
  • Sex


  • Financial independence.
  • A kickass lifestyle, not a job.

And I forgot all of my other goals. They’re in my journal somewhere, but I’m too lazy to look them up right now.

  • launch
  • Card DB
  • Customer rewards
  • Card trading
  • Translate all cards to English

There’s some goals that I wrote out on paper and they’re by my door so I see them every day. Those are my 2021 goals.

51. Alligator energy! I’m saving energy right now, making small, slow, movements, building up to the time when I will make a leap!

20. I am imperfect but I’m still perfectly me.
19. My confidence is beautiful

I’m grateful for my 3D printer and my new ability to simply print out what I need. My printer has been active during the daylight hours all week, cranking out phone mounts which I plan on using for K&E’s wedding. It’s truly a blessing to have this tech!

I’m grateful for Ultimaker Cura, which helps me prepare STL files for printing.

I’m grateful for Octoprint, which I will use as soon as I can, because that’s some kickass software!

I’m grateful for the end of this pomodoro session, which means that it’s time to go do the next thing. Excelsior!

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