Fri Jul 10 2020

I’m totes stressing out right now. I haven’t gone for a walk or rode my bike or anything and it’s 3:30PM. I’m going shooting with B. today at 5. I’m nervous about it and I haven’t done any exercise because I’m saving my energy.

I guess I should go walk. That would probably help me calm down and all that jazz.

I’m out of trash bags. I’ve been impoverished for awhile, but now that I can’t simply deposit my refuse in a lined bin, I feel impoverished.

It’s gonna be okay. All is well.

I’ve seriously been a stress glutton this entire week. I can’t stop stressin’ out on every thing I do.

Do indoors maybe. When I’m outside, I don’t feel the stress.

I think I might modify my pomodoro timer to give myself longer breaks. 25 minute work periods followed by 5 minute breaks might be optimal for a person who has a hard time working, but I have the opposite problem. I have a hard time not working. I have a hard time relaxing. I have a hard time taking care of myself.

I wonder if the weight loss I’ve been experiencing has to do with stress. I wonder if I can no longer tolerate my vegan stew (curry) recipe because my guts are so tense from working on the computer all day.

I think it’s a hot day today. I don’t want to go outside because I know I’m immediately going to start sweating. I don’t want to start sweating because I just took a shower and I’m going to shoot guns in an hour.

I guess my logic doesn’t really add up here. I’m going to an outdoor range and it’s probably going to be hot anyway. It’ll be outdoors so there’s no real reason that I need to smell good.

I’m going to make a list of things that I need to bring.

  • Sun screen
  • Water (lots. I’ll bring the gallon jug I have.)
  • Boonie hat
  • Safety glasses
  • Battery bank flashlight (for the ride home)
  • Hi-vis jacket (for the ride home)
  • Gloves
  • Wet wipes
  • Dinner

I think that’s it. I’m guessing that B. will stop somewhere to get a burger after we’re done. I’m still vegan haha. I’ll just have my dinner for that, which will probably be apples and peanut butter. I suppose I should prepare that now, so I’m not at crunch time and the meal is unprepared.

I haven’t gone shooting in a long time. It’s probably been close to a year since my last trip to the gun range.

LOL, I still haven’t paid off that credit card from the time I spent at the range last year.

I think I need to increase my prices on my eBay store. I made a deal with my favorite customer yesterday because he was short on cash. I sold him an A-Channel starter deck plus 10 Evangelion cards for $20. In return, he promised to pay me $67.40 next week on 15 K-ON cards which he wants to add to his collection. I just had to laugh at the deal he made, but I took the deal regardless. He’s one of my top spending customers so I’m keen on keeping him happy.

Even if he didn’t follow through on paying me extra next time, I still probably made money on the cards I sold. But my point about wanting to raise prices is that I paid almost $6 on shipping that $20 purchase, so I think my margins actually end up being really tiny.

I’m on track to make a profit for the “XB” seald product lot. I’m just worried that my margin is going to be too small. I need a good margin to keep this thing going.

It’s all an experiment. I’ll figure out something that works. Even if SBTP fails completely, as long as I learn from it, I’ll consider it a success.

The past five paragraphs have been so flip-floppy. I am feeling so emotionally vulnerable right now.


I’m going outside in four minutes. Or maybe I’ll prepare food first, then go outside. Just fuck this anxious feeling. FUCK. IT.

Maybe I’ll ride down into town really early. Maybe I’ll buy trash bags before I go shooting, rather than waiting until after shooting.

Nah. I’m going to be loaded down with water, I don’t want to go to the grocery store with a heavy backpack.

Eh. I think I can’t think straight right now. I think I should go ride and then figure out how I am going to tackle the day.

That was fun! We went shooting in Hayden and it was a grand time. I met one of B.’s friends/ co-workers and we ran some drills. One of B.’s rifles wasn’t running and we just had to switch off. I need to get myself a gun so I can participate without having to leech all the time!

Well, I was invited, with my brother knowing about how my financial situation is. So I think I was there because it was fun for him to have more people involved.

Oh, it’s Saturday now. I can’t continue this blog post in good faith!

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