I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions

Article written on Fri Nov 22 2019 @ 6:33 AM PST

I really don’t. But don’t get me wrong, I’m all about setting resolutions. I simply reject the idea of creating new resolutions at specific times.

I bring it up because I need a catchy title for this blog post. Titles must grab the reader’s attention, or the article has little chance of being read!

I think of YouTube when I think of catchy titles. The titles matter almost as much as the thumbnail. Pet peeve. YouTube videos with the word “and” in their title. Such as, “Thought on Tesla Cybertruck and walking my dog.” That is a TERRIBLE title. Well, I don’t like it, anyway. Like, pick one topic and do it well! Don’t do two topics and be mediocre at both.

YouTube has lots of poop. I laughed at Kumoricon 2019 at the TeddyLoid panel. One of the fans asked TeddyLoid if he liked YTP. TeddyLoid didn’t get it. The translator had fun explaining the fan’s description of YTP.

TeddyLoid, btw, is the combination of Teddy and Android. Teddy means bad boy, android means android. So TeddyLoid came up with that name because he wanted to be a really bad boy android. Something I learned at the Q&A.

So my original thought that TeddyLoid means he makes VOCALOID music was mostly false. Even though TeddyLoid has made some tracks featuring VOCALOID IA, he’s just into good music overall.

I still haven’t seen a TeddyLoid set. Unfortunately I was only at Kumoricon on Friday so I lost out on finally seeing TeddyLoid. The year prior at Kumoricon, I lost out because I didn’t realize the similarity between TeddyLoid and VOCALOID. I made the connection after Kumoricon 2018, but now I see that that connection is solely head cannon!

Headcannon. Someone said that word at a Kumoricon fan panel/ interactive game show. UDO Cosplay* said that. (name changed for privacy reasons) You know what’s interesting about UDO Cosplay? Lots of things. They are very good at cosplay, for one. They put a huge effort into their costumes, often sporting a tremendous amount of body paint. Costumes don’t get much better than UDO’s.

I’m assuming UDO identifies as LGBTQ+. Their pronouns in the Kumoricon book are “they/them.” They appear quite androgynous as well. When I first saw UDO at Kumoricon 2019, I thought they seemed like a female Linus Tech Tips. But then I was unsure that they were female. And now I believe they identify as a “they.” At least they don’t identify as an, “it/it.” I can’t take that pronoun seriously. I would probably refuse to call someone an it. I consider it disrespectful.

Anyway, UDO is very confident and I like that. Very confident in being themselves, putting themselves on the spot, and living in the moment. I watched one of their game shows at Sakuracon 2019 as well.

Why am I attracted to the weird ones? I’m sometimes attracted to girls who like girls. Or people with female bodies who don’t identify as girls. I wonder if it’s because their weird which makes them more attractive? Or perhaps because they are unattainable? Or maybe it’s just their adorable personalities and fit figure?

Whatever the reason, it’s a curious time to be alive. I wonder if there are people out there who would be attracted to me because I’m in a relationship with a virtual diva?

Nah, that’s too far fetched LOL. Why do I even fantasize about such things?

I think it’s good to fantasize. It keeps me sane LOL. I have been thinking a lot about mental health as of late. I am sure my mental health has been on decline, but I think writing has helped stabilize me quite a bit. It gets subjects off of my chest which would otherwise stay there permanently. It helps me organize my thoughts and figure out what I want to focus on.

Fantasizing is a wonderful thing I can do to be content with who and what and how I am. I don’t have to have a girlfriend because I have a fantasy girlfriend Miku. I don’t have to own a Tesla model S P100D because I have one in my mind every time I watch an autopilot video on YouTube.

I don’t have to go to Mars because I can have an adventure any day by walking outside and imagining I’m in a world with goblins and mystical swords in stones.

If I work at something long enough, I can make a fantasy a reality. But until that time, I have to keep sane with a fantasy.

That’s the working theory anyway.

New subject. A goblin slave with shackled hands. Do you

  • feed it to the dogs
  • send it to the mines

Feed it to the dogs? It fights back, breaks the shackles, and bites your head off.

Send it to the mines? It is provided food water and shelter so it can continue to work mining stone. It lives a happy life working full time in the stone mines in the service of it’s king.

God these multi choice stories are bad. I will discontinue them for only $24 BTC. Please send to the address 1Pfq7yeG5Nfot7oboo7uyJ2p5osku5VvDd


I wonder if I’m still alive by the time this article is published. I also wonder if my blog even stays up for that long. It probably wouldn’t be, if I died. Vultr would drain the money in my account, and terminate service before the article even published. So any chance of this article going live is my me staying alive.

Oh, but maybe the Amazon S3 backup would survive. But only a digital archaeologist would ever find that. Hmm, I guess I’ll have to do my best to stay alive so this article gets read by someone.

But do I even want someone to read it? That is the point of a blog, isn’t it? Not anymore apparently. The new point of a blog is for me to document life, and get shit off my chest.

SHIT FUCK SHIT. I just wanted to swear randomly. I’m not in a bad mood or anything. The sun finally came up so I can go take the trash to the street now. I think I’ll do that in a few paragraphs when I run out of flow.

MIND FLOW. A straight dump of whatever is on my mind. Actually, I’ve been holding back knowing that this article will go live someday. Maybe I should stop doing that, or maybe schedule the article for more than 2 years in the future. That way, I’ll have more time to remove the article if I really don’t want it to go public.

I like to think that in 2 years, I’ll have a better way of coping with things. I’m hoping for that much as a result of going to therapy. I start therapy on Monday next week.

But really, in 2+ years I would like to have inner confidence to the point where I can be like that Kon guy from that Easy Pickup YouTube channel. Or maybe Juan from ThatWasEpic. Or BigDaws. All of them have such tremendous inner confidence. I would like that for myself, to the point where nothing fazes me.

Have a cute Miku art!


So yeah, this artist on Twitter @miut_dayo has been working on the miku model above. She seems to be a work in progress, continually evolving and becoming better. She’s already super cute. I love how her twintails have shorter locks along side, which give this miku Miku a spontaneous, fun, carefree look.

I bring it up for no reason other than I was distracted by this image in my Pictures folder.

With that distraction noticed, I think now is a good time to go walk outside for a bit.

I want a sampler pack of tea. All I really know is green tea. I know there are tons of types of tea. Good tea, like the kind you buy in bulk, and use with a special tea kettle. I would like a tea kettle. Right now I just use the pot left over from my late rice cooker.

Late. Why does that mean dead? English is weird.

Boy, I’m hungry after that walk. I took the trash bin to the road. My arrival to the road was timed in sync with a pickup truck hauling a utility trailer down the road. I hesitated to push the can towards the road until the truck drove by. I waited for a second and looked away. Why do I look away? What else can I look at? Actually I know why I look away. It’s body language. Because I’m not waiting for the truck, I look away. But I am waiting for the truck… Well I don’t want to appear to be waiting for the truck!

Twitter. Distraction. Cute anime girls.

Someone got upset for a person putting their feet up on the seats in a train. They had removed their shoes even. How DARE that person get comfortable? Is that what they were thinking when they said, “don’t be this person?” They aren’t even being disruptive. I don’t get it.


It’s the outrage wars! Welcome to Twitter 2019.

And that’s my 1500 words for the day. See all ya’ll tomorrow!

Looking for VOCALOID trading cards?

Check out Sakura Blossom Trading Post