Mon Dec 7 2020

7:56AM. I didn’t write yesterday. I don’t think I did on Saturday either, but I can’t remember for sure. Too lazy to check to see if I did or not on Saturday.

I got my bike back! I picked it up on Saturday. I took a good several hours to get everything ready for that trek.

I walked with rollerblades in my larger backpack down to Seabiscuit. I didn’t want to rollerblade on 32nd/Saltese because fuck that dangerous county road.

I put on my rollerblades at Seabiscuit at apparently the neighborhood hotspot. There were about a dozen people coming and going from the trail area right at the big sign… Something terrace? I forget the name.

BRB taking outgoing shipments to the mailbox

I just got back from the grocery store. I bought bananas! They had been on my list for sooo long and I kept skipping them because I would get to either my cargo weight or cargo size limit before I would get to the produce section.

Today I went to produce first, because I was really jonesin’ for some ‘nanas!

I also got some raspberry pomegranate herbal tea, plain instant oatmeal, dried apricots, chia seeds, and coconut milk. I think I might be forgetting something, but it was just a small haul. I spent about $25 of the government’s money.

Starship SN8 launch is not happening today. It’s good timing because I have a lot of other stuff going on today. I had therapy this morning, the grocery store, and later on Ironmouse and Projekt Melody are going to stream.

Ironmouse is going to reveal her Christmas outfit! HYPE!

Projekt Melody is going to fap in front of her audience. Sexciting!

I’m jumping back into my regular routine. I have a bunch of shit already checked off today, and it’s a wonderful feeling to be ahead.

I meditated before I went to the grocery store. I was rather upset by the quality of the Seattle Betsuin livestream today. My laptop speakers were MAXED out and I could not hear Sensei’s chanting voice over my own.

Poor audio quality in videos is a real pet peeve of mine. Poor audio quality absolutely ruins a video.

This is just something I have to deal with, and accept. Everybody isn’t as attentive to audio as I am.

I think about the distance audio has to travel between the speaker’s voice and the microphone. Then I add that to the distance audio has to travel between the speakers and the listener’s ears. I think that total distance should be as low as possible.

SMS from my phone provider. My bill of $55 is due in 2 days. I can pay it, but I don’t have enough for that and rent. I have to make more money soon or this whole entrepreneur experiment is going to fall apart.

I have a plan. My plan is to double down, increase my productivity, and increase my service offerings.

The other day I was playing Stormworks with my brother B. I showed him a preview of an in-game project I’m working on, to control a massive salvo of flare launchers with MIDI. He told me, “You’re using your power for evil.”

I think he said that because of how likely 1000+ flares are to crash the game. I think his idea of Stormworks is that players should build cool things like trucks and boats and planes and SCUD missile launchers. My idea of Stormworks is a little different. I want to see what I can do with the game’s technology, and bring external data to the game, adding features and impressing people with my innovations.

I’ve been thinking about what he said. “You’re using your power for evil.” I got a kick out of it in the moment, but I think there’s more to that sentiment.

I was told by my brother that I have power. As in, a superpower– a power that not everybody has. I’m so focused on my goals in life that sometimes I don’t even remember this. I truly do have an uncommon power, and I can do all sorts of things with that power.

I could spend my time in Stormworks with the intention of making a cool LUA script which results in a hit video. I could code a website to sell trading cards and bypass the fee-ridden marketplace that is eBay. I could work for a company and build some bullshit product that another company will use so they can be more efficient at building bullshit.

Or I could be a gangster cowboy rockstar unicorn.

I don’t know what kind of point I’m trying to make. I think I don’t really have one. I think I was just writing shit that sounds cool.

I remember the point I was trying to make. Aliens.

just kidding.

I’m going to put more effort towards monetizing my code.

I’m doing really good as far as sticking to my sbtp-loyalty daily code schedule. I’m on a 3 day streak, and I intend to continue that streak.

Also… I’m making a game. Or rather, I’m learning Colyseus by making a game. It’s got a lot of similarity to so that’s a bonus.

My plan is to make a tank game like Scorched Earth, but it’ll be 3D, and played solely via I can add a webclient later, or I can release on Steam or something. But to get started, players will follow on-screen prompts and launch their vollies with text commands like

!fire 136 45 136

The syntax is !fire <azimuth> <elevation> <power> and it’s SUBJECT TO CHANGE!

I’m learning haxe language to code the game, and using heaps game engine. Its the same game engine used in Northgard! I’m super stoked to learn more about it, and get a simple game built.

SN8 tomorrow! At 4AM, LOL! I guess I’m getting up early!

I’ll probably be watching the SpaceX live stream, and the NASA Spaceflight live stream. NASASpaceflight has a robotic camera on the roof of a building 6 miles away with an impressive zoom, and familiar people who always provide insightful commentary.

OMG this is so HYPE. Let’s hope for a launch, not a scrub! And if there is a scrub, let’s have a scrub, not a RUD!

But really, we’ve had so many delays on the SN8 launch… Let’s see that baby FLYYYYYY!





I’m sleepy. I didn’t have caffeine today. I’m thinking of easing off on the Earl Grey tea because I don’t want to get dependent on caffeine to feel good. I bought some herbal tea today (Strawberry & Pomegranite, not Raspberry & Pomegranite as I mentioned earlier) which I drank instead of Earl Grey. It was tasty.

So yeah, maybe more herbal tea, and I’ll save the caffeine for social situations where a boost is much appreciated.

I heard that caffeine stays in the human body for about 7 days. That’s news to me! I am a caffeine nub, though.

Notes from Therapy


  • Wednesdays 1-2:30 PM GAME ON via Zoom
  • December 18th 3-5PM — Holiday group painting via Zoom
  • CoDA Tuesday 6PM
  • CoDA Saturday 10AM

Do CoDA groups without sharing. Fear of sharing is no longer a valid excuse because sharing is always optional

Detective work

When I find myself making excuses, Journal it. Do the detective work to find the hot thought.


  • Write about CoDA 30q steps 1-3. Make it personal, and adapt the steps to my unique life.
  • Come up with a gameplan for CoDA recovery patterns as listed in
  • Identify recovery patterns I want to work on.
  • Reach out to siblings. Call a brother or sister. A potential talking point could be to figure out what an unfamiliar person wants for Christmas, so I can figure out what to make them a sticker of.

Affy & Gratty

19. I can self-affirm. I’m doing it right now!

87. I am okay. I am breathing. I am alive.
86. I am capable of bringing my dreams to live.
85. There is more to life than this moment; I choose to keep moving forward.

I’m grateful for my bike. I missed it and I was sad when it was in the shop and I had to walk home. I’m grateful to have it back and tuned up and ready to help me get where I need to go.

I’m grateful for the nice people I met the other day when I was walking and putting on my rollerblades. Lots of smiles and greetings.

I’m grateful for… My CNC cutting machine! It’s helped me make all sorts of stickers and cards and organizers and things. I think I am just at the beginning of seeing it’s capabilities and I’m so pleased and #blessed to have this machine to work with.

Excelsior! Opportunity! Love is a verb!

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