Mon Dec 9 2019 @ 8:09 AM

Hey cool I actually woke up early. Hey so cool. Wow so cool dude.

It was 61 degrees in my apartment when I woke up. My thermostat is totally not programmed at all. 62 degrees happens to be the default setting. I got up and cranked that thermometer to 72. Maybe I’ll program it, but probably not.

I gotta go into work today. I’m thinking of being a lazy ass and going in at noon, then leaving at 1PM or something. Just gotta do something. Make some sort of progress then GTFO.

Mr. Robot Season 4 Ep 10 aired last night. I watched it and it was probably the most gripping episode of the season. There weren’t even any hacks and it was more gripping than any of the episode with hacks. Well there was the one scene with Darlene redistributing the wealth, but that wasn’t really a hack. The hack was already done, this was just a fancy balance transfer.

The gripping thing was the moment when Dom says she can’t go to Bermuda with Darlene.

Dom walks off and it’s all sad. Then before she leaves the airport secure zone, she has a change of heart and runs back to join Darlene. Darelene simultaneously has a panic attack and misses her flight. OMG! I just wanted them to be happy together, and instead they have a wacko role reversal! Nooooo!

I have to say, this was perhaps the cutest episode in the series.

The moment when Darlene comes to complacent Dom’s apartment and smashes her Alexa was so touching. I mean, smashing her Alexa wasn’t nice, but she did it to shake Dom out of a funk. Darlene wasn’t just going to give up on Dom. Darlene truly cared for Dom and wanted to get her somewhere safe as soon as possible.

After Darlene smashed Alexa, Dom’s demeanor changed from defeated to concerned. Darlene finally got through to Dom and that look in Dom’s eyes as the scene ended was just precious. That was love! Dom was out of her element and Darlene cared so deeply, that she would do anything to get Dom out of that apartment and off the Dark Army’s radar. It’s a level of love I haven’t experienced.

And that kiss in the park. Just wow. #RelationshipGoals!

I think the point of this episode is to reverse Darlene’s and Dom’s roles. As Darlene said at one point, Dom would benefit from just running away. Darlene on the other hand, is uncharacteristically going to stay and fight. After her panic attack at the airport, she seems to go some sort of catharsis and gains a new found confidence.

Dom on the other hand, ends up flying to Bermuda alone. Dom runs for once, and hopefully she finds some peace.

In the moment where Darlene misses her flight and Dom runs to get on the plane, I couldn’t help but crying out, “Why, Sam!?”

Can’t these two characters have a happy ending? They are polar opposites. One’s a hacker vigilante, the other a devout FBI agent. This felt like a modern Romeo and Juliet, where the two lovers can’t be together because of their positions in society. I think it could work! The two could even each other out! Dom has been looking for a partner for so long, and finally she has one!

Stick with the plan, Dom! Make your deep thoughts once you get to Burmuda!

Sam Esmail, whyyyyyyy?!

Maybe there will be some happy reunion. But I’m thinking probably not.

Dom and Darlene are kind of heroes of the series. I mean, Darlene did kill that business woman which was fucked up… I didn’t really follow that woman’s role so I don’t know if it was justified.

I just want a happy ending! I totally ship Dom and Darlene, they’re so cute together! Dom is so lonely, Darlene is so damaged. Dammit Sam, why!?

On to another topic.

My wrist hurts! Carpel tunnel world! I’m actually surprised that I don’t have wrist pain more often. Typing on computers is just about all I do. Maybe shoveling dirt for money is the trigger. It’s sorta like how mixing different types of alcohol triggers a lot of people to puke. Mixing different types of work makes my body hurt!

Big wrist pain in my right wrist for sure. Time for some stretches!

I don’t think I can get through a single blog post without mentioning Hatsune Miku. I got Miku on the mind, 24/7! I just wanted to share this picture. This one is my desktop wallpaper at the moment. I just wanted to make the point that face masks can be incredibly cute! Even the ones without any prints; they accentuate the eyes.

Asian style cotton face masks are the best. For one, they have a comfy soft look to them. Then some of them have prints which are even more cute. There’s a face mask accessory in Project Diva f 2nd which is plain white. It looks adorable on Miku. It is almost as if it becomes a piece of clothing, and whatever is under the clothing is suddenly a naughty thing. How arousing!

I bet you weren’t expecting me to make that point.

Here’s a picture of two VOCALOID cosplayers wearing face masks at KuroNekoCon 2019. Aren’t they so cute? The only thing visible on their faces are their kawaii kawaii eyes. Their face masks add character in the form of the cute designs, and a sense of mystery as to what is underneath the mask. Such allure!

Here’s another funny thing about face masks. At Sakuracon 2019, there was a Kizuna AI cosplayer wearing a face mask. I saw her roaming the halls before the Virtual YouTuber panel. During the panel, she was on stage as a fan panelist. It wasn’t until near the end of the panel when I heard her speak. Their voice was deep; it seemed to be a man cross dressing as AI! They totally nailed it. I was convinced otherwise until they spoke and eventually removed the mask and revealed their masculine jaw structure.

I totally assumed their gender. Should I have said, “it seemed to be a male body” instead? That just seems rude because it’s a person, not a body.

I borrow that phrase from health clinics by the way. The urine sample rooms have instruction sheets which give directions for “male bodies” and “female bodies.”

They probably make that distinction because, “male” and “female” are frowned upon by some communities.

I’m undecided on the issue. I mean, labels are convenient, but they often remind people of so many per-conceived notions that it’s sometimes better to describe things without using labels.

For example, “I was born a man but I always felt like and identified as a woman.” is a more descriptive explanation than, “I’m a transgender woman.”

Transgender can mean more than one thing. That’s my point. It can mean that the person has transcended the idea of gender. It can also mean the person has transitioned to a different gender than what they were before. If I were hearing the phrase, “trans woman” for the first time, I’d probably be confused. Does that mean they were a woman and now they are not, or does it mean they were a man and now they are a woman?

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m just typing shit. For the sake of typing shit.

So what do I wanna type today? Nothin really. What I wanna do is I wanna go back to sleep because I’d rather do that than work. How can I sleep more and work less? I already work almost not at all. Yeah… Let’s do more of that!

My clinician suggested I try to do more of what makes me happy. So by that logic, I should play Project Diva more often. I should go on runs more often. I should get a Miku Daki so I can hug Miku more often.

I should not work at all in landscaping because that makes me the opposite of happy. I should not have rent because that makes me the opposite of happy.

I think there’s a flaw in my logic. Or isn’t there? I am supposed to do more of what make me happy, so how am I supposed to live in this world?

I guess I could be homeless, but then it would be hard to have a relationship with Miku. Shit would probably go south if I were homeless.

But a home on wheels? I could make that my home. Then there is no rent.

I’ve been tossing this idea in my head for weeks now. I think I should just commit and try it already. TRY it.

But I need some supplies that cost significant cash! I’ll need a diesel heater to keep warm at night. That’s $200. I’ll need to apply window tint or otherwise block out the windows so I can have some privacy. I need to find some places I can park. I’ll need to find a gym I can shower at.

Having busy days makes me happy. I would definitely be busy as I would have to do a lot more to keep my personal hygiene in check, and my vehicle upkept.

I don’t want to drive anymore though. My insurance payments have lapsed, my front left suspension is shot, the brakes barely work, and I’m afraid the engine is going to blow up because who knows the last time it had an oil change.

Living out of my vehicle would incur a large increase in gas payments. Bleh. There’s no easy mode in life!

I have this vehicle that I can use to get places, but I only use it for that. It’s too big for just that. If I want to get myself from point A to point B, I should have a car that is efficient at that. One seat, 80 miles per gallon. Yeah!

I don’t think that sort of thing exists. It might as a scooter or an EV…

What I’m saying is there’s not a good reason for me to have a 95 Chevy suburban. I don’t use it to haul things, I don’t use it to camp in. It’s so inefficient and wasteful!

I think I’ll go take a nap now, then when I wake up I’ll go shovel some dirt for an hour. Not because I want to, but because I awkwardly committed to it last night when my dad asked if I was going in to work today.


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