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Mon Feb 17 2020

Last updated on February 17, 2020

I didn’t write enough yesterday. I only got like 140 words down. I had to partially refund someone on eBay for an old phone I sent them which had a bad batter. I probably still made a profit because I got the phone for free from my mom. I woke up at 1:20 today when I received a spam phone call. I’m just stating all the facts on this day, woot woot.

xtoast.com is expiring in less than a month. I should probably let it go since I’m not using it for anything. If I do keep a domain, that’s the one to keep because it’s short and sweet. I let other of my classic domains go, like extremetoaster.com. I will probably renew it before it expires because it’s got such a generic name that I could use it for anything.

I am reminded of my old friend K. who borrowed the Extremetoaster name from me and made it his own. I think it was the name of his YouTube channel, and he was really passionate about making Minecraft adventure videos with it. Man, we had some good times playing Minecraft maps back in the day. We had a group that would play. K. would send me a map, and I’d load it onto my server. I was usually pretty slow at doing so, since I was still a newbie with Linux command line interfaces.

I would usually be struggling to copy files into the correct folders or extract the map properly, and everyone in Teamspeak would be getting impatient. Finally I’d get the map loaded and the server restarted, then everyone would jump in and we’d all start exploring the map.

K. would choose these really interesting maps where breaking any blocks was prohibited. We would have to escape from an area or complete some other challenge in order to win the game. Often the challenges were multi faceted. Kill some monsters, collect n keys, open n doors.

I don’t really have a gaming group like that anymore. I could go weeks without playing video games.

I’m trying to change that. I play with my brother B. maybe once a week now. He’s been so overloaded with work that he hasn’t been playing though. I question whether he should be playing at all since he seems to have a real problem with video games. Last night we played and we lost 4 rounds in a row. I had a great time. We had some real highlights such as piloting an M1 Abrams tank with B. at the gun. We suppressed infantry, evaded RPG fire, and outmaneuvered and took down an enemy T-72. It was all due to our great communication and teamwork that we accomplished this.

Other good moments included assaulting flags with a full infantry squad. I was squad leading and I think I did pretty well organizing our squad and accomplishing objectives.

I don’t think B. lives in the moment. I think he has to win for his time spent playing to count. I used to see this with people who have played a lot of League of Legends. Time spent playing doesn’t matter. Wins matter.

At the end of our 4th round, I didn’t even realize the past 3 had been losses. I was just content to have played with my brother and S.

Oh yeah, S. is fun to play with. He’s really good and he’s a chill guy. So if I were to get together a group to play with, I would like to have S. in it.

I just need to get over my social anxiety. If it’s S. and I alone, I feel awkward. I feel scared and anxious and I clam up.

It’s just my social anxiety. It’s something I can overcome.

Yesterday after Sangha service, I took things slow and I took part in Oshoko, an offering of incense to show gratitude for the Dharma. I got up from the pews too quickly, to the point that there was a really long line. Next time I’m going to sit and meditate until the line thins out.

I went to the basement as well, and now I know where the bathrooms are! There are a pair upstairs as well as downstairs.

So the basement has a bunch of tables set up in a dining area just outside the large kitchen. There were coffee, tea, mandarin oranges, banana bread, and brownies.

I just had coffee, as I’m convinced there are animal products in the bread and brownies. Oranges would just require that I wash my hands, so I didn’t go for those.

Anyway, I talked to R. and M. and K. K. has the same name as me, just spelled with a K. The first time I went to Sangha service, K. was in front of me and Minister O. said, “hi K!” as we walked in. I was confused at first, and wondered how M. knew my name, but I didn’t answer because I figured the person in front of me had the same name. And how I know she does!

LOL pretty funny.

So one thing I’ll have to get used to is that most people in Sangha service believe that they are going to be reincarnated when they die. I don’t know if I believe that. Rather, if my spiritual trip on psilocybin has any truth to it, reincarnation makes complete sense, but I’m just not sure that the idea of Chris’s consciousness will continue on. What I think would happen is Chris would die and be permanently dead. The consciousness of Chris would re-join the universal consciousness, the one mind, and then form a new person….

Well I think what I’m saying is already incorrect, since I’m implying that my consciousness is separate from the universal consciousness. It’s not separate, it’s the same consciousness. So I don’t really know how a partition of consciousness is a valid explanation. I guess there has to be some sort of partitioning because it’s not like I know the thoughts of other people. So in some way, the one mind has separated it’s own consciousness to keep itself content and entertained.

Living as billions or trillions of people who can interact with each other is a better way to live than all alone for eons…

So then reincarnation… Chris won’t live again, but someone else will. And it’s not like the identity transfers. There is no transfer whatsoever, it’s simply a new identity.

I wouldn’t call it reincarnation. The next identity spawned by the one mind isn’t going to pay homage to Chris in any way. Chris ran his course and he was meaningful and he was alive and it was a journey, but Chris will lay to rest and become just a memory.

Death is GOOD. That’s what I learned. To be immortal is BAD. Reincarnation then, is not a thing, in the sense that Chris can continue. Reincarnation is simply a byproduct of the one mind’s immortality.

I’m going to do some reading now.


I learned that Buddhism is all about looking closely at one’s own mind.

Now I’m going to go train outside.


I ran a lot and did pushups. I did 22 laps and felt like continuing, but forced myself to bring it in and eat. Gonna go eat now!


I did an experiment today. Steamed potatoes, and steamed tofu. It’s a great success! Both ended up with a wonderful flavor and texture. I’m really surprised! I did rice in the bottom of my instant pot, with potatos, pinto beans, corn, and tofu on the top. The tofu didn’t get crumbled up like it does when I cook it in curry. the potatoes are soft and again, I’m really surprised!

I’m watching Tim Dodd (Everyday Astronaut) and his pre-recorded coverage of Starlink-4 (5th launch technically, but the first one was just a test.) The mission was at 6 in the morning this morning, when I was asleep. I already watched Scott Manley’s youtube video on the subject. Apparently the booster missed the barge and did a soft landing in the water. Regardless, the mission was a success, and 60 more satellites were deployed to low earth orbit!

Tim Dodd puts out videos/streams for like intermediate space fans. Beginner fans probably watch SpaceX’s livestreams. Advanced fans watch the SpaceX mission control audio streams LOL.

I prefer Tim’s streams because they’re always different. SpaceX streams are so scripted and so similar so they’re not very interesting anymore.

Tim is often seen running around fixing technical glitches, he’s got pretty good footage and he’s just a really interesting guy.

Dang, he’s got a nice camera. 4K Cinema Z-Cam. It’s the first I’ve heard of this company. I was thinking it was a RED camera at first. I take it back, Tim has very good footage, not pretty good footage.

Z-Cam E2 camera is $2,000. That beats RED cameras in terms of affordability!

Holy shit, just look at that shot Tim has on his stream with a TELESCOPIC camera. That is such an amazing shot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kadtzZaWDNE

Tim mentioned that his camera is 6K, not 4K! It’s a Z-Cam P6, not an E2 as I had suspected.

What’s the difference between a ton and a metric ton? It’s complicated so I’ll just link here– http://vspages.com/ton-vs-metric-ton-6068/

Metric ton is equal to 1000 kilograms. Ton used in the United States equals to 2,000 pounds.

Ok then.

This type of shot is NEVER on SpaceX live streams. This is part of what makes Tim’s streams so damn interesting!

Ryan lost the Falcon! He was operating the telescopic camera and the Falcon went out of frame. And now the rocket is just a tiny dot. With my shitty internet, all I see is sky.

Ok then, that was a good stream. Thanks Tim Dodd for the stream! Oh they might have got a shot of the splashdown, I guess I gotta standby!

Nevermind, the cloud in the thumbnail I saw when I looked ahead was just the cloud from the launch.

Ok then, on to the next thing! I’m going to read some Japanese, then Prometheus Rising, then CoDA. Then I’m going to either list cards on eBay or work on my P-memories website scraper script.

I call it Pirate-Memories, LOL! I thought of that when I was training and I got quite the kick out of it. My goal for scraping the site is so I can create an Encore Decks clone but for Precious Memories. I think there is not a good resource for finding English translations of P-memories card, so I’m just going to go ahead and make one myself!

And of course, I have commercial interest for this project. Most of my projects should be of commerical interest at this point. Enjoyable commercial endeavors, so I may live a happy life and be able to support myself!

Ok so the commerical interest is subtle. I want to make P-Memories more popular in the USA, so I can drive more P-Memories card sales on my eBay store!

Ok then, I’m just finishing up my meal and Tim Dodd’s stream. Press was getting kicked out of the area LOL.

Ok then. Back to work. Happy President’s day!

Oh, I have a funny story before I wrap up this post.

Humanix employment agency called me today, just before I went outside to train. They asked me what kind of job I’m looking for. I said computer related, either software dev or IT support. They said they don’t get many of that kind of job listings, but that I should keep an eye out on their website. They also asked me if there was some other kind of work I’d be interested in.

I told them I would be willing to do manufacturing or assembly type work, at least for a short time. They said they had more of that kind of job and they described some of the positions. They all sounded terrible to me. They asked what my wage requirement was. I thought for a second and I decided I would value myself and my time, so I said, $15 an hour.

Their tone seemed to change and they told me that I could keep an eye out on their website for more jobs that interested me. I can call back in the future if I see a listing that sounds good, and make an appointment to see an account manager.

LOL, I said I required more than they were offering ($13 to $14) and so they wrapped up the call. Hilarious. I remember the first time I worked through Humanix I told them I wanted $10 an hour, and they seemed surprised and hooked me up with a job that paid I think $12.50 an hour. Nowadays I don’t want that kind of job, and it’s not a good use of my skills, so the only way I’m going to work at a job like that is if I can get a good amount of money every day.

If I recall correctly, living wage is $15 an hour. The funny thing is that minimum wage is less than living wage LOL. Slavery wage?

I’m going to try and get food stamps. I’d like to figure out a way to work for myself to where I can make decent money and do what I love. Food stamps would help me draw out this period of poverty… IDK if I am even eligible because I have $1K in stocks and I live with my parents, but I’m going to find out this week when I have a phone interview.

I’m grateful for my instant pot. I’m grateful that potatoes and tofu cook wonderfully well when steamed in said instant pot! Thanks to K. for gifting it to me on Christmas!

I’m grateful for Tim Todd, who keeps space interesting and fun.

I’m grateful for books. Next time the power goes out, I know that I won’t be bored because I can read unlimited books without the need for electricity or the internet!

86. I am capable of bringing my dreams to life.
88. I am capable of achieving great things.
93. I can show kindness to others.

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