Mon Jun 22 2020

female, diary, journal

I forgot to write yesterday. Or rather, I spent very little time on the computer. I did laundry and chilled with my family.

I had a Zoom call with my therapist this morning. We talked about what I felt last week during the time when I tried to sell my Suburban.

Apparently I have made progress in how I handled that shameful situation. I handled that situation by coming up with a solution and dealing with the problem. I didn’t let the problem become a thing that consumed me for a week.

I was mindful enough to realize that this CL selling thing was not for me, not something I’m good at or want. I found a way to live the life I want to live.

There was a small success in the ordeal.

I’m so tired. I woke at 7:30 and checked eBay. No orders came in since last night, so I went back to bed until 8:30. Shortest hour ever, but it felt so incredibly good to get that extra sleep.

I had a dream where I was in my childhood home. A weird kid came over and started modding my Nintendo 64 to run homebrew software. We played a Mario Kart ripoff which was incredibly feature rich and had quality graphics and gameplay.

It was a good dream. I don’t think it meant much, other than it being a reminder of how good of a time can be had with friends and a good split-screen multiplayer video game.

I had 8 shipments last night. I sold two things on the same day that I thought I might never sell. An old LCD monitor, and a broken RC airplane. It cost 30 something dollars to ship the monitor via USPS. I gotta get that picked up by USPS tomorrow because it’s way too large to bike down to the post office.

The other package, the airplane, took probably 2 hours to pack. I had to make a custom box which I’m not sure will even hold up during the trip. I shipped it via FedEx and you know how FedEx can be! Rough.

We’ll see. Frankly I don’t care if it makes it or not. Well, I guess I care, but I’m prepared for it not making it intact. I did my best with what I had. That’s all I can do.

I’m thinking of biking it down to FedEx today. It’s only 5 lbs so it’s rather light. The difficult part is it’s shape. It’s 46″x13″x5″. I might be able to put that in my large backpack, but it’s going to extend skyward quite a bit. I think a better choice would be to strap it to the outside of my backpack.

We’ll see. I might just schedule a pickup for that one as well.

I would have scheduled a USPS pickup last night, but their systems were down. I saw something on Reddit about that.

It feels good to be ahead. I woke up this morning and didn’t have to do any packing. I got an extra hour of sleep because of that!

I got an extra hour, but I went to sleep pretty late. I think I slept at almost 3AM.

Right now I’m cooking some rice. I’d like to take a nap at some point. The big uncertain thing is how am I going to get that FedEx package to FedEx?

I don’t think FedEx ever billed me for the last time they picked up a package. Maybe they didn’t make a trip specifically to pick it up, so they didn’t bother charging me?

I think FedEx charges for ground service package pickup. If I paid more for a more expensive service, pickup is free.

I never got a bill. Maybe the charge is just on my account?

I’m not going to look into it. If I didn’t get a bill, I’m just going to assume it’s included with service.

Anyway, I’d rather not do the FedEx pickup if it’s possible for me to simply take it to the FedEx store. Last time I scheduled a FedEx pickup, they showed up a day later than the website said they would.

I like being labelled a fast shipper. My customers love that, and I love getting good reviews.

It’s marketing day! It’s the day that I schedule tweets to get sent out during the upcoming week. I’m going to be sure and generate eBay affiliate links for the listings I promote, so I get a final value fee credit should the item sell via the link!

June might turn out to be my biggest month for sales yet. In the past 31 days, I’ve brought in $1,300 on eBay. That’s incredible! It’s not the end of June yet, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m experiencing an increase in sales and I’m feeling good about the end of this month.

I got distracted. I thought of my favorite customer who messaged me via Discord. I hadn’t got back to them yet so I opened Discord. Then I got distracted further with a mention on Nerds United. Then I had to type a response to that mention…

Discord now closed!

I wonder what the difference is between a joint and a blunt.

I looked it up. A joint is a marijuana cigarette. A blunt is a tobacco cigar with marijuana.

I’ve been wanting to try smoking marijuana. I’ve done edible marijuana and that’s great stuff, but apparently edibles get the user really high for longer than if it had been smoked.

I see Joe Rogan smoking marijuana and I want to try that. So I looked up the difference between a joint and a blunt. I don’t want no tobacco! So it’s a joint that I want.

There are some inexpensive joints at the weed store that I got a text from. I just might be able to fit weed into my budget in the future!

A little bit every now and then. Not a regular thing. I still have to be stealthy while I live on my parent’s property.

I also don’t want to overdo it and become turned off to working hard at my eBay business.

To summarize. If I smoke, I can’t do it at home. I don’t really know where I would smoke in that case.

I used to drive by Sativa Sisters and I would see their signs which say, “lounge.” Does that mean that people can go smoke there? That would be the thing for me to do.

My logic and reason say that such an establishment cannot exist at that location, due to indoor smoking law which exists in Spokane.

I don’t know. I think these are some questions which are excellently suited for the new #weed-and-legal-drugs channel in the Nerds United Discord!

I’ll get back to Discord later today. Right now I gotta do self care and journalling.

I’d like to jump right into the next thing, marketing day!

10:54AM. I have one last scheduled tweet in TweetDeck. It’s going to publish somewhere around 11:30AM. After that, there are no upcoming tweets.

I’m thinking 2 tweets a day is a good amount. I want to get the word out that there is a new collectible card game to invest in. And it’s not just a thing to get in Japan anymore. Sakura Blossom Trading Post has the hookups! Whatever card you’re looking for, we have it, or we can get it!

Maybe that’s too much… But honestly I can get you cards if you want them.

I have the hookups!

I have a highly sought after signed STEINS;GATE card at Buyee’s warehouse. I got it for my favorite customer who said, “name your price.”

You can bet your bottom dollar that I’m going to name my price!

It’s going to be enough to cover the expenses of getting the card purchased and imported, plus 30%. That’s my regular markup. No special treatment, no special deals. The cost is the cost.

I’m tempted to gouge, and set a ridiculously high price. I just have to remind myself that I want repeat customers. I want their repeat business and I want to make a robust system that is going to last a long time, and earn me a lot of money.

That’s the plan. I’m the man. My name’s Stan.

STAN!? Who is this IMPOSTOR!?!



6 minutes until my brown rice breakfast is done. It’s smelling delightful!

The other day I made a sweet & sour sauce which I poured over some rice, beans, and potatos. It was pretty good!

My only complaint is how much sugar was in it. It had a 1/4 cup of sugar (I don’t have any sugar so I used agave nectar) plus ketchup. Ketchup is a terrible food, consisting of mostly high fructose corn syrup.

It was tasty though!

I’d like to figure out a sauce to make that is both nutritious and flavorful. One of the 6 featured in that video would probably fit the bill. I pretty much forgot all the recipes already.

Or maybe I should start making and eating curry again. Curry makes an excellent meal.

I like the kind of meal that I plop in my instant pot, hit a button and forget about until it’s done.

I think today is a perfect day to go buy some ingredients. I already have to make a trip to FedEx to drop off a package. Fred Meyer is right next to the closest FedEx store!

As a reminder to myself, grocery shopping via bicycle has to be carefully planned. My cargo space is very limited, and the quality of my meals are dependent on my sticking to a shopping list.

So the idea is to figure out a meal that I want to make. I have to do this before going to the grocery store, so I know exactly what I need to purchase.

I can’t deviate.

I can’t switch to gathering ingredients for a different recipe when I’m halfway through the shopping experience. Doing so just means I sacrifice cargo space for the originally intended recipe. Doing so means I fall short on ingredients for my meal.

Rice is done! Time to eat!

Rice was yummy. I ate it with leftover sweet & sour sauce, soy sauce, and nutritional yeast.

I’m reminded of nutrition every time I eat a simple meal. I worry about my vitamins and minerals.

I’ve been feeling so tired lately. I’ve been experiencing muscle spasms in my arms and ears. My diet is inconsistent and often consists of small meals.

I’m going to take care of myself today, and get myself some vitamins.

Order placed! I used the remaining $5 from the amazon gift card that I received for installing a prescription drug tracking app.

I wonder if there are more Amazon gift cards out there that I can earn for trying apps?

It’s really just a bribe. That’s what I hear software startups often have to do to onboard new customers. I wonder if it’s worth it for the startup? Paying me $15 for installing their app, do they make a return on that investment which is greater than $15?

I dunno. I dunno how much my prescription drug data is worth. I wouldn’t think it’s worth more than $15, but I really don’t have any clue.

12:15 PM. I’m thinking of going back to sleep for a couple hours. I haven’t been doing pomodoro technique today. I’ve been sitting at this chair without a break for quite a while.

I think I’ll nap, then awake and figure out how to strap my outgoing FedEx package to my backpack so I can haul it down to the FedEx store for shipment.

I got an e-mail from a website owner who wants to pay me to add a sponsored post to my blog. I checked the website they claim to own and it doesn’t connect to anything.

SSL cipher error: Unknown error

Something like that. It seems sketchy as fuck so I’m probably just going to ignore it. Or maybe I’ll reply with a price list with prices that they’d probably never agree to.

I think a price list that I could use as a canned response would be a good thing. Then if someone comes along who values my blog and actually has the money, I get paid what I think I’m worth and everybody’s happy.

What would my prices be?

Sponsored posts have to be really expensive, because I’m sticking my neck out and I’d be promoting something that might be complete crap.

$5,000 for a sponsored post.

I wonder what Peter McCormick does? He publishes his earning reports. He makes BANK off of sponsorships. $65,336.48 in May alone! He brings in more money in a month than I make in a year!!

So it doesn’t really go into what the money comes from. Just downloads and sponsorships is what I gather.

So anyway,

Price List

$5,000 for a sponsored post which remains on the site for 1 year. Post is not pinned to the home page and will become chronologically sorted along with other posts. Text and pictures only– no embedded javascript.

$500 for a sponsored slot in the widget sidebar which remains on the site for 1 month. Text and pictures only– no embedded javascript.


$1,000 per month addon for content with javascript.

$30,000 addon for post which is pinned to the front page for the duration of the post.

Terms and conditions

Post will clearly be labelled as, “Sponsored Content” to website viewers. Embedded javascripts must not interfere with site or viewers in any way. Website performance degradation, popups, or altering sponsored content positioning to appear outside of designated areas is not allowed.

Violent, graphic, hateful or defamatory content is not allowed.

Back to the blog

How’s that look? Such a silly question for me to ask, knowing that this blog post won’t see the light of day for at least 2 years.

Anyway, I sent that e-mail off to Alexander who’s website doesn’t work. It seems sketchy as fuck! But money is money and I could use $5,000!

If I got that money, I’d first wait 30 days or whatever it is that Paypal makes me wait before there’s no way the sender can get the money back. Then I’d immediately purchase a business license, set up a business bank account, and I’d spend some money on product acquisitions.

I’d use the money to pay rent for awhile. It’d all go back into growing the business!

1:03PM. I suppose I should go to FedEx now. I’m not feeling so sleepy now that I had some food. Maybe a bike ride, then a nap? That sounds pretty good.

I’m going to wrap up this blog post for today. I’ll finish with some words of gratitude, and some affirmations.

I’m grateful for my confidence. My confidence has been growing ever since I started weekly therapy. I’m learning that confidence comes naturally as a result from treating myself kindly, and I really appreciate the self-kindness that I’ve been growing.

I’m grateful for alternative lifestyles such as van living and tiny houses. I’m grateful for my small apartment and how I can work and sleep here. I’m grateful for this space and the comfort I feel here.

I’m grateful for this list in front of me– 101 positive things to say to myself. I’m grateful that these positive things rub off on me, and I’m grateful that I can incorporate their messages into my daily life. I’m grateful that I’ve gone through it 3 times now! I’m thinking that today I will come up with my own affirmations.

  • I am the master of my own destiny. I’m choosing to make a great life for myself!
  • I have people who care about me and want me to do good.
  • My strength is improving with every day of exercise. Three cheers for my health!


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