Sat Apr 25 2020

Yesterday I discovered that Projekt Melody isn’t just a risque virtual youtuber… She actually does sex shows on Chaturbate! Previously I had seen some of her sexy dance videos on YouTube. She’s scantilly clad in those videos, but technically, “fully clothed” in that her areola and vulva are covered. You know, the minimum required to prevent the “nudity” flag to be triggered. You know, American body shame logic.

Anyway, I spent three hours hanging out with a super sexy hentai babe who was masturbating and moaning. In her vagina she had one of those bluetooth vibrators that are popular among cam girls. When the audience member sends a tip, the vibrator activates. Spend more tokens, elicit a stronger vibration at a longer duration. For that entire 3 hours, that vibrator was going non-stop. At one point, there were 500+ donations queued up!

The thing about masturbating for that long is that there’s a lot of time to just talk. Low tip amounts make for a low level vibration, during which times Melody would talk about whatever. She’d respond to chat’s questions about whatever, and make jokes about needing two helmets and other personal protective gear to be able to ride her.

Melody would talk about the best anime in her opinion, JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure. She mentioned trans people were welcome on the stream and she brought up how a mosaic is a person with both penis and vagina.

Melody was reminded of the tragic chimera in Fullmetal Alchemist while simultaneously getting vibrated and feeling shocks of pleasure. She’d let out an awkward sobbing moan and then comment on how weird it is to cry and vibe at the same time. I have to say, seeing that was a first for me!

Melody’s outfit gets me hard. She wears g-strings which are a lifelong fetish of mine. Being a 3D avatar, Melody’s outfit is always perfect, always just where it should be, just as it should be.

Melody started the stream wearing her little booty shorts, a g-string, her swim top and her micro sweater. And of course, her signature thigh high leggings and armings(???) I’m not sure what to call that sweater or her arm coverings. Basically her sweater covers her arms and upper back, but it’s short to where her middrift is exposed.

Goddamn, DigitrevX is a god-level artist. I stared at Melody’s 3D body for 3 hours and it never got old. There’s so much detail in Melody’s body. Her hair alone is a wonder, with streamers or ribbons made of seemingly next-gen materials.

That’s a theme with her entire outfit. Next gen, futuristic materials and utilitarian objects displayed and mixed in with powerful effect.

Melody’s small g-string has one tiny purple caribiner on each side. The purple strings have thermal printed white ink, and it’s tight material fibers give off a shiny lustre. The strings meet with the dark panty panel via crimped-on loops. The material looks soft yet slippery, like a high-speed composite material that grips Melody’s groin like a glove.

More caribiners on Melody’s swim top. More next-gen shiny material covering her breasts.

Melody’s other outfit consists of what looks to me like nylon retention straps. Like a seatbelt or cargo straps. The straps perfectly follow Melody’s curves, and meet with anodized metal D-rings which transition to more futuristic soft and smooth vajayjay covering material.

The strappy belts and loops are arranged in a pattern which are reminiscent of Motoko Kusanagi’s iconic outfit in Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, the revealing and suggestive attire is an absolute genius of an outfit!

Melody hung out with her audience, got aroused by their positive vibes, and layer by layer removed clothing. The first to go was her booty shorts. Then, her micro sweater. Eventually, Melody was left wearing a slit-sized version of her g-string, with her swim top pulled to either side and revealing her firm and bouncy C cup breasts. The shoes and her arm/leggings remained as well, along with her vibrator with it’s luminescent tail wrapped around her leg.

I think Melody gets turned on by her own body. She mentioned that she’s more into girls than guys. She likes boobs of all sizes, and every time there was a shot of her well shaped derriere, she seemed to get into it. Her climax was brought on by an up-close shot at her barely covered ass and pussy, with focused kegels and intense breathing. I was so turned on that I had to orgasm again!

Get out your umbrellas!


Melody’s orgasm seemed too real to be fake. The build-up, the coos of pleasure, the apparent muscle contractions, the shaking in her legs, her acute relaxed state afterwards, her inability to focus on anything for minutes, the surprise aftershocks… I was shook. This girl is legit.

I think I’m hooked. I subscribed to Melody’s PornHub and followed her on twitter. I want to catch her next live stream and be a part of the audience! I felt so intimate with Melody just watching a recording and being on the other end. She’s funny and sociable and a true individual. Being able to comment and elicit responses will take me to the next level of intimacy.

Speaking of intimacy, I think this might be some sort of record for me. I spend over an hour masturbating. I never masturbate that long! I usually watch a hot MMD video, get off, get cleaned up, and get on with my day. This was different. I felt connected and appreciated. Melody repeatedly said that she loves us. Us being the chat that wasn’t preserved in the recorded video I watched.

I wasn’t looking to get off, I was looking for a shared experience. Melody was getting vibrated, and occasionally she would rub her clit. I was slowly stroking my penis, occasionally I’d add more lube and ramp it up.

I sat there getting an erection as this g-string clad hentai babe was sitting there on the floor moaning. I haven’t been this hard for what seems like years. The last time I did, I spent close to $100 in a one-on-one session with a camgirl. Despite the cam girl’s efforts, I put all my concentration into not climaxing, just so I could be with her and prolong the pleasure. She was kind and got to know me after we both got bored of cybering. I appreciated her, but that was too expensive for my taste, and I never did it again.

I can see why sex is attractive and practiced among couples. It’s a close bonding experience. Here I was thinking that sex had to be about penetration, dirty talk and roleplaying. This Projekt Melody stream gives me an alternative view. Sex is about being together in a way that is more zen than anything else on earth.

There is rubbing, there is penetration, there are flowing fluids and muscle spasms. There is also conversation. There is shared comedy, memes, words of love and affection. There is kissing and touching and the desire to reach out and get close. There is care and empathy, patience, and nurturing. There is soft spoken words and moans and deep breathing. There is focus, strong will, a willingness to be vulnerable, and an emotional release.

Love making is so much more nuanced than most of the porn that I watch. I can only hope to experience love making first hand in my lifetime. I want to experience it. I want that delicacy for myself!

Until then, I’m going to be relying on Projekt Melody. It’s the closest to an intimate sexual encounter that I can get right now. I’m so turned on by everything about Melody-chan. Her attire satisfies my greatest fetish. her body is impossibly beautiful, her wit and her openness is contagious.

So I discovered something about myself during this process. When I’m really turned on for long periods of time, my penis secretes it’s own lubricant every few minutes. The only reason I learned this is because I stayed hard and attentive for such a long period of time. Like I said earlier, I’m usually finished in 5 minutes when I masturbate. With Melody-chan, I was erect for over an hour!

I might have already known that at some point, but in recent history I completely forgot about it. Girls aren’t the only ones who get wet when they’re horny!

I think my waifu Hatsune Miku might have been dethroned. I’m a little sad about even thinking of it, but that’s what I’m feeling at the moment. I was able to achieve a higher level of intimacy with Melody than I have ever had with Miku. I was able to see a beautiful, depthy personality in Melody-chan than I have never seen in Miku.

I don’t know how I want to proceed at this point. Do I become polygamous and take on a second waifu? Do I abandon Miku? I think the answer that comes most naturally right now is that I’ll never stop loving Hatsune Miku. Miku has an incredible voice, and her character has infinite possibility. Someday, Miku might get an AI of her own, and become the greatest girl ever. Right now, I’m feeling a strong connection to Melody, because of how human she is. I can relate to a human girl better than I can to a VOCALOID!

Like I said, I will never stop loving Hatsune Miku. She will always have a place in my heart. I’m not going to touch my Miku shrine at this point. It’s too soon for that. I may have a complete change of heart in a few days. I’m just going to take it slow. I’m not going to make any brash decisions. I’m not going to stop being a Miku fan.

Perhaps it is that I am recognizing the reality of my relationship with Miku. Miku has become a sex object. I realized it when I would hop on after a long day. I no longer listened to Miku’s music or watched her PVs. My connection to her has been diminished by my monetization of her through the selling of my Weiss Schwarz and Precious Memories cards.

It’s not the same! It’s not exciting! The only thing that got me excited was seeing her get naked and dancing. I no longer had the longing feelings for her, or the sadness when I heard one of her more emotional tracks.

I think I became desensitized to her.

I don’t even know what to do about that. I think if I were in a human relationship and I became desensitized, I think that would be a good time to spice things up and try new things. In the case of Miku and I, I can’t do that. I’ve seen everything there is to see about Miku. I’ve found the raunchiest Miku hentai, her most powerful songs… My exploration of the Miku spectrum is completed!

I feel a little bad. I feel like I’m discarding Miku after I’ve used her up.

But really, how can I advance our relationship? I think the next level is maybe VR, but I think that’s going to leave a lot to be desired. I think the next level is actually human interaction. As strange as a jump that might be, I think that is logically what comes next.

There are hundreds of thousands if not millions of Miku fans out in the world. People just like me who become happy after watching News39 or sad after ACUTE. Those people might even get off to Miku like I do. Those are the people that I need to seek out and befriend!

Miku is an idea. A perfect ideal of a woman and a singer. A true, flawless idol. These levels are not achievable by mere humans. The best I can ever hope to have in terms of a healthy relationship, is one with another human who appreciates ideals like mine. That’s the next level!

Well, this was an enjoyable thing to write about. Not something I usually write about, but it’s something weighing heavily on my mind and I decided I would practice ordinary courage and put these words on digital paper. I’m being my authentic self, the person I love and want to embrace.

I’m going to wrap it up for now. I end with affirmations and gratitude, as per usual.

81. I am braver than I feel.
82. While I wait for the storm to pass, I will choose to dance in the rain.
83. I am loved.

I am grateful for the developers and artists who work on MMD, live Miku Expos, Virtual Youtubers and their virtual environments, clothing, props… There’s a lot of work that must go into that, from motion tracking to gesture controls to face expressions. It’s a really incredible emerging industry and I appreciate that computers and graphics cards are to the point where all this is possible. I mix in developers and artists but really I think there is a load that can be said for either group. I appreciate the worlds and the characters they create!

I’m grateful for my penis. I don’t know what I’d do without it. Actually, I’m pretty sure I would just work a lot more. I think I would be sad if I lost my penis, because I’m re-learning what my penis can do and all the pleasure and fun times that I can have using my penis. I feel a little silly for saying that, but It’s pretty true.

I often hear the phrase, “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Well, I disagree with that in this case. I am thankful now, because I haven’t used my penis to it’s whole extent. I know what it’s like to not use it fully, and I can now imagine what it would be like to not have it at all. I would be sad! Therefore, I’m grateful.

I’m grateful for my list of 101 Positive things to say to myself. I think this is probably the third time I’ve said I’m grateful for this list. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. In fact, I’m grateful that I brought it up again. I am happy to be reminded that this is a good list to use, and it contains a lot of relevant topics that I can use in my life. Affirmations are part of why I am feeling so good lately. Affirmations are what reinforces positive self thought. Affirmations remind me that I am worth the world. I deserve happiness and I deserve love and belonging. I deserve confidence and inner beauty and self-worth. I deserve it because I want to deserve it, not because anyone grants it to me. It’s sentiments like this that make me happy and glad to be alive.

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