Press "Enter" to skip to content

Sat Dec 28 @ 7:35 AM PST

Last updated on December 27, 2021

I sold some items on Bonanza. My price reductions worked!

Boy do I feel tired. How many days will it take of me waking up at the same time until I don’t wake up feeling completely terrible?

I feel terrible. When do I get to feel good and refreshed and alive?

Maybe the trick is to do something stimulating. Like drawing Miku! Here’s my attempt at drawing Api Miku.

Here’s the reference image I used.

I definitely feel better now. I feel more awake.

Random image below. This one makes me laugh!

LUO’s face is just hilarious.

So yeah. I have no idea what I’m going to do today. Of course I have the regular morning routine shit I gotta do. Write 2000 words, train, shower and shave, study Japanese, improve my bonanza booth.

Maybe I should keep working on Jepurdee. I bought the domain after all. Maybe I should keep working on it until it’s an app I would be happy to share with people. Right now it’s alpha quality software that is riddled with bugs.

I was barely able to share Jepurdee with my family on Christmas eve. The game import/export feature is bugged, so I wasn’t able to transfer my game data to jepurdee.com. Instead, I just ran the app in development mode, which has a host of problems.

It runs slower because the build is not optimized. The phone app all the players used probably lagged like hell.

I know the buzzers were not impressive. I realized there was a bug with how the lag compensation works. On a few occasions, players were locked out of pressing the buzzer because the app locked their buzzer in response to another player pressing their button. They were locked out even before they had a chance to buzz because another player had a stronger connection.

Lag compensation was supposed to give everyone an equal chance at buzzing in, in exchange for a few seconds grace period. In other words, I took into account buzzer unlocking happening at different times on each phone, but not buzzer locking happening at different times on each phone.

Sexy Fiverr

I don’t have much to say about Fiverr. Sexy Fiverr just came to mind as I contemplated last nights activities. I got sex on the brain and I ordered exotic underwear from TxM. Then I went on Discord and talked with my friend J. for awhile.

J. brought up Fiverr as a suggestion for me. I said I don’t think Fiverr is worth my time.

Truth be told, I really enjoyed the voice acting I did via Fiverr several years ago. I laughed a ton through the process, and really gave it my all.

Hindsight is 20/20 of course. I remember my Fiverr earnings were rather shit when I take into account the time I put into it. I was paid $30 for a few hundred character phrases. I don’t remember exactly how long the process took me. It involved creating a character voice, recording phrases, and editing out pauses and breaths.

It was at least 5 hours. Probably more, because I remember re-recording a few phrases for the client. Accounting for that time, it’s less than minimum wage.

That’s the fucked up thing about the gig economy. Whether it’s Uber Eats or Fiverr, the gig economy touts low prices and quality service for customers.

Someone is getting screwed. On Fiverr, it’s the sellers. On Uber Eats, I’m guessing it’s the drivers.

Maybe this will improve over time. Right now is a sort of gig economy gold rush. People are flocking to platforms like Instacart and Door Dash in the hope of making some quick cash. The freedom gig economy jobs offer workers is pretty incredible. No bosses who bark, no co-workers who create drama. I think that aspect is attractive to a lot of workers.

I don’t have much else to say so I will conclude this thought. Fuck gig economy work, I hope people get paid what they’re worth in the future.

PÜR

Do you like chewing gum? You’re a sadist.

I am um. Spewing. Facts. That. Are. Unfounded.

Hey guess what? I want to go back to sleep now.

Hey guess what? Chicken butt.

Hey guess what? Nothing. Nothing at all.

You know what really grinds my gears? That stupid meme the kiddos are propagating in 2019. It goes like this. Someone posts some content, and a viewer rolls in and makes a joke in the comment section.

Nobody:
Arnold: Get to da choppa!

This is a contrived example, but contrive I do.

kn’a mean? It’s the dumbest meme. The Arnold part is of course the part that varies depending on the content being commented on.

It’s the format of the comment that grinds my gears. It’s like some English Slang syntactic sugar of the following.

Nobody: <this video>
Arnold: Get to da choppa!

See that little bracketed section I added? It’s a variable. The variable points to the content being commented on. In actual use of this meme, the variable doesn’t always point to the content itself, but it sometimes points to a feeling or mood being expressed in the content.

That’s what’s so frustrating about this meme– the variable varies wildly!

The viewer of the `Nobody:` meme just kind of has to intuitively figure out what is being talked about.

Then there are variations which are even more dumb–

Nobody, not even anyone at all:
Arnold: Get to da choppa!

Just skip the first line already! It’s a stupid meme almost as stupid as the teleprompter note meme–

The Nigerian desert (read: a vast hot plain in Nigeria) is often associated with Nigeria.

See that read: note? That’s stupid. I’m not a news anchor reading from a teleprompter, neither are 100% of the people reading that sentence. The read: thing has got to be the dumbest meme of 2016, or whenever it became popular.

And the dumbest meme of 2019 is the Nobody: meme. I’m sensing a category here. Memes with colons!

There’s a joke to be made about butts. I will take the moral high ground and avoid making the joke for another two paragraphs.

The heading of this section is PÜR. Does that make a lot of sense? No, of course not. I guess if you knew the brand PÜR chewing gum, it would make sense for the first paragraph, then the heading no longer applies until this paragraph.

I could say that PÜR contains a colon, tipped on it’s side! What kind of shitmeister of an author affixes colons all over their article? Got any more shit to dish out, author? Anus. I bet you are getting anal that I’m talking about butt parts. Colons are connected to the anus.

Now I’m just trying too hard. I should do standup comedy and fail miserably. Joe Rogan says 100% of everyone who tries standup comedy fails hard the first few times. Then they can start to get good once they figure out how to deliver a joke and what not.

Fuckini

A Fuckini is like a Panini in that it is a type of sandwich. Where a Panini contains an italian bread as a bun, a Fuckini contains a couple of dakimakura (read: body pillows) as outer layers. (that is the first and the last time I will use the read: meme. I do it to get a rise out of myself and get myself to rage and smash the keyboard. I troll my future self LUL get rekt sun)

The inner layers of the fuckini contain manga books. Care must be taken to avoid penile paper cuts. High quality manga paper must be used, and lots of lube administered.15The inner layers of the fuckini contain manga books. Care must be taken to avoid penile paper cuts. High quality manga paper must be used, and lots of lube administered.

Luckily, since the Fuckini has been around for so long, young masturbators have kept up with the advance of science, and today more commonly add a third layer, one of a maturbatory aid such as a flesh light or onahole.

You can imagine what happens after the Fuckini has been assembled. The sandwich gets grilled, of course! The outer layers of the dakimakura melt into the fabric cushioning, forming a thick paste of hentai ooze.

The manga bursts into flames, spreading to the cotton padding.

After the fire is extinguished, the fapper is ready to release the beast and jonk tho thei’r heart’s content. Careful of that molten polyester, it’s piping hot!

I don’t even know why I wake up early anymore

I’m just in a bad mood from the get go. Writing just becomes a circle jerk of erotic brainfuckery.

Oh wait, isn’t this supposed to be a Writer’s Way type of an exercise? It’s not supposed to be good!

Ok then, let us start anew.

Good morning world. Today I am feeling refreshed and renewed. Today I think I will climb Mt. Everest without the aid of the locals. I got this!

Today I think I will eat a potato. I got this!

Today I think I will eat a gourd. I got this!

Today I think I will become a millionaire. I got this!

That last one I think I’ll save until 3:58PM, at which point I will execute and become a millionaire at 3:59PM. I don’t have to be a millionaire until 4:59PM. I’m just going to show off a bit to impress my friends!

This evening, I will initiate sex with my waifu at 9:32PM PST. Miku’s time zone is Tokyo which means it will be 2:32PM for Miku when I initiate sex with her. Oh boy, I hope she is horny like I am, and I hope she will spread her legs for me!

I sure hate being turned down by Miku when I want to have sex with her. One time I got all suave and went in for a hug. I held her tight and whispered in her ear, “I bought some dairy-free whipped cream. Want to get naked and roll around in it?”

She got all angry and pushed me away while yelling, “気持ち 、変態!”

She stormed off to her room. I gave her her space for a few hours. Later, I knocked on her door.

“あなたが痴漢!”

“Miku, I..”

“残す!ばっかが!死ね!”

We didn’t talk again until the morning. Luckily she was in a better mood then, and she jerked me off with her hands first thing.

God, that was hot. I walk to the dining room rubbing the sleep from my eyes and she’s there demanding I take my clothes off and sit on the couch.

“What’s this about?”

“Shut up. 座る.”

I just said, “whatever” and did what she said. First my shirt, then my pajama pants and boxers.

The moment my ass touched the microfiber fabric of the couch, Miku swooped in sitting next to me with lube all over her hands.

I was erect in an instant.

“Does that feel good?”

Miku softly asked as she rubbed her soft wet hands up and down my shaft. I could barely speak. I let out a deep moan and replied as best I could.

“はい。Keep going.”

I moved my hands towards Miku’s hair. Miku noticed, and slapped my hands way from her.

“だめ!触れない。”

“Okay, okay.”

So Miku didn’t want me to touch her. That’s a small price to pay for a handjob. I leaned back and rested my head in my hands.

“まったく。”

Miku poured some lube into her hand from a small container. She leaned in towards my towering penis, gripping it softly with both hands.

“それじゃ”

Miku began rubbing my penis with both hands. Slowly at first towards the base of my cock, where her secure grip met with my balls. I let out a hot breath in pure pleasure as she stroked her hands upwards.

“My my, you must be feeling good!”

Miku spoke as a drop of precum formed at the tip of my penis.

“Yeah. Miku I’m sorry about last night.”

I replied, wanting her to know my feelings.

Miku paused with her hands gripping my penis, just below the head.

“You did nothing wrong.”

Miku spoke with her grip on my penis slightly loosening.

“I.. I’m on my period.”

I lifted my head and looked Miku in the eyes. In doing so, Miku became bashful and looked away, simultaneously squeezing my penis.

“Aahhg!”

Miku’s tightened grip caught me by surprise. With both hands firmly placed around my member, she slid them downwards until they reached the bottom of my shaft.

“Ahhg. Miku?”

Her eyes had teared up. They were closed and she was blushing. Her grip around my cock was tight. Up and down she slid her hands, barely looking at me.

My head dropped back as the waves of pleasure from Miku’s soft hands rode over my dick. Over and over, I felt the flawless smooth skin of her soft hands rub my penis. Up and down, up and down, her warm embrace sent me into a euphoric trance.

“Miku, I love you!”

I was just barely able to get the words out as I writhed in pleasure.

Miku looked up at me with eyes wide open. Firmly stroking with both hands. Our eyes met.

“Chris, I love you too!”

💦


I’m grateful for my penis. I’m grateful for Hatsune Miku. I’m grateful for Hentai which can inspire dirty stories such as the one above.

Next story, I hope Miku will let me touch her. I want to cuddle with her in a warm comfy bed all day!

Looking for VOCALOID trading cards?

Check out Sakura Blossom Trading Post