Sat Jul 4 2020

Happy Independence Day!

Just chillin’

Turned my alarm off before I went to sleep last night. Felt so nice to sleep in until 11:30. Nerds United had a potluck today at noon but I didn’t want to go because I don’t know the people in the group well enough and I would definitely be uncomfortable and awkward the entire time.

That was an excuse.

I didn’t want to go because my frienemy B. RSVP’d and my friend D. did not. That’s the real reason.

So yeah, no regrets there.

Sorta regrets because I’d rather go to a Nerds United event than the other 4th of July event I was invited to.

I’m just not going to go to either, and celebrate in my own way. I’ll celebrate by lighting a smoke grenade and watching it burn.

I could go watch fireworks if I wanted to. I could cycle to liberty lake..

Oh wait, that would be in the dark, and I don’t have night gear for riding my bike.

I have been looking at illumagear for some time. They have a youtube channel that I’m subscribed to, so I get to see all their new product announcements on there. That’s the type of thing I would need to feel comfortable riding at night.

Most bicycle headlights and taillights don’t cut it. They are too small and too dim. Luckily there are a number of companies who recognized these shortcomings, and really upped the lumens. I’d want those, but I’d want something on my helmet as well. Something that moves with my body and makes sighting me unmistakable.

I used to have a custom made neopixel thing that I attached to my helmet. That thing was amazingly bright, and I programmed into it a panning amber orange animation which I felt really good about.

Unfortunately I broke that when I smashed my helmeted head on the ground during a longboarding accident. I never repaired the device for whatever reason.

I probably should get an MRI or whatever it is where the brain is imaged. I have suspicions that there is old damage there, either from that longboarding accident, or the jaw surgery that I had in 2011.

I think this thought so often, and yet I do nothing about it.

“What’s the point?” I think. “I’m going to die anyway.”

“I don’t care about myself enough to do it.”

“I need someone who cares about me more than I care about myself.”

It’s sad to realize that I’m having these thoughts. These are the exact kind of thoughts that I banned from my internal dialog. I think these ones have slipped past my mindfulness exercises because they are related to something that I don’t think about on a daily basis.

Well, I think I need to make some progress here.

Thinking thoughts such as, “I don’t care about myself…” is now a banned thought.

Thinking thoughts such as, “What’s the point?…” is now a banned thought.

No, I think that one is too broad. It’s okay to question what the point is. What is not okay is to abandon positive action because the reality that I will die someday.

The thought, “I need someone who cares about me…” is bullshit. Nobody is going to care about me if I don’t even care about myself. I’ve seen this in action with my parents. A few years back, they actually said they gave up on me. I made a youtube video rant about it where I got pretty upset.

But it’s not like I had given up on myself. I would never have thought something like that at around that time. I was doing my best with the tools I had. I was going with the flow. I avoided feeling anything by distracting myself constantly. I needed change in my life but I was too afraid and codependent to do anything about it.

I pretty much did all the CoDA work that I need to do before Monday’s therapy session. I dunno if I’m going to do any more work on that before monday. I have interpersonal relationships work and some AFK assignments that I probably failed.

I was assigned to use problem solving to figure out a way to make an invitation work out. Well I got two invitations this week but I ignored both of them because I wasn’t interested. So… :shrug:


I wish those emoji tags worked everywhere. I bet good money that there’s a WordPress plugin for that. But I don’t care to look for it because I don’t think I need it. I can embed images if I want. I can copy-paste emoji from if I really want.

I have so many plugins installed as-is, so I don’t really want to bloat my site by installing any more.

I’m just gonna write today. No expectations. No assignments.

Both expectation and assignment are barriers to my writing flow. I’d rather skip both of those and reap the benefits of simply writing and sorting out what’s going on in my head.

This morning I woke up and I got a Buyee notification of something that I bought arriving at the Buyee warehouse.

I jumped on Buyee and went to the Precious Memories section. I browsed for product which I can resell. I found a bunch of starter decks which I don’t have. Squid girl, Cardcapter Sakura (sp?) and some set that I’ve never seen before. I placed sniper bids on all of them.

Starter decks have been selling pretty well lately. I made a huge sale on Thursday. One customer spent like $180, another spent $70… Friday was a crazy busy day for shipping.

I tried to take it easy after I had done shipping. I struggled to take a break. I would find myself back at it at 10PM, listing new product.

I guess I’m a workaholic now.

I can’t believe how fast this week went by. Monday was the most incredibly busy day I’ve had in the history of Sakura Blossom Trading Post. I scrambled to organize. I listed like mad. I must have had close to 80 products listed that day. I took new photos of old stock, sorted them into bins on shelves, photographed cards, created new card lots… It was pretty incredible.

I threw out a lot of stuff this week. I overwhelmed the trash can, and now I’ve got bags of trash in my apartment which will probably take me weeks to get rid of.

Since I’m the one who takes the trash to the road, I’ll just have to make sure that every Friday, that can is completely full.

This is a problem I have with living. Getting rid of trash has always been a problem for me. When I lived in Eugene, I would have piles of trash and I couldn’t get rid of it because I was too lazy and inconsistent to ensure that the trash went out every week.

That has always stuck with me, which is why I’m always on top of trash here. Since I took on the responsibility of getting the can to the street, I have been religious about it, and I never miss a week.

I’m grateful to have that habit. I’m grateful that I plan ahead and set recurring reminders on my e-mail calendar. I’m grateful that I have a system to where I can’t possibly forget.

I get an e-mail reminder on Friday night, and Saturday morning. Once I take the trash can to the road, I can archive those e-mails. If the can hasn’t been taken to the road, the e-mail stays in my inbox, prevalent and pinned.

That gave me an idea. Auto-pinning based on an inbox rule. Previously, I just manually pinned it. I just created the rule.

I just won a Buyee auction. Oh wait, no that was not an auction really. I just used the buyout button because that’s the only way to get this particular item. The price seemed really fair and it’s low enough to where I can mark it up to $25 or even $30 and I think it’ll still sell.

There are Squid Girl fanatics out there who will love to buy this starter deck from me!

$15.42 is what I paid. It’ll go to the Buyee warehouse where it’ll sit for awhile. I’ll then have it combined with other purchases and shipped via seamail.

All according to plan. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

…My plan to take over the US distribution of Precious Memories TCG! Next, UK, next, France. Next, the world!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!

Had to force myself to take a break. I did 5 squats then I organized my shipping shelf.

Here’s a view of my shipping shelf from where I’m sitting right now at my computer. See that goal chart on the wall? I smashed my weekly card sales goal for the first time ever. 50 card sales per week. As of today, I’m in the 60s or 70s. I did so good this week that there were a few days when I forgot to even put marks on that chart.

All this income is reminding me that I need a budget. I’m spending money on Buyee to make more acquisitions, but I don’t have any sort of limit. I’m just kinda getting a feel for it, but that’s probably not a good way to be doing this.

In addition, I’m starting to be concerned about taxes. I’m probably on track to bring in $12,000 (gross) this year, which is a condition which legally means I need to get a business license. I suppose I’m in a grace period right now, because I haven’t hit $12,000.

The thing is, I need to plan ahead for when the tax man comes along. I don’t want to have a surprise bill at the end of the year that is so large that it forces me to close down.

This is where a bank account comes in handy. I could simply make a subaccount which I put 30% of gross income into as a savings account for taxation.

I’ll have to work on that, maybe do some research on what is required for a business bank account.

I think there might be a chicken and egg problem here. I’m thinking that the bank account might require a business license, but in order to get a business license…

No, that doesn’t add up. A business license doesn’t require a bank account. All a business license requires is a mailing address, phone number, designated person in charge, and a monetary payment.

Ok research done! That was super simple. My credit union had a nice page dedicated to just this thing.

Tax ID#: EIN of your LLC.
Documents: Formation documents; certificate of organization/formation; operating agreement, and beneficial ownership documentation (see footnote below.) 

Cool! So business license first. And the nice thing about using my existing credit union is that their website and everything will be familiar. They even have a free budgeting thing, although I probably won’t use it because it’s kinda super crappy.

I think a rough budget on paper would be enough. Or a spreadsheet probably makes more sense.

Heck, I could probably do it right here right now.

So I’ve been bringing in about $1000 a month.

$400 has been going to rent.
$100 has been going to me (payroll)
30% should go to taxes ($300)
20% goes to eBay seller fees & shipping expenses. ($200)

So I’m just barely bringing in enough money to cover everything.

And this exposes a big mistake in my spendings. I haven’t been saving anything for taxes. All that money has been going into product acquisitions or buying packing supplies.


Ok, well I made a mistake, but I caught this early on and now I can course correct.

I need a bank account… That would make allocating funds so much easier… but I need a LLC first. This is the chicken and egg problem!

Two minutes left until break. And I’m at 1900 words. Quick, type some bullshit so we can be done!

Oh, I’m at 2000 words. Well I’ll end with some gratitude anyway, because that’s a good thing to do to remain positive.

I’m grateful for my STRENGTH which allows me to bicycle down to the grocery store and back.

I’m grateful for the POWER of my legs. My left leg is twitching right now.. I think I should go outside and walk LOL.

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