Sat Nov 14 2020

Covid-19 is a weak ass-virus that in any other year prior would have been called, “the common cold.”

Covid-19 got the response it got because humanity now has a certain level of

  • Interconnectedness
  • Meme sharing
  • Neo liberalism
  • Wrong speak
  • Outrage Journalism

Fear and Outrage stick to brains the best, and spread the fastest. A government response was demanded by the citizens. Government, ever persistent in growing it’s influence and winning minds, took the initiative and passed several laws, extending the pervasiveness of their spying eye into everybody’s personal lives.

I’m talking out of my ass about bullshit and I don’t like it.

I ate a 1000 calorie breakfast and now my body is wanting to fall asleep. I’m not letting it sleep, so I’m left with a shitty bad mood.

I don’t know what I’m doing on the computer. I let myself take a shortcut instead of walking outside for 45 minutes. I cancelled walking because my feet were sliding too much. I used that as an excuse and now I’m inside, binging on youtube and scrolling through a shitstorm on twitter.

Markiplier and Unnus Annus suck dick and I’m tired of seeing their fat ugly faces appear in my feeds.

I’m feeling like shit, and I got CoDA at 10AM.

I tried to get into CoDA, but I couldn’t find the Zoom invite link. I texted the organizer.

Hi <name> this is Chris Grimmett. I’m inquiring about coda WA 162 today. Is this meeting taking place via Zoom? Thank you.

Me at 9:30

Yes it is.

Organizer at 9:31

Thanks may I please have the meeting ID and passcode?

Me at 9:32


And now it’s 10:08. Well fuck that shit! I did all that I could do. My guess is that the organizer silenced their phone after my first text, and didn’t see the text where I was asking for the meeting invite.

I also sent a message to the Alano Club manager via their contact form to see if they have the meeting ID. It’s not lookin’ like I’ll get into the meeting today, but I will have the info for next week.

Well that sucks!

Yeah, I bet they silenced their phone so they could focus on being present at the meeting. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt and skipping past the possibility that they are ignoring me.

I sure have shit luck in contacting CoDA organizers.

I remember texting a day early and not getting a response from the Spokane Valley CoDA group organizer. I think in that case, they might have been using the wrong phone number to reply to me… Or maybe they were having a moment of codependent control? LOL IDK… Whatevs. I’ll try to get into the next one, with or without the support of the organizer.

This is my biggest complaint of CoDA meetings… they’re this silly little invite only club felowship and it seems that they make it hard to get into. Meanwhile they try so hard to get donations from the attendees… Open that shit up if you want to make money, goddamn!

Oh that reminds me. I think it is time I get people to stop texting me on my burner phone number. I don’t intend to renew that service when it is set to renew in a few months.

I just got a text from a different person who says they are going to send me an invite link via e-mail. So do I join late? Yeah I think I join late, seeing as they went out of their way to get me an invite.

22 minutes late isn’t bad. That’s just after they get the welcome stuff out of the way. There should be plenty of time to share and listen and all that jazz.

Well they haven’t sent me the invite link yet… I may be waiting longer still. I may not get it until after the meeting. IDK! I’m ready though. I got my system audio pipes to my headphones, I got my microphone clipped to my lapel. Lessgooooo!

I’m expecting nothing. It’s good to expect nothing. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I’m okay with any outcome. I’m going to make today a great day, regardless of the result

“Sorry for delay. Email on the way”

??? at 10:37

Well I dunno if I want to join 37 minutes late into a meeting which is 1 hour long…

I replied to the e-mail saying thanks and that I’ll be joining next week’s meeting.

I think I just missed an opportunity to communicate shame. I could have said, “I don’t want to join the meeting 40 minutes late” but I just skipped that part.

The two people who worked to get the the invite link were doing so during the meeting. They went out of their way for that.

Stop. Detective work. I have no control over that. They didn’t have to do that.

Ok anyway, I’m sorta out of control of myself right now. I’m going back and forth between journalling the garbage that I’m writing, and meme youtube videos. Then I go down a rabbit hole, find myself getting angry, then I return to the journalling and texting and I repeat the loop

For fucks sake. Use your pomodoro. Use your daily checklist. For fucks sake man, let’s have a good day!

Ok then, 7 minutes of yoga.

I went above and beyond with this wonderful 19 minute yoga.

Ok so I’m going to jump into ebay, because I didn’t list anything yesterday, and I want to ensure that I appear high on the search results this weekend.

I’ll come back to the journal if I feel like it. I’ll probably feel like it, because I only did 25 minutes of journalling and my daily target is 50 minutes. I’ll be back cuz I’m going to have a great day and check off all the things on my todo list!

I’m back! I did a bunch of shit, like listing cards on eBay, eating, watching ironmouse vods, etc. etc.

I completed my yoga quota for today, but I’ll probably do even more after this journalling.

I’m gonna watch the Theranos documentary. I saw a bunch of news articles about Theranos on Hackernews over the past several months, but I never gave them any attention. Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliff were talking about it and they filled me in. It sounds like it’s a captivating watch, so I’m downloading it and I’ll soon see if it lives up to the hype!

I’m doing a diet audit today, which means that I’m just tracking what I eat via, and seeing if I’m reaching my targets. 1815 calories, 56g protein, 130g carbs, 65g fat.

I hit my calorie target, but I’m 7g low on protein, and low on potassium. I’m consistently low on potassium. I think I could really use some potassium supplements, or a potassium-rich food which I can eat on a regular basis.

Soybeans do it for me, but I haven’t been making enough grocery store trips to fill up on those. I only have oatmeal and rice and veggies at the moment.

I’ve had mind fog all day. I think I’m either tired or stressed or both. Or it also happens when I have bowel pain, like when I’m constipated. I don’t feel constipated, but maybe I’m just not in touch with my body because of stress.

Yeah, it’s probably sleepiness and stress.

Hmm, what am I going to do for the rest of the day? It’s 5:47PM. I’m going to see if I can get that potassium somehow using shit that’s in my fridge and/or cupboards. Also I’ll get that 7g protein, no problem. Protein is never an issue, even though I don’t eat meat. I think it’s a common misconception that meat is the only way to get protein. I have been asked about my protein source on more than one occasion when my diet comes up.

I think I’m going to try and chill, and do something social. I’ve done enough work today, and the past several days. I want to shake this brain fog and feel GOOD!

I might run in place. I haven’t exercised today. I really see the difference exercise makes. I don’t think I get brain fog when I exercise. I think my body is more awake and more apt to process stimuli when I have a nice morning walk.

I’ll definitely do a walk or a bike ride tomorrow. Probably a walk, since the wind is supposed to be in the red zone tomorrow. A walk to the grocery store could be a nice event.

Maybe today will be a cheat day. IDK yet. I’ll be fine if it does turn out to be a cheat day. I haven’t had one of those since Thursday the 12th! I think I’ll go to bed early if I decide to have a cheat day. I feel like I could go to sleep right now…

Is it hibernation time?

I can’t think of anything else to write about. I just wanna chill out. Where’s the social thing of today? I missed CoDA so that kinda fucked my original plans.

I guess I could hop into Stormworks with my brother and S., but that’s going to be a problem on it’s own.. Y’know, the whole addiction thing?

I’m downloading Proton 5.13 via Steam. I wanna see if I can run Stormworks via Proton.

well I kinda failed that Pomodoro session by fiddling with Steam rather than writing.

Fuck it! I’m distracted and journalling is work! No more work today! FFS!! take a break!

ok I wrap this up now

custom affirmation

4. I like to fuel my body with food that my body appreciates


I’m grateful for Proton which is a derivative of WINE and is built right into Steam. I’m so grateful that Valve as a company puts so much emphasis on Linux gaming.

I’m grateful for Nerds United, the events they host, and the people who I meet and socialize with. I’m happy to have made friends through the group.

I’m grateful for all the choices I have in life. I am truly free.

tha’s it


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