Sun Jun 14 2020

I sold another lot of 4 USB drives. They’re selling better than cards at the moment, so that’s a plus I suppose.

I want more sales! I’m not even going to have a queue for tomorrow because I’ve just been packing and shipping as orders come in.

I think I’m bored.

I think I’ll shower and then hang out with my brothers.

I hung out with my mom for about an hour. We talked then I went back to my apartment and took a nap. Woke up to my laundry alarm and I felt like shit. Just out of energy and I wish I had slept for much longer.

Went and got my laundry then I pigged out on raisins and peanut butter. I haven’t ate much today. I had rice and lentil stuff earlier this afternoon but I got hungry again. I’m cooking some rice and a potato. Gonna put my leftover lentil topping on it.

IDK what to do today. I need a hobby. IDK why, but I’m having trouble hanging out with my family.

I wanna work. I wanna be packing and shipping items for hours every day. I wish I had the sales volume that I think I deserve!

I’m just watching JRE and I don’t even know. YouTube. Crackermilk and Cherdleys. Hilarious youtube channels.

JRE #1490. Joe’s talking about some Covy shit. Covid safe comedy clubs in Ohio. Apparently Dave Chappel is doing outdoor comedy shows that required the governor’s approval.

End the madness. End the lockdown. For fucks sake the whole world is going stircrazy.

I need my minimum wage service industry customers to go back to work and give me their hard earned money in exchange for the weeabo merchandice which is hanging on the wall in my apartment.

Oh I got really nervous for a second. I thought a $80 card I had listed on eBay just sold for 50% off. I thought I might have made a mistake with coupons or something, and a customer found a way to get a screaming deal on a card.

I think we’re good though. It wasn’t the $80 card, just a card which is named similarly.

We good! A $40 sale that I am pleased to make!

I got an invite to play Jackbox games with my friend J. First time playing. That was a fun time.

9:42 PM. I haven’t done much focusing today. I am going to spend 25 minutes and focus on this task of journalling.

I felt some codependent behaviors come up when I was chillin’ at the dinner table with my mom. My dad was in the living room on his chair and I felt like I had to say things to impress my dad.

I recognized it as it happened and I reminded myself that no, I don’t have to impress him. I am okay as I am.

I think I’ve hit some sort of plateau in my work on social anxiety. I think I was doing a lot better several months ago when I was actually going to the behavioral health office and sitting down in group meetings and participating.

COVID-19 is so stupid. The nanny state is getting out of hand. The nanny state says that the economy has to shut down in order to save 1% of the population which has a pre-existing vulnerability.

Here’s a strange thing. People are taxed. People prop up the government through their taxation. Thus, people are deemed important and the state issues free healthcare to people who cannot afford it themselves.

It makes sense that people are valued as tax slaves. It makes sense that the tax slaves are supported with free healthcare, because those tax slaves are what strengthen country.

But what about old people? They can no longer work and pay income tax, however they are supported financially through other means such as social security. Why? Shouldn’t the old be forgotten and left do die?

Yet the old are being coddled and the economy is being crippled because of COVID-19 which is a disease that takes the largest toll on old people.

Yes, I have said some fucked up things. I’m not stating my opinion here, I’m trying to see something from a statist perspective.

Yes, I think the lockdowns are madness. I think they need to end immediately and people need to get back to work. My social skills are suffering because of the lockdown. I want to get back to my saturday board games and my individual and group therapy sessions.

I think the lockdowns are madness. I thought the lockdowns were put into place to flatten the curve. I thought we flattened the curve. Why do the lockdowns persist?

This is like the Iraq/Afghanistan war all over again. The job has been done. GET THE FUCK OUT!

But that’s not how it goes. The lockdown created this paradigm shift and now there are opportunities for people in positions of power to act and advance their agendas.

The stimulus package that went through back in April or whenever it was… I know there was some sneaky shit added to the bill that made the stimulus package happen. I don’t know what it is, but I think there are going to be some nasty repercussions in the future when it comes to civil liberties.

I’m shaking my head. I’m shaking it because I’m disappointed in myself for giving attention to politico.

I am free.

I am free because I choose to be. I am free because I do not ask permission. I am free because I do not buy into fear. I am free because I reject authority.

Back to the statist perspective. What is the reason for protecting an aging population from a highly contagious disease at the cost of the economy?

The old pay sales tax. There is a huge elderly population which are loose with their savings accounts. That huge population pays billions in pharmaceuticals and health care, supporting an industry which also pays taxes.

Ok, so a life is pretty valuable, even if it’s ill. Maybe especially if it’s ill. Ill people spend shit tons of money on hospital bills.

Shit. Tons.

That’s so fucked up. Some people get billed thousands of dollars a day to stay alive.

The fucked up thing is that there is an industry which can charge those amounts, and it’s just commonly accepted.

That industry got that way because of government fuckery. Healthcare used to be affordable. Heathcare was incredibly affordable, until the government stepped in and banned bench practice. Now there’s all these insurance agencies which were put in place to “create jobs” when really the free market could have solved the problem on it’s own.

I dunno what I’m talking about. I’ve just heard some things and I stick to those concepts like glue. It’s probably a lot more complicated than what I understand.

I think the free market could figure it out. I think people could do what they loved to do, and be supported by the community who values their contributions. But not everybody wants that kind of community, so that’s not the kind of community we have.

I hope I can find a community that is the kind of community I want to support.

25 minutes is up! Time to… Do something else for a few.

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