Sun Jun 7 2020

Today my dad is celebrating his birthday. His birthday is actually tomorrow but with today being a weekend, today is a good time for the family to get together and celebrate.

It’s 12:33PM. I woke up around noon. The past two days have been physically very challenging due to me acquiring a bicycle!

I am thinking of cooking myself some dinner, because I don’t want to go hungry when everyone around me is eating meat. It’s important that I eat well, especially now that I have a bicycle in my possession. I am the gas tank for my vehicle now!

I don’t need to lose any weight. I almost never need to lose weight, regardless of how I eat. I am a freak of nature in that way, and I’m grateful for it.

My body has such an efficient metabolism.

I just had an idea. I should go to the grocery store right now. That way, I can have some coconut ice cream when everyone else is celebrating, eating cake and milk based icecream!

I have my bicycle now. A trip to Albertsons would be so fast!

15 minutes it says. LOL, that’s a HUGE time savings compared to the 1 hour it takes on foot!

I’m going. I want to eat well today!

Problem. I only have $8 on my EBT card. I also don’t know where my bike lock is. I’m also really hungry right this minute.


Also my bike’s rear disk brake is rubbing.

Well, I just made the decision to go to the grocery store really complicated.

I didn’t go to the grocery store. Instead I started my laundry and cooked some rice.

I can’t find my bike lock. IDK if it exists anymore. I think I’m going to spend some Bitcoin and get a Kryptonite lock.

I spent $50 on eBay to buy a used Kryptonite lock. I hope it’s not a stolen lock.

I may have some buyer’s remorse in that I could have spent $90 on the same lock in new condition, and signed up for Kryptonite’s anti-theft program in which they would insure my bicycle if it were stolen.

That’s a pretty incredible thing that they offer! Makes the lock worth a whole lot more.

Anyway, I saved the $40 and I’ve got a used lock on the way. I accept the risk of not having bicycle insurance and I will continue forward!

I had a poop today which was almost orgasmic. An assgasm, if you will. I haven’t had such a feeling for a long time. Is this a byproduct of quality daily exercise? It’s not bad!

I keep thinking about this blog’s future. The more I think about it, the more I appreciate that I write my deepest, most personal thoughts.

I am disgusted by the behavior of putting on a mask and pretending to be a perfect person. Hiding the things that make people human. For example, hiding sexual urges is a common behavior for a lot of people. I was taught to be this way.

I’m starting to learn that there are people out there who join sex clubs and take part in multi-day orgies at private resorts. There are people who love to wear skin tight body suits with cutouts only for their mouth, nose and genitals, get tied to the floor while they get jerked off by a machine.

There are people who gather around and watch these activities, casually commenting about the good machine design and how the participant is writhing in pleasure.

This isn’t some new occurrence, I’m just now realizing it happens thanks to the internet.

The people who join sex clubs and have orgies have something I don’t. They have an openness and a confidence in their bodies and their sexuality.

I’m not really interested in orgies. I’m not closed to the idea, but I think a prerequisite should probably be 1 on 1 sex. I have yet to level up to that point, so I’ll keep my goals grounded to that standard for now.

See what I did there? I opened up a bit. It’s not the first time I’ve said that I’ve never had sex on my blog, but it’s somewhat difficult to write about.

The other day I had a shaming experience when my friends on Teamspeak were talking about sex from behind. They asked the question, do you ever have problems getting your dick up in there?

I just stayed quiet. I was ashamed to say that I had no such experience.

The weird thing is that I don’t feel guilty about it. So what? So what that sex has never been a priority for me?

I think there’s a certain expectation in society that dictates a certain age range when sex should occur in a person’s life.

  • 14 years old: first bf/gf
  • 16 years old: first kiss
  • 18 years old: lose virginity
  • 21 years old: lots of sex with lots of different partners
  • 30 years old: married, monogamous, sex every now and then
  • 40 years old: married and miserable. sex sparingly & not so great.
  • 50 years old: what sex?
  • 60 years old: penis no longer works properly.
  • 70 years old: no kids at home. discover Viagra, rediscover sex
  • 80 years old: partner died, have lots of sex with other widows/widowers and regret a life of monogamy.
  • 90 years old: ded

Those are society’s sex expectations in my mind.

Great yoga break! I love this flow. Bird makes great yoga vids!

So back to sex. These expectations are bullshit. I have to realize that nobody sets these for me. I set these sex expectations, based on what I learned in my youth, and what I absorb on a daily basis.


I can completely ignore these expectations and be a BDSM orgy fiend if I want to be! There’s really nothing stopping me other than my own head.

My lights are flickering. I’m really hungry. I’m all out of snacks. I regret not going to the grocery store earlier!

It’s raining now. I went inside my parent’s house to cycle my laundry and I saw that my dad is taking a nap on the back porch with a propane heater pointed right at him. Haha that’s a funny sight.

I need to eat something. I should have bought dried fruit when I was ate Safeway the other day! Arrgh! Me hungy!

Well writing in my blog isn’t going to do anything to satisfy my hunger. I can go ride in the rain and visit the grocery store to get some munchies, or I can stay home and make some more brown rice and beans.

It’s 5:30. No time to make beans right now! No time to go to the grocery store either, now that I think about it. At a minimum, my trip would be 45 minutes to the store and back. That would put me back home at 6:15 at the earliest. Plus I don’t have a bike lock. I can’t be risking my brand new bike like that!

I used to risk my electric longboard sometimes. That’s the whole reason I had a bike lock, so I could lock up my longboard while I went inside Fred Meyer to purchase groceries. When I first got my E-longboard, I didn’t have a lock, but I ended up at Fred Meyer.

I would simply tie a piece of paracord between my longboard board and the bike rack, to make it kinda seem like there was a lock.

Luckily, most people are honest. Most people aren’t going to take a vehicle that doesn’t belong to them.

It’s 2020 now. Fear, COVID-19, riots, unemployment, and the like are trending. I don’t feel so comfortable with a paracord restraint right now.

Well I gotta eat. I gotta do a grocery store run today or tomorrow. How am I going to prevent bike theft while I lack a bike lock?

I suppose I could do a repeat of what I did on Friday, with alterations. I’ll cycle to the bike shop, drop it off to get it’s disk brake fixed. While I wait for the repair, I’ll walk to Safeway and buy lunch and groceries. Then I can sit somewhere and journal until I get a call from the shop.


I have a sore throat or something. I think it’s my lungs adapting to being a cyclist.

Bicycling is literally ADDICTIVE. Yesterday I took my bike out for a spin, climbing the gentle hill towards the local airfield. My lungs were on fire yet I couldn’t keep myself from pushing myself to the limit and experiencing that superb SPEED!


I like Gaz’s clever product placement of his book in the background.

This meal actually looks pretty expensive. I don’t have a frying pan. All I got is a pot.

I can’t watch this! It’s torture on an empty stomach!

5:52PM. I’ll go to my parent’s house and see if my mom is serving any food!

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