Sun May 10 2020

It’s 1:01 AM. I haven’t slept yet. I’m having trouble disconnecting.

Earlier in the evening, we had a family get-together, violating the stay at home order. I’m glad we did it. It was a wonderful time and we had hotdogs, marshmallows, chips, fruit salad, etc. etc.

I had the vegan variety of all the things, but that wasn’t the best part. The best part was having conversations with family that I haven’t been able to have in 2 months. D. was home and he shared his wealth of knowledge about viruses and the microscopic world. Everyone shared their coronavirus memes. I talked to B. about gun stuff. K. told me about her new job and how she’s been training every day.

Everybody seemed to stay later than normal. I think everybody was having a good time. I was definitely having a good time, and I didn’t want it to end. I don’t want the night to end even now, after I’ve watched hours of youtube, vocaloid videos, hentai, read a half dozen nerd news articles, and now I’m back to the vocaloid MVs.

IWhaaaat am I doooooing? My additions are so strange. I’ll open youtube, browse, find nothing of interest. I’ll close that tab and open Hacker News, scanning for a new article that piques my interest. Nothing, it’s been too small of a time between last time I read articles.

I’ll close HN and open Twitter. Then I close twitter because I remember that I don’t use Twitter directly anymore, I use so I click my browser extension button. I read everything there and realize that nothing is new. So I close and go to eBay and adjust some prices of underperforming listings. Then I realize that it’s me time and I close eBay and I check my e-mail.

It’s the middle of the night, no new e-mails. Inbox is empty. Team inbox zero, baybee!

I close Fastmail and I go to youtube. Wait a fucking minute, I was here just minutes ago. Nothing new and interesting, so I close youtube and go to… Hmmm. I was just here. I suppose I could open Reddit. Ew, no! Oh I know, I’ll open HN and check for new articles…

WHAT AM I DOOOOING? I don’t care what I’m looking at, so long as it’s bright light with lots of chanting pixels.

Ok then, I suppose I’ll go to bed. 1:14AM. That’s not that bad, compared to how I used to be. I used to go to sleep at 4AM, after 4+ hours of mindless clicking away on the computer.

Oh wait, I suppose that’s the same as now. I have been mindlessly clicking on the computer since 11PM. So I suppose I’m doing 1 hour better than the past. Pretty good I guess, but it seems like it’s just a schedule drift. Nah, I gotta give myself credit. I don’t do this mindless activity that much anymore. When I do it, I’m just so surprised at how pointless it is.

I had so much fun earlier in the night that I just want to keep the fun going. That’s not how it works though. The fun, when overexperienced, becomes draining. I become tired and no longer responsible with my actions. I become so drunk and mentally asleep to the point where I make bad decisions. Decisions that will leave me groggy and hung over in the morning. Decisions that earn me nothing but anger and frustration.

I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist. I’m simply drowning myself in a vat of melatonin infused dopamine. Those are just the two brain chemicals that I know about, LOL.

Hmm. I’m aware of what is happening right now. Overall, I’m doing better than I was just 6 months ago. I don’t do this often. I don’t overindulge often. I am productive and healthy and I am becoming more mindful of myself than ever before.

Right now, I am going to be kind to myself. I’m going to tuck myself into bed and get some much needed sleep.

shutdown -hP 5

I slept well. I woke up at 7:30. I went out and walked 20 laps around the firepit. K. was wondering how much of a distance that was, so I used OpenTracks on my phone to find out. 3.8km (2.36 miles) for those 20 laps.

I felt pretty hung over. I was talking aloud to myself and making jokes while I walked. I felt really dehydrated.

9:48AM. I placed some sniper bids on some trading card sleeves via Buyee. Again from my favorite seller, yuyu_6539.

It’s about time for the Seattle Betsuin Buddhist Temple live stream. Well, they’re not really live-streaming, they’re just premiering a pre-recorded service. That’s probably a lot easier to produce than a livestream, and it’s a really good idea to keep things all queued up and on schedule. Plus they have the sutra chanting words on-screen which makes following along very easy.

I had a new idea for when I am up late and having trouble getting off the computer. I’m simply going to recognize when it happens, and drink two large glasses of water.

I got this idea while I walked this morning. I realized that I didn’t drink enough water during dinner. I didn’t drink enough water after dinner either. Finally, I didn’t drink enough water in the morning, which left me feeling drunk as my brain became further dehydrated from walking and sweating.

So now I’m going to have two full glasses of water when I feel like my addiction is taking over. I think the hydration will give my logical brain a chance to retake control and head to bed. Simply getting up from the computer and walking over to the sink to fill up my glass might be all it takes for me to be mindful and take care of myself.

Sometimes I think to myself what I would do if I became a billionare. The main thing I think of is implementing some of the business ideas from my plethora of business ideas.

  • Cyber/Manga cafe with high-end gaming PCs and private booths
  • Japanese style karaoke center
  • Bitcoin ATM
  • Software development studio which creates…
    • eBay listing tools
    • virtual board games for (I’d first port Robo Rally)
  • A non-profit hackerspace
    • WordPress classes
    • Linux classes
    • Bitcoin classes

I took a nap. Now I want to get my laundry started but I’m procrastinating. Oh, I’m procrastinating? Lemme go ahead and stop procrastinating.

Ok then! laundry in the machine. Dried chickpeas in the instantpot. I am trying the mixed grains button on my instantpot for dried chickpeas.

None of the smart programs have a 1:4 grain to liquid ratio. Most the preparation instructions I’ve found for chickpeas say 1:4 chickpea to water ratio. Oatmeal is the closest at 1:3, and mixed grains and brown rice come in second at 1:2.

It’s an experiment! Will mixed grains give me a good result? If not, I can try oatmeal next time. I went with mixed grains because it had a longer cooking time than oatmeal. Mixed grains does 40 – 90 minutes, whereas oatmeal does 20-60 minutes.

I’m skeptical that this will work at all. 90 minutes doesn’t seem long enough, because most guides say a several hour soak period is needed. Fingers crossed! It would be nice it works. Re-hydrated chickpeas in 90 minutes seems excellent to me!

I’m uploading a video to my blog out of spite. I get triggered when content creators say things like, “do no re-upload without permission.” This probably deserves it’s own article on my reasons for disliking that. The bottom line is that I think it’s a way to prevent their ideas from spreading. It’s as if they hate their creation and want to keep it to themselves.

I’m uploading it here specifically because the person said, “don’t re-upload” because I detest the idea of intellectual property. I think it’s ridiculous given how computers work. Their content is literally getting copied hundreds of times every time someone even views the video, in the routers and switches which are transmitting the content.

It’s hypocritical to share on the internet, then demand that it not be re-shared. Don’t re-upload without permission implies that you don’t want people to make your video into a meme, you don’t approve of your idea to discussed beyond what you can see, and you don’t think people have a right to upload the memory of the video into their brains.

Either keep it to yourself or don’t! Once you upload it, you just shared. The thing is beyond you and it’s no longer in your control. By saying, “don’t re-upload without permission,” It’s like you aren’t aware that the idea has left your head. It’s like you aren’t aware that art copies art. It’s like you aren’t aware of all the dozens of ideas you compiled together from other creators just like you, which culminated into this thing you just uploaded.

Do you hate your creation? Do you want to limit it’s reach? Or do you think that as the creator, you’re the only one allowed to enjoy it? Why are you sharing again?

Look at this painting. I bet you already know the name of it. Think about the artist. Do you think they shared the painting, then made up some bullshit demand such as, “do not re-produce.”

I doubt it.

Imagine for a second that da Vinci had made such a demand. Imagine for another second that people had respected that demand. Every single image of the Mona Lisa on the interned would not exist, because people are being good decent people and respecting the artist’s demands. Now, if you haven’t seen the Mona Lisa in person in Paris, you simply don’t get to see the Mona Lisa.

It’s bullshit! That demand is bullshit! I’m going to copy your art if I deem it worth copying. I’m going to completely ignore your bullshit demands and I’m going to rip the video from youtube, and re-upload it wherever the fuck I want.

If you have any good sense, realize that your shit is getting copied because it’s good. Congrats, you’ve made it as a creator. Your shit is good and people appreciate it. People in 2020 are digital hoarders. Pinterest is a great example of digital hoarding. I’m a digital hoarder who collects good VOCALOID videos. Copying is a compliment.

As a content consumer, my relationship with your content can go two ways.

Thank you for sharing your works! I’m clicking away because I don’t like it.


Thank you for sharing your works! I’m making a copy to preserve this work because I LOVE IT!

Well now I’m all grumpy. I got all worked up about artists demanding that their works not be shared, and now I’m in a funk.

Maybe I’m in a funk because it’s 78 degrees Fahrenheit in my apartment. Maybe I should crack a window or install my window AC unit.

I think I got some sort of rash on my head. Maybe I’ve been rubbing my head too much. Maybe I got a burn from bowing my head at the campfire as a way to prevent the hot flames from cooking my face.

That was a good campfire!

Oh, maybe I’m malnourished. I definitely need to restock my groceries. It’s probably not going to happen until Wednesday because I have a Zoom call with my therapist tomorrow morning. Tuesday morning is a no-go because that’s the designated shopping time for seniors.

Oh yeah, I probably am just going to wait till next week, because my food stamps are all used up. The money I have right now is already budgeted towards either inventory acquisitions, or rent.

I’m not going to starve or anything. I have plenty of pasta, rice, beans, spices and oils. I even have lots of nuts and dried fruit. The staples I’m out of are peanut butter, tomatos, potatos, and carrots. Maybe I’ll shuffle some money around so I can get some more peanut butter to go with my matzah. Or maybe not. Being frugal means avoiding shopping for things that aren’t necessary. I’ll make it through till next week no problem, it’s just not going to be very flavorful.

The instant-pot fails at cooking the garbanzo beans. They got a little softened, but they turned out chalky, as seems to be the fate of my garbanzo bean cooking experience.

Oh, this woman says 3 cups of water per bean. And baking soda, oohhh! There’s lots of simmering and boiling going on for these instructions. I’ll figure this out one way or another!

I cooked my beans twice on the multi-grain setting. It’s a little better now. The flavor is finally starting to show up, and it’s a little softer, but still nowhere near as soft as beans that come from a can. Time to soak for 1-2 hours, as per the instructions!

19. My confidence is beautiful.
20. I am imperfect but I’m still perfectly me.
21. My smile can make anyone feel better.

I’m grateful for youtube tuts because they are enlightening

I’m grateful for naps because they are refreshing.

I’m grateful for hair because it is protective.

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