Sun May 17 2020

maiz, tortilla, food

I wanna skip journaling today and jump into my latest project. LOL, I took on another project. That doesn’t mean I will have more projects to show off… It means I will have more abandoned projects, because the other ones I was working on are now abandoned!

Oh well. I enjoy the process, not the end result.

I might have written about this already. IDK. The idea is to make a service which takes an MP3, converts it to a casette, and mails it to you. Pretty cool, huh?

It probably already exists, but I want to automate the shit outta it. Step 1 is no interaction between the customer and I. They don’t have to send an e-mail with their mp3, they don’t have to call. They simply fill out a web form, upload their MP3, and submit electronic payment.

Once I got the work order, I grab a blank cassette from a a stack, pop it in a tape recorder connected to my PC, record the audio, then ship it out to the mailing address on file.

I’ve had the idea for awhile now. I figure old styles come back from time to time. Retro tech becomes cool again. In times of chaos and mass surveillance, simplicity can be welcoming.

The thing that inspired me to get started on this project is when I saw xp.css pop up on HackerNews. It’s so cool to see Windows XP styles in the browser!

I started on the website last night as I started watching Better Call Saul season 3. I made a simple address form so far.

I was thinking about it some more this morning, and I came up with the idea to create a website which is reminiscent of an InstallShield workflow.

The user will Input details, click next. Upload MP3, click next. Submit payment, click next.

I figure that I’ll probably abandon this project, just like 99% of the projects I start. It’s that reason that I haven’t made any financial investments in this project yet. No VPS. No domain. No tape recorder.

If I happen to get the software implemented which would support this service idea, then I will take the next step. But not before then! I’ve made that mistake far too many times.

First thing is first, in the multi-step process of creating an app.

I figure first thing is to build a solid client-facing app. If it isn’t something I could expect my mother to use, I’m not going to move onto the next step. I might as well abandon the project if I can’t get it to that point.

I start all projects because I have an itch that needs scratching. There’s usually some sort of unfamiliar technology that piques my interest. I’ll end up creating an app around that technology, implementing an idea as I learn.

The technology I want to work with in this case is Ethereum. I don’t want to get into the sticky territory of credit card payments. I know I could use Stripe or Square and it would be easy peasy, but I honestly don’t care to accept USD.

I am so over USD. It’s a trash cash that persistently diminishes in value. I have lost all faith that holding USD is a good idea.


This meme is an exaggeration, but the concept is real. I’ve lived it. I started Bitcoin in 2015 or sometime around there? I bought a tiny amount of Bitcoin, and in 2017 I had enough to live off for several months. 2017 was a wild year for Bitcoin. It’s been called the, “black swan event” by some investors. Black swan because it’s so rare. It probably won’t happen again.

The deflation will never stop though. That’s part of Bitcoin’s design.

I might just be drinking the Bitcoin coolaid. I still don’t understand a lot of technical aspects of the protocol. I’ve been putting off reading Mastering Bitcoin!

Anyway, I put a lot of faith in Bitcoin because I think an internet native currency is the future. I want a money that’s decoupled from government. I want it and a lot of other people want it.

aruko-ru is one way to say, “alcohol” in Japanese. アルコール。I’m triggered by how silly some Japanese English is.

I’m just not feeling so great today. I went out for a walk this morning and I was lost in dark thoughts. I suppose I’m feeling the effects of caloric restriction. I have not been eating very well, and my diet the past two days has been mostly nuts and fruit. Lots of salt, too.

Things won’t always be this way. I’m experiencing a low point, but the pressure I feel to make rent, paired with the sinking feeling that I get when I look at my finances, is just what I need to get a fire lit under my ass, and create the future I’ve dreamed of.

I just read a parable from A TEACHING A DAY about a wealthy, foolish man who rushed his carpenter to build a three story house just like his neighbor had. The wealthy foolish man berated the carpenter for building a strong foundation and a sturdy first and second floor. That’s not what he wanted, he wanted a three story mansion built right away! He had no regard for the steps needed for such a building.

“No good can be obtained without proper effort.”

The Teaching of Buddha — Day 21

This parable can be applied to life in many ways. I immediately think of all the software projects I take on. This most recent one, I’m skipping setting up a Git repository or writing unit tests. I figure as a solo dev, I have to take shortcuts or I’ll never have the momentum to actually finish and release the product.

My brain is too tired to make a comparison, and deeply reflect. I’m taking it easy today! I need a break.

There are people who make a living from practicing religion. Ministers, for example. That seems like a really difficult job, because it depends on so many followers who are willing to give you money.

I bailed from Sangha service this morning. I got triggered by some old reverend who spoke just the same way as old men in authoritative positions in the mormon church.

It’s all the same. Same shit in Jodo Shin Shu buddhism as it is in Mormonism. Be a good person. Be kind and compassionate. Life wisely. Serve others. Respect church leaders. Respect elders. Praise the people who started the religion. Live correctly.

It’s all the same story, just packaged a little differently. I’m so turned off to any and all religion that follows this cliché.

I think I’m going to deviate from Jodo Shin Shu buddhism at this point. I think I’ve seen enough to realize that it’s no different than any other religion.

I’m going to have to blaze my own spiritual path. I think I will stay grounded in Buddhism, but I’m not following some asshole who started a religion. I might even attend Sangha service in the future. I appreciate the aspects of community and group meditation. I don’t appreciate worship of some fuckhead who started a movement.

Wait a minute, isn’t that what I’m doing right now with Mr. Elon Musk?


It doesn’t feel the same. Or maybe it doesn’t feel the same because I care about what Elon is doing, but I don’t care about some religious figurehead shmuck who lived 800+ years ago who gets celebrated every year around this time.

I think my relationship with religion is forever damaged because of my upbringing.

I wonder if religion can be a good thing?

I have a hard time accepting that. Religion is so degrading and repulsive to me.

I took a short nap. As I slept, I thought I was at my computer. I could even feel my mouse in my hand. That feeling of a mouse in my hand was my hand on my thigh. LOL.

I awoke to the sound of alerting me to a load of washed laundry.

I went to the parent’s basement and cycled my laundry. Afterwards I noticed how nice the day was. Sunny. There was a cool breeze but it’s still T-shirt weather. I decided to walk some more, since this morning I only had 30 minutes to walk before I attended virtual Sangha service at 10.

I saw people outside. Probably mom and dad. I turned around and went back inside.

I’m not on their frequency and I don’t want to be on it. I don’t want to say hi and/or wave. I want to join a different family, or have none at all.

That’s not accurate. I’m just in a shitty mood. I think I’m malnourished. I think I’m sleepy either because I’m starving, or I ate too much and my body is trying to recover. I feel pretty bloated right now. I’m not used to eating so much nuts and fruit.

I’m cooking some garbanzo beans. in 4 hours they should be ready. I’m not really looking forward to it. All I’ve got is some thai peanut sauce and spices to put on it. I’m out of tomato sauce, coconut milk, potatos and carrots which would make a decent meal.

Whatevs. whatevs. I’m just having a bad period of time, but things will get better. I’ll find the joy in socializing, eventually. I’ll re-learn it over and over again if I have to. I’ll find a good balance sooner or later.

I’m hung over from something. The stress of coding, probably. I could have gone to bed a lot earlier and I’d wake up feeling better.


The Gods Must be Crazy

I’m hungery. I want a Taco Bell soft taco fresco style with black beans instead of beef.

I want two orders of fiesta potatos and two fresco bean burritos with red strips.

I want to shove those fiesta potatos into the bean burritos for a delicious, crunchy, chewy, savory meal. I want to take the leftover potatos and eat them one by one as I drive home.

I want those stupid cinnamon twirls that are like the shittiest version of churros to ever exist.

I want VOLCANO SAUCE on the side with which to dip my burrito in.

If I ever get a death sentence, I want my last meal to be Taco Bell. I don’t think anybody understands just how much I love my T-bell. They nailed flavor and palatability more than any other restaurant I’ve been to.

Maybe it has to do with my teenage years. I had a group of rebellious friends who would routinely pick me up and we’d go splurge at T-Bell. My sister K. and I would save our pennies in what we called a “T-bell fund.”

We’d imagine getting rich off of multi level marketing schemes and being so wealthy to the point where we could buy bean burritos by the case just to do bean burrito drivebys. We fantasized about throwing them at people from our moving car and making an exploded diaper-like mess on random people’s faces. They might just thank us for the free meal!

The days when we were young and excited. Those are the days that Taco Bell reminds me of. I’ve never been able to relate to people who frown on Taco Bell for whatever reason. Taco Bell is my sanctuary!

There we go. I think I’m discovering my spirituality. Maybe I could form a religion around Taco Bell? I’d do it for free if it meant free meals!

LOL, I jest about the religion, but perhaps not about spirit.

I ran away once or twice when I was younger. I always ended up eating by myself at Taco Bell.

Taco Bell became a regular place for me to dine after airsoft games with friends. The meal topped off the day, and I fondly remember those times.

I need friends I dine with. Friends who’s presence put me at ease and I’m happy to be around.

Perhaps that’s a new goal.

37. I can make a difference.
38. My past does not define my future, I do.
39. My life is filled with possibility.

I’m grateful for the rice and beans that I have. I’m grateful for vegan cookies, cakes, and brownies. I’m grateful for fried tofu and seasonings.

I’m grateful for paper and pencil. I’m grateful that words are mightier than swords.

I’m grateful for optical data transfer. I’m grateful that lasers are capable of carrying data, and that Starlink is such a kickass company to be sharing high speed internet with the world.


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