I went walking outside and it was nice. I did some meditation and got into a mind space where I was observing without judgement. I think doing so triggered a reset in my brain, because after I resumed walking I noticed things around me as if I were seeing them…
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6:41 AM. Just walked two outgoing packages to the mailbox. Sewing machine accessories that I bought from UGM thrift store in Jan or Feb. I spent like $30 on a handful of sewing machine parts and I went through and listed them individually on eBay. I think I’m making a…
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仕事。Blogging is working. Working is blogging. But is it really? I suppose it can be, if the act of publishing and gaining readers is something that can be monetized. The way I’m doing things right now, it’s not monetization. I don’t publish! Well, I schedule my writings to be published,…
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Group therapy is cancelled. Individual therapy is changed to phone-only, as FBH is closing their doors to the public. Wild shit. Is COVID-19 really this bad? There have been 18 corona viruses before it, but somehow #19 is this huge threat? I don’t understand. I wonder if this is an…
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9:48AM. There’s a big truck outside my window which I believe has an industrial wood chipper. It’s making a ton of noise and the house shakes. Every now and then I hear a chainsaw. My dad must have got a crew to come take care of the diseased trees. Apparently…
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I missed CoDA. I slept through it. I woke up at midnight and I didn’t know the time, so I told myself, “If I can make it to CoDA, I’m going to CoDA.” Nope. Lol. Not too worried about it. 2:49 AM. So far this morning, I have read out…
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I went to therapy this morning. It was very productive. I read aloud a letter I had written to my father. It was an uncomfortable experience reading this personal letter. I was nervous reading it. Am I reading too fast? I’m definitely reading too fast. I should slow down. I’m…
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1:27PM. My couch is very uncomfortable to sleep on. I never feel rested but I also never wake up feeling super tired… I wake up with this feeling that I’m just ready to go. I’m concerned that I’m not hitting rem sleep or something, but I am definitely having dreams…
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I didn’t go to Sangha Service. I had a chance to wake up and go, but only with 3 hours of sleep under my belt. I decided to sleep. I’ll have another chance next week to attend! It’s 1:30PM. A. brought me her Co-dependents anonymous book. I’ll put it to…
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Bad sleep schedule! I wrote about it yesterday a bit. Slept during the evening. Woke up and went HAM on the eBay listings. Got all caught up. Now I wanna go to sleep but I really need to run these 3 bubble mailers to the mailbox before I crash. I…
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I think I’ve made a connection which has informed me on exactly why I sometimes wake up completely exhausted. It’s food. I was snacking on trail mix and raisins last night just about an hour or two before bed. That food in my stomach made it almost impossible for me…
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