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Thu May 28 2020
Polkadot launched today. I watched this entire video and I still don’t know what I can do with it or why I should care. It’s a well produced video and evokes feelings of awe and inspiration, but I’m not seeing any meat and potatos content which actually tells me what Polkadot is. Just another blockchain. […]
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Sat Apr 18 2020
I’m avoiding my feelings again. My dad and R. are out back, doing cleanup and removing the sand bag bunkers. I went outside to take the mail to the box and my dad sad, “hi”. I nervously said, “hi” in return, simply copying what my dad said. I always do that. I don’t speak unless […]
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Thu Apr 16 2020
10:58 PM. Just woke up. Sleep schedule is becoming rather humorous! Whatevs, it’s a crazy time right now and I really only have two scheduled events per week that I want to be on time for. That’s my call with my therapist and my video game session on tuesday or wednesday. This week I showed […]
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Fri Mar 6 2020
Ok the past few days have been sub 2000 words and it’s no big deal. I deserve a break and I deserve self-care and I deserve to be well and happy. Actually I don’t want to be happy all the time. It’s something I’ve thought about quite a bit. If I were happy all the […]
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Wed Mar 4 2020
Yesterday started off so well, but ended up being one of my worst days in many weeks. The contemplation of suicide returned. I missed CoDA. I missed video games with Matt. I was so angry and lonely. The thought of being around people was unacceptable, because I would only come across as angry. People stay […]
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Thu Feb 27 2020
I slept through video game time again. I woke up at 1AM. One hour later than yesterday. See what I mean? I can’t help my schedule drift. It drifts about 1 hour a day which means every 12 days my schedule is completely backwards. Perhaps it’s because I’m too sedentary. Even though I have been […]