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Wed Jun 10 2020
I forgot to write today. Err, yesterday. I still consider this a Tuesday log because it’s … Nah it’s just a Wednesday post. It’s 12:07AM. Just got off Squad with Save. Had 2 good rounds and 1 really bad one on Narva. A bummer ending to the night, but we had a really great Talil […]
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Wed May 13 2020
I had bad dreams. I was getting bitten by my angry adopted dog, I was attacked by demonic ghosts, and I saw Mr. Beast & crew rot away from illness. It was very disturbing and scary. On top of all that, the woman I returned the biting dog to was trying to have sex with […]
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Tue Apr 7 2020
Great progress on the encore-more project this morning. I don’t think I had named the project yesterday when I came up with the idea, so I suppose I should explain it. I purchased Tabletop Simulator on Sunday, so I can take part in Nerds United virtual board game meetup this Saturday. There’s a Weiss Schwarz […]
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Mon Mar 16 2020
I’m angry. The internet is down. COVID-19 has struck fear into the hearts and minds of everyone. Public meetings of over 10 people are banned in Washington for the next 2 weeks by order of the governor. No bars, no entertainment, no saturday board games, no church, no school, no library. Only essential stores like […]
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Wed Feb 19 2020
My therapist took me on as my CoDA “pseudo sponsor” until the time when I find a sponsor of my own. Last Friday she gave me a list of questions which I am supposed to ponder on and answer at our next meeting, this Friday at 9:30AM. The questions are as follows. What is the […]
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Tue Feb 11 2020
The best way out is always through Robert Frost I’m feeling this quote right about now! My checking account is down to $100, and my Paypal account down to $400. It feels a little like the time I lived in Eugene, where I was feeling the weight of living alone on my shoulders. I was […]
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Fri Jan 3 2020 @ 2:34 AM
I’m trying to write a letter to my dad, but I’m struggling. I’m holding back shit. I’m not writing what is on my mind. I’m censoring myself. What I want to say is that work is not important to me. I’d rather be kicked out than work for him any more. Not that the work […]
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Tue Dec 17 2019 @ 12:06 PM
I’m at the clinic today. My past self must have wanted me to be on time because I put down 9am in my calendar. My appointment is at 9:40, not 9! But it’s okay. I have paper and a pen so I can write until my appointment. The woman at the front counter doesn’t seem […]
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Fri Dec 6 2019 4:00 AM PST
The presence of my parents makes me insecure When I talk to my parents, I feel inhibited. They don’t want to hear me speak my mind. I feel inferior. I am their subject. I feel shame. I am dependent on them. I feel anxious. I am afraid I would say something that would make my […]