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Thu Mar 12 2020
Greetings and salutations. Last night, I started to play Squad but then I got peer pressured into being commander and I got overwhelmed and stressed out and I couldn’t handle the pressure or the need to give orders. I hit Alt+F4 and turned off my PC and went to bed. I was bummed out but […]
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Sat Feb 8 2020
I’m at Dragon’s Parlor Games. I’m waiting for my friends to finish playing their game before we play Mahjong. I’m freaking out. I dunno why. I always freak out when I coming here. The prompting event is that I’m in a room full of people. The interpretation is that I’m in danger. The urge is […]
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Thu Jan 30 2020
2:22PM. My schedule is drifting. I’m sad about this. Very sad. Last night my dad texted me and asked for help moving some furniture. My mood went south. I couldn’t focus anymore. This was the moment I’ve been anticipating for the past several weeks, the moment where my dad would come to me with a […]
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Mon Jan 13 2020
3:03PM. I dropped off 6 packages at FedEx, 4 at USPS. Then I went thrift shopping. I acquired 8 items. I plan on listing them all today. Next I did 20 laps around the firepit and did 20 pushups. I also did some axe throwing. Tired 5. I was thinking while I was driving that […]
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Sun Jan 12 2020
I feel insatiable 10. I’m getting high so high. Old habits. This will drive me straight into depression if I keep this up. It’s 4:51 AM. I spent the last 7 hours doing bullshit that I didn’t need to do. I could have gone to sleep at 9PM when I was tired. Instead I’ve been […]
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Sat Jan 11 2020
All I wanna do today is eat and fuck and sleep. And I’m not even doing so good at that much. I woke up around 7 and let the dogs out. Then I went back to sleep. Then I woke up 3 hours later and let the dogs out again. I did my exercises as […]
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Fri Jan 10 2020
I don’t even want to journal today because I’m so sleepy. This is getting so dumb, every day I’m just so goddamn tired. I think 6 days out of 7, I seem to have shitty quality sleep. I wake up numerous times. I toss and turn. The dogs are making things even more difficult. I […]
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Sat Jan 4 2020 @ 7:34 AM
Hey, my alarm actually went off this morning! Very cool indeed. Unfortunately, I feel like going straight back to bed! The wind is going crazy outside. I kept hearing things getting knocked over during the night. I kept thinking a tree was going to snap and fall on my apartment. Oh no, I bet the […]
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Fri Jan 3 2020 @ 2:34 AM
I’m trying to write a letter to my dad, but I’m struggling. I’m holding back shit. I’m not writing what is on my mind. I’m censoring myself. What I want to say is that work is not important to me. I’d rather be kicked out than work for him any more. Not that the work […]
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Thu Dec 12 11:11 AM PST
I had some really nice dreams last night. In the first dream, I was young and in middle school. I was walking home when I saw a girl struggling with something. I can’t remember exactly what it was. She dropped her book bag maybe. I stopped and offered to help. She said thanks and we […]
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Wed Dec 11 2019 @ 9:12 AM PST
I’m supposed to be in counseling right now. I left the house about 10 minutes before 9 and the first thing I realized when I opened the door was that four inches of snow had fallen. “This is not good.” I quickly got the engine started in my suburban and I brushed a layer of […]