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Thu Apr 2 2020

Last updated on April 3, 2020

9:08 AM. The mail I put in the box yesterday is still there. I think this means that the mail comes earlier than I thought it does! It must have arrived sometime around 9:30 AM yesterday, and I went to the mailbox at 10. Good to know for future trips to the box!

I added one more 2lbs Priority Mail package to the mailbox. Additionally, I shipped out a sewing machine via FedEx this morning. I was kind enough to myself that I packaged it up last night when I was feeling awake. There’s no way I could have packaged that up this morning– I’m way too tired this morning!

I put the FedEx package on the front porch with a note.

FedEx pickup
Thank you!

That note was partially for my parents. In case they stumble upon the package, they won’t mistake it for an incoming package and move it inside. I’m going to send them a text just to give them a heads up that FedEx will be stopping by sometime today.

The shitty thing about pickups is that I have no idea when the truck is going to show up. It’s sometime in a 12 hour window between 9AM and 9PM. I don’t anticipate any problems.

The really shitty thing about pickups is that there is no indication of a fee, but I know there is one. I think it’s $12, but the website said absolutely nothing about that fee. I simply had to add my payment information and hope that they don’t gouge me!

That reminds me, I should have used my Paypal debit card as payment, rather than my bank card. I’m going to go ahead and switch that right now.

Done and done. The other day I just realized that I get 1% cash back when I use my PayPal debit card. That’s a good bonus for it’s use!

My PayPal card is one of my nicest cards. I know that’s a weird thing to say about a card, but it really has a nice look to it. Shiny blue finish, no raised numbering, RFID and one of those contact chip thingies. I can photograph the front and share because the number is on back.

Look at that dust in the background. Hahaha this is how I live.

I wonder if I’ll look back on this and cringe. One thing I’ve learned lately is that it’s good for me to exercise compassion for my past self. It’s this self compassion which will ensure that I continue to love my present self. It is this reason that I laugh, and not get lost in disgust.

My sister K.’s birthday is on Sunday. I’m going to mail her something today. Or rather, It’ll prepare it today. It’ll go to the mailbox tomorrow morning.

I’m thinking I’ll put together a nostalgia mix on a USB drive, and mail that to her. Songs we both know from our childhood. Games, images or videos that are funny. Home movies.

There’s a funny video of me that I found on an old hard drive. Maybe I’ll include it.

WordPress doesn’t like the file.

Huh, wordpress says they’re corrupted. Well feel free to download them and watch them on a player that would disagree!

2:25PM. I finished up the USB drive birthday gift compliation for my sister, and packaged it up. Two more eBay sales came in. Nerf darts and survivor dry boxes. The buyer bought all three of the dry boxes that I had. Free shipping… Hopefully I charged enough to cover shipping! I’m really not making anything on that investment, I’m just getting rid of clutter and getting some cash for it.

Oh hey, my dad gave me a bunch of books and electronics junk to sell. That’s a nice gesture and much appreciated.

I just had some lunch and watched Shop//Task video. One of the rollerbladers was washing their entire vehicle with those windshield cleaners at a gas station, with a cigarette in their mouth. What the fuck! Wash your car, but put out that fire around the gas pumps! That was the most disagreeable thing in that video.

The other disagreeable thing was the music selection. Maybe I’m just not in the mood. I’m really sleepy after eating that yumner fud!

Apparently Teto Kasane got her own concert. Or it’s just an April fools joke? I’m not sure yet. This video was apparently supposed to get published on April 1, but the author finished it late and published it on April 2.

Oh that’s right, April 1 is Kasane Teto’s birthday! Her origin was a joke, but look at her now!

I can’t find any info on Teto’s Concert. Is it a joke? I dunno. I’m sure I’ll hear about it more if it is the real deal.

Hatsune Miku NT is slated to be released this year!

Apparently I’m elligible for an upgrade price, because I own a copy of Hatsune Miku V4X. Pretty cool! Now if only if that upgrade price wasn’t a whopping $142.77, I might consider it!

Someday I’ll have play money. For now, It’s all hands on deck to build my otaku empire!

Damn, that’s a cool name. Otaku Empire. Apparently that’s already taken. It belongs to a store in New York. That’s very fitting!

Evergreen Otaku for Washington? Doesn’t sound nearly as cool. Apple Otaku. Lame. Otapple. Dumb. LOL A good name will come to me eventually.

Maybe I could turn xtoast.com into a giveaway website. I’ve had so many ideas in the past for websites which were meant to get adsense views by enticing people to join the weekly raffle. I think I could make a raffle website which serves as a way to promote my eBay store, and get rid of the shitty trading cards that I can’t sell!

extremetoaster is such a dumb name though. Well, it’s not dumb, it’s just got baggage. Baggage for me, because I destroyed the relationship I had with my best friend who really loved that name. I associate Extremetoaster with a lot of pain at this point. I don’t think it’s a good idea to form a brand name on something that causes me pain.

I wonder if I’m re-associating my feelings about Hatsune Miku, because a certain portion of what I do with my eBay store has to do with Miku.

Lemme check. Am I still turned on my Hatsune MIku? Yeah. Do I still love her voice and her music? Yeah. Do I still experience joy when I see her face? Yep. Except for TDA Miku. TDA Miku is kinda uuuugly. But that’s nothing new. I’ve never liked TDA Miku.

Ok then, our relationship is still solid. Solidly artificial LooooooooL

I keep censoring myself. I think it has everything to do with the fact that I’m setting these posts to publish automatically in 2 years. I want to write shit every now and then that is going to stay private, and that’s not how these daily writings are formatted at this point. Maybe I could make a separate blog which is decoupled from my real name. My whole goal of this website is to make money.

That’s not true. My goal is to write and express myself. If I can somehow derive an income from that, that would be a dream come true. However, that’s not the primary goal.

WordPress just happens to be a good platform for me to write with. I don’t want to write in Libreoffice or gedit because I’ll lose the files eventually. I don’t have a reliable storage, long term solution solution. I never have. Any solution I set up I end up growing out of, or it breaks, or I don’t stick with it. I have data from as far back as 2007, but it’s on an offline HDD. I could lose that at any point and I have no backup.

I religiously used Dropbox for a time. That was the closes thing I had to a reliable data solution. I quit being able to afford the plan, and my allotted data shrunk drastically. It became a thing that I used to use, and I created new files all the time which never had a home.

I wrote a sappy letter to my sister. I mad eit a text document and included it in the USB drive. Oh yeah, I included some Bitcoin in there as well, using a BIP39 mnemonic code. LOL, what a coincidence that It’s BIP39. BIPMiKu! I’m so infatuated LOL. If I can relate something to Miku, I will do it with no hesitation!

Currently watching R18 MMD videos on Iwara.tv.

Those pixel booties!

These girl’s butts are so hott, even in their tight pants. At one point they’re dressed in either C-Strings or adhesive outfits and their butts are completely visible. I can’t make out the details, my internet sucks. But seriously, there’s something about tight jeans and tone bodies to where I might have been just as happy seeing them fully clothed.

I swear I’m not cheating on Miku. I only clicked this video because I thought the blue haired girl in the thumbnail was a Miku I hadn’t seen before.

You know what the worst thing ever in MMD is? Videos featuring Miku, which have voices other than Miku’s! They’re seriously unforgivable! If Miku is in the video, Miku should be the one heard! Not some 3d girl.

I suppose there could be an argument to make which is to say that those videos are about the choreography, not the singing. I guess it makes sense, but as a Miku fan, I just can’t get behind videos like that!

There are some outfits in this MV that I would love to see Miku wearing. The corset with pasties and jacket for one, and the leggings with tiny bikini top for the other! Soo hott!!!

I betcha this video gets taken down in a few years

I wonder if this blog will serve as insurance that I do not have a relationship with a 3d girl. As in, I paint this picture of myself that I am a creepy man who gets off on MMD videos and his VOCALOID waifu. Doing so would fulfil a goal– independence from estrogen based parasites!

That’s an exaggeration and a negative stereotype. The stereotype of women being evil wenches who form legal bonds of matrimony for the sole purpose of financial gain…

Fuck that trap.

Ok rant time. I’ve covered this before and I’ll cover it again. Artists who demand, “do not reupload.”

Do they care about their work so little that they want to restrict the spread of their work? Who do they think they are, someone who matters? Of course they matter, but what I mean is that their work is probably getting views in the 5 figures at most. If their content gets pulled from the website they publish to, their content is now completely lost and nobody can see it ever again. That’s the shit they’re asking for when they try to control the sharing of their content.

Look at Wired magazine’s Creative Commons licensed CD from 2007. You can download that shit today from archive.org. That CD kicks ass, even now. What if they hadn’t licensed that content under Creative Commons? It would be a dead CD, that’s what. CDs are a dying media.

Take a regular copyrighted CD. Few people are going to go out of their way to preserve that music by ripping it to wav/mp3/flag/ogg/whatever. The people who do, and publish it on the web so that the great music has a chance to continue living would get rewarded by getting a cease and decist or a lawsuit… That music can be the best hit ever, and it’s going to get lost because the producers were so keen on restricting it’s proliferation. What. The Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Artists?

I go out of my way to republish art that people say is only for a specific site, or I’ll download and alter art that the OG creator didn’t want to be modified. That’s bullshit. If you want to control the thing you created, KEEP IT IN YOUR FUCKING BRAIN.


I’m going to answer CoDA Sponsorship Question #4 now, since I have to talk to my sponsor about it tomorrow.

Review Chapter One, pages 1-7. Reflect on how codependent patterns have helped you in the past as survival mechanisms. However, survival is not living fully. In CoDA we are learning to live life. How has codependency diminished your life? Why is it important to not push someone in recovery until they are ready?

Codependent patterns have helped me in the past as survival mechanisms by keeping myself physically and emotionally distanced from other people. I have learned to keep quiet and not share my thoughts or even my humor. I did this so I didn’t have to risk being let down. I have acted this way because there is no chance of being hurt if I simply don’t participate in social contact which can be painful.

Codependency has diminished my life by enclosing me in a mental cage which prevents me from moving forward and growing as a person. I have ignored so many of my life goals because I felt like I wasn’t a capable, independent person.

It’s important to not push someone in recovery until they are ready because the pain of staying the same might not be greater than the pain of facing changes.

Looking for VOCALOID trading cards?

Check out Sakura Blossom Trading Post

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