Thu Jan 14 2021

I’m fasting today. My goal is to break the fast at sundown. All I’ve had today is water and a few sips of black tea. So far so good. 12:53 PM. I’ve had a few urges to eat so far.

Nutrition group is today at 2PM. I intend to make it.

This morning I had one order. I took it to the mailbox, then walked outside for an hour. Then I showered and shaved. I didn’t shower yesterday so I was feeling pretty gross.

Yesterday I finished watching Ironmouse’s 7 hour birthday stream. Wow such a great time. I envy Ironmouse a bit… She has so many close friends and they are all vocal with their feelings. “I love you” is shared often.

I can get that too, I think. It will just take a certain amount of my obsessive compulsive personality to attach to the idea of making close friends.

I think the podcast is a great start. Having a goal to have 100 conversations with people is a great start indeed!

I talked to my brother M. on the phone today. He said his e-mail isn’t working, and it’s the e-mail associated with the domain.

That e-mail is handled by GSuite or whatever it’s called now. I contacted support, and found out that I’m not eligible for support because it was a legacy free account.

So basically I’m stuck with the automated recovery options, which requires that I have access to the phone number on the account. I don’t have access to that phone number.

So… I’m kinda fucked. I might have that password floating around in an old keepass database file, but I’m not sure where I would even look..

Cancel that. I definitely know where I can start to look. I can look through the piles of old hard drives I have. That’s the only place it could be. I just said I didn’t know where to look because I actually don’t want to look. It’s going to be arduous and annoying to look through those old HDDs, swapping them out in my USB HDD dock one by one, searching for .kdbx or whatever extension keepass uses…

Then I have to actually get into the database. Holy shit, I bet I’ve forgot the master password to my old databases!

Passwords are stupid!

I have this problem from time to time. I think most people have this problem from time to time, especially if they use multiple passwords, as is the recommended approach in computer science.

Yikes. Well, the only reason I need to get into that admin account is because my brother wants to migrate to a personal GMail account, but in order to do that, he would need permission from GSuite…

Wait a minute, maybe he doesn’t need permission for that. I think he could migrate without the administrator’s permission. I think the thing he was asking about disabling was how his GSuite required his Android to maintain a certain level of security. For example, his phone required that he have a password on the lockscreen rather than a swipe or unlock pattern.

I think I might have done all I can do, and that’s okay. I haven’t logged into that GSuite admin panel for years. I had completely forgotten about the DNS settings that I wiped out when I removed the domain from my vultr admin panel last month.

I have a todo item for myself. Notify my other brother D. who might still be using his Gsuite e-mail. First I should explain that I erased the DNS settings which fowarded e-mail from my domain to google’s servers, which would explain why he hasn’t been getting e-mails… Then I’ll explain that I’m not going to be renewing the domain in May when it expires, and the e-mail to that domain will permanently stop forwarding to GSuite.

I can see that this would cause problems for my brother M. who called me about the issue. All his personal accounts on all the websites he uses are going to have to be changed.

Hmm… I wonder if there’s a way I could monetize this…

Well, I don’t want to monetize this. I would be monetizing my brothers, having them pay the domain renewal fee, so they can keep using their extremetoaster e-mail.

But is that even a good thing? I don’t want to support that domain. It’s a relic of the past. I’ve moved on, I’ve levelled up. I don’t use the domain myself, so why would I want my brothers to keep using it?

I think it might be nice to sell the GSuite account access. I think there are people out there who would pay for that legacy GSuite. It would give them grandfathered access to Google Workplaces or whatever it’s called now, for free. That’s not a free product, if they signed up and created a new account today. I could migrate my brothers from it, then sell the GSuite account, then I’d be done with it and I wouldn’t have to worry about it again.

Not that I’m worrying about it now.

I’m kinda worrying about it.

I don’t have access… honestly, what can I do?

I can look for the password to the admin account.

But even if I had the account, wouldn’t it immediately require 2FA verification via the phone number on the account?

I may be truly locked out, unless I could score that phone number again, which is probably… implausible.

Is there a way to get a specific phone number? I know services like twilio let you choose from a big pool of numbers, but what about a number that I used to use, but it’s been years since I have? It’s probably been re-assigned to another person.

Hmm… I might look into that. I also want to look into how much a legacy GSuite account can be sold for, or even if it’s worth it. Google may have put measures in place to prevent such a thing…

Not worth. Apparently, the domain name in GSuite cannot be changed. Doing so requires a paid upgrade.

Moving on!

Notes from nutrition group

  • Doozy– drinking more tea when I’m already jittering
  • 2x week of strength training
  • FBH has a walking group on thursday at 10am
  • Something is better than nothing
  • What a doozy– 35 minutes late (not me, someone else)
  • “yeah, I was warm, I had to take my hat off” (delete the, “yeah” and make it my story)
  • WIC Bldg
  • TANF Bldg
  • GOAL for this week: I will be physically active by walking or bicycling every day for at least 45 minutes by 11AM.

Notes from CoDA WA 145

Tue Jan 12 2021

I’m feeling shame for having responded to a chat message on Zoom.

“What page?”

I saw that, and responded…


…while an anon was sharing. I felt shame because I felt like I was white knighting (13 stepping?) or disrupting the ongoing speaker. Guilt? no. I wasn’t white knighting. This person was asking for help.

The topic during CoDA was a difficult one. Reparenting my Inner Child was the topic. My dependency comes from my relationship with my father. I thought I didn’t have a higher power, but I made my dad my higher power. It’s very difficult to reparent myself because that felt like betraying my god.

But I did reparent myself and I’m working on that to this day, thanks to CoDA & CBT. Now I’m rediscovering myself.

Ideas for tank game

Build a popular channel, then pay up & coming VTubers to take shifts on the tank game as commentator.


I am going to jump into eBay after I finish journalling. I have a whole big box of cards to go through, photograph, sort, etc.

There are a bunch of 90’s and early 2000’s cards in one of the collections. Some of them I’m going to have to throw out, because the paint has not aged well. IDK the series these cards are from, so it’s no loss really. The cards probably would not sell anyway, given how obscure they are. It honestly looks like a game in beta status. The art is meh…

Fuck now I gotta photograph it because I can’t just talk about it without having photos!

they’re sticky and the smell of japanese tobbaco come off on my fingers as I handle them. They’re definitely going in the trash!

Oh it’s a SEGA branded game, apparently!


I feel guilty about throwing them away, because I paid good money for them.

Well it’s about 60 cards, and if I divide the cost of the 350 card lot it came in, it’s about 7 cents a card. So I just threw away $4 worth of cards. Fuck! I don’t like it when I think about it that way!

Ok well let’s think about it from an investment perspective. The collection cost about $25 shipped. I’m likely to sell several cards for $7 a piece. Maybe more. So I need to sell 4 $7 cards to break even, then another ~5 cards to get to 1.3X investment value, which would be my baseline goal.

LOL, I’m looking at GOLD here, because there’s 281 more cards to potentially sell.

This is a great investment, even with the cards that I’ve thrown away. Heck, I could throw away another 100+ cards and still be sitting pretty!

Just gotta get these all listed, so the money can work for me.

Affy & Gratty

4:05PM. I’m grateful that the sun is setting soon, so I can break my fast and eat (if I so choose!) I might just continue fasting all day, who knows? I feel pretty good right now. In fact, I think I will fast more often, because I feel pretty good right now!

45. It’s okay to feel like a goof in front of people, especially when it’s my authentic self shining through.

( I felt pretty goofy during the nutrition group when we did a walking in place exercise. I felt embarrassed about wearing pajama pants but I stood up and participated anyway. )

32. I choose hope.
31. I am special; I will not change myself for anyone.

I’m grateful for the internet I have, and the discovery of an app which could help me get even faster internet. It would require more data connections, but it would help quite a bit with reliability and bandwidth. I could start streaming from my home computer with this method! (Speedify)

But then again, I am going to be patient and wait for Starlink. Starlink would be the best bang for the buck, methinks.

I’m grateful for tea. This Earl Grey (Bigelow brand) I’ve been sipping on today is quite delicious.


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