Tue May 26 2020

skateboard, helm, protectors

I went walking outside and it was nice. I did some meditation and got into a mind space where I was observing without judgement. I think doing so triggered a reset in my brain, because after I resumed walking I noticed things around me as if I were seeing them for the first time.

It was effortless, but I was seeing the forest around my parent’s house as this beautiful, magical place. I saw a hummingbird and watched it fly up high, dive down, and make it’s call. It repeated that process a half dozen time, each time making it’s distinctive call.

Hummingbirds make this sound as if they’re doing a raspberry with their tongue, followed by a long, descending chirp which begins at a high pitch. Hummingbirds are the closest thing to fairies that I know of. They’re tiny, agile, elusive creatures.

Last night I slept all evening. I slept from about 4PM to 8PM. I got up and worked on making new eBay listings. I’m getting into my Weiss Schwarz card listings and eliminating cards with qty >= 1. I went through all my english PD/S22 cards and split them into three groups–

  • Singles
  • Playsets
  • Reserves

I’m probably repeating myself but that’s okay. It’s better to say things twice then not at all.

The singles are individual cards listed on eBay at qty1. Because there is only 1 of each, a buyer has a limited opportunity to buy and get the card they want.

The playsets are a set of four identical cards. These playsets are used for creating decks. A full playset cost like $400 and consists of four cards of each card in a set. It allows players to have a stockpile of cards from which to create decks from.

The reason it’s four copies of each card is because four copies is the maximum allowed. Players often opt to put four copies of their strongest cards in their deck, to maximize the chances that they will draw that powerful card during their turn.

I’m testing the waters here. I’m trying to determine if there is a market for playsets such as these. I’ve seen other eBay sellers with similar listings, but I’m unsure of their selling success.

Next up is PD/S29 [English Edition] cards. I’ll be going through those and doing the same thing, Separating singles from playsets from reserves.

Once I go through all my cards and create singles/playsets/reserves, the reserves create an extra listing opportunity for me.

The reserves allow me to create multipacks, like the two KAITO multipacks I sold in the past week. Those KAITO multipacks started out as extra quantity on single cards. They’ve now sold because I went through the effort of both creating scarcity, and creating bundle listings! It’s a situation where I’m feeding two birds with one seed!

I’m going to keep this up, creating dozens of listings per day. I think eBay’s algorithm really does favor the most active sellers. I got two sales last night during the time I was listing. I attribute those sales to the fact that eBay considered me active and rose my listings up a little higher.

I could be matching correlation with causation or whatever. I could be totally wrong. Maybe Monday nights are just a popular time for shoppers to spend their money.

I’m going to move forward regardless. I’m going to keep at this, keep up an aggressive daily work schedule, because right now is the time that will make or break my business.

I’m looking at my net worth chart, my income chart, my credit card debt, upcoming expenses… I’m going to have to get a part time job if I don’t bring in more money soon. I don’t want that. I don’t want to go back to a rigid work schedule doing shitty low-skill work for other people. I don’t feel edified in doing such a thing, I don’t feel like I’m putting my talents to use. I feel my soul wasting away.

I’m happy with spending long hours listing items on eBay. This is what I want. It might not be eBay specifically, I just wanna sit at the computer and make shit. Code, eBay listings, it’s so similar. Both take a lot of brain processing power, pattern recognition, learning, optimizing… Both of those things satisfy my desire as a creative person.

They’re complimentary as well. Sometimes I get burned out on code, but eBay comes easy. Other days it’s the opposite.

This was a good one. Damn, there’s so many good yoga vids on youtube! I’m very grateful for that.

Not just yoga either, but all sorts of stretching tutorial videos. If I find I’ve done all the 5 minute yoga videos, I simply change the search terms to, “five minute stretching” and there’s a new repository of valuable information right in front of me!

My sister sent me this picture yesterday. I used it for my twitter profile picture. I’m going to replace my grimtech.net/about picture with this one.

It’s so perfect! I’m wearing one of my favorite shirts. It’s not a webcam photo or a selfie. It’s a genuine portrait taken by my sister in my parent’s kitchen. I made an impromptu silly face and showed a side of myself that’s always there but rarely shown.


Today I plan on spending time journalling, studying Japanese, and working on listing eBay items. PD/S29 cards!

It’s Tuesday which means it’s a video game day. Hopefully M. is on this evening! I didn’t get to play with him last week.

I also hope S. is online. He asked me a personal question last week which is the first time I can think of that he did such a thing. I learned about his father’s illness and some of the struggles he’s going through with that. I think it’s safe to say that we are better friends now. He was exercising vulnerability and volunteering something personal.

I reeled back after that. I didn’t get on Teamspeak the next day. He got close, so I backed away. Bad habit. I want us to be friends. I like S. He’s an incredibly talented gamer. He’s funny and unique. There’s a lot about him that I don’t know, but I’d like to learn more.

I think that’s all it takes. Wanting to know more is enough to advance a friendship to the next level.

Yesterday I got charged $37 in credit card interest. Oof. $37 is a ton of money for me right now. TON. $37 is weeks worth of food. $37 is months worth of blog hosting.

I’m just throwing that money away every month, because I’m carrying a balance on my credit cards.

New goal. Get outta debt!

My minimum payments on my credit cards are somewhere around $45. I’m going to be in debt forever unless I take some hasty action!

Instead of trying to acquire more shit I don’t need, I will put more money towards paying off my credit cards.

More shit I don’t need? I don’t have a budget for that!

I was thinking while I was walking. I’m bringing in around $1000 a month. I have a $400 rent expense, a $300 eBay store expense, a $55 phone/internet expense, and a $10 blog expense. That’s $765 in expenses. That’s $235 gross.

That’s not enough! But it is a gross income that is in the black. I have that to be thankful of!

So if I keep up this $1000 monthly income, I can make this lifestyle work.

I forgot to add the credit card payment and the credit card interest. That brings my gross down to $153. That’s so poor!

I can do better. Maybe I can reduce my blog hosting fee? Eh, I can’t really downgrade. I was maxing out that virtual machine when I had the lower grade VPS.

$153 is pittance, but $153 is $153. That’s a lot better than zero. That’s a hell of a lot better than being negative!

I’ve done pretty good at reducing my expenses. I got rid of the auto insurance. I’m planning on selling the truck. Eventually I’m getting a bicycle.

I can do this! I can make this work with what I have! I just have to put in the work right now. Every single day except Sunday. Four hours minimum is my goal.

I can flood the market with my product, offer exclusive products at reasonable deals, and make my store the best source on eBay to buy collectible anime cards.

I doubt the market, but I don’t doubt myself. If collectible cards aren’t enough to carry me, I always have the option to resell junk. Free electronics from family members or stuff I don’t use anymore.

My cassette tape thing could take off. That idea seems promising!

I’ll find a way to provide value and live the life I want. I’m already doing it right now. The challenge in front of me is just to keep going, keep improving and multiplying my listings, keep selling and keep providing excellent customer service.

This seems to be one of those blog posts where I get really stoked about something. I get all fired up and motivated and I write positive things and it’s enough to send my day forward in a great way.

No judgement. Just observing.

There’s a website that takes a selfie and turns it into an anime waifu.

Pretty funny amirite? Make your own, they’re so fun!


64. Today, I will be courageous.
65. I release all fear from my mind.
66. I can reach my goals. I am unstoppable.

DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheets

Dealing with Difficult People

Everyone has times when they need to deal with people who are unpleasant or argumentative. This skill is about having the tools to be able to deal with people that are difficult. You can use this skill when dealing with people that you find difficult, challenging, or problematic.

I can be non-judgemental with this relationship by:

Huh? I dunno. Aren’t I supposed to be given the answer and then quizzed on it? Maybe this is the type of course where I have to make the answer for myself? Hmm…

I suppose I can exercise some empathy. I can try to see the world from their point of view. I don’t have to agree with it. I don’t have to be a pushover or give them what they demand. I can be rational and fair even if they are irrational and impatient.

Non-judegemental? I suppose that would be really hard to do when a person is unpleasant and arguing with me. I wonder what K. thinks?

I can participate in improving this relationship by:

Listening, probably. I don’t have to start arguing, but I want to understand where they’re coming from. There’s a technique I’ve seen police officers do when someone is arguing with them.

I’m not arguing with you.

A calm, collected Police Officer

I suppose that’s a first step. An unpleasant person might be looking for an argument. They might just be angry and trying to spark up a flame war or a fight. I’m not looking for that. I would be setting a healthy boundary by saying it clearly and calmly that I’m not arguing.

I think bringing an argument back to a discussion would definitely be an improvement. From there, we could both exchange information and then hopefully come to a resolution.

That’s enough DBT for today.

The thing I don’t like about headings is that once I start a heading, I have to keep using headings, otherwise the content of a new topic falls under the heading of the previous topic.

First world problems.

I suppose I could just use bold and caps if I didn’t want to have to think about headings. It’s not a big deal, Mr. Chris!

Something I learned about myself this morning is that I’m constantly having thoughts. During meditation, I used Duncan Trussell’s technique of observing and identifying when thoughts are occuring.

That’s a thought.

Me when I realize I’m having a thought.

I repeated this over and over again, each time trying to come back to a peaceful state without thought or judgement.

It took a lot of practice. It took a lot of focus.

Eventually the amount of thoughts lessened, and I got into a place of observation without language.

Then another thought would come in.

That’s okay though. Sam Harris says to notice the thought, then bring awareness back to the meditation.

Difficult indeed, because my mind is constantly piecing together information. Constantly trying to make sense of the complex soup of elements that we exist in.

I want the full Waking Up app, but I can’t afford it. I reached the end of the free lessons, and I want more. I need more. I think Sam Harris said that he gives it away for free to people who need it. I just have to send an e-mail and I might be given access. Might be worth a try.

I’m realizing that I have a really weak lower back. I’m incapable of sitting on the floor with my legs out in front of me, while keeping a straight back. Completely impossible right now. I’m just going to start doing some lower back exercises and building that strength!

It’s exciting knowing that I’m going to get stronk. I’m religiously taking 5 minute breaks every 25 minutes, and doing a short exercise. My back has been feeling so much better now that I work it on a regular basis!

I dunno if I even mentioned back pain when I felt it. I think I’ve been so out of touch with my body that I didn’t recognize pain when I felt it. Yoga is changing the relationship I have with my body, and tuning me into muscle groups and joints that were previously ignored.

I’m grateful for yoga. I’m especially grateful for Bird and Adriene who produce some really excellent videos.

I’m grateful for pocket knives because they’re useful. I used one the other day to open a package of vegan hot dogs when we had a camp fire out back. I’m grateful for family, and the chance we had to spend at the campfire.

I invited my brother D. to take part in NanoWriMo this year. He’s in school right now, working remotely due to COVID-19. He’s a great author! He made a really engaging short story called The Aventures of Helix. I think I stole his copy of his book, because I mentioned I had it on Sunday and he said, “oh that’s where it is!”

Mine! My precious! LOL. I should give it back. Maybe that would inspire him to write more!

Whatever he chooses, I respect it. He’s busy with school and life. A novel is a huge commitment!

I’m definitely writing this November. I look forward to that!


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