Wed Aug 19 2020

I’m just going to write today, and if I happen to get to CoDA or CBT, then so be it. If not, no big deal. It’s 11:06 PM right now. I tried to sleep at around 10, but there was no sleep to be had. I’m tense and shit.

I did yoga today. Only one 15 minute yoga session at around 1 or 2 PM I think?

I felt pretty productive today. I listed around 40 cards on eBay, got one sale, walked 20 laps, showered, shaved, ate icecream (YUM)

I convinced myself that I’m worth spending $6 a week on icecream. I deserve to have a healthy fat intake every now and again!

I declined playing video games with M. tonight. I said I’m taking a break from video games. It doesn’t make sense for me to get stressed out all day doing computer work, then jump into a Squad session and have an adrenaline and dopamine dump.

I need to lessen my computer usage. I’m losing my vision and my hearing because of this shit. I’m probably going to have kidney problems if I don’t lessen my average daily stress by a significant amount.

I think I’m going to reprint my daily progress chart now. I made two or three adjustments since last saturday, and now the list I have in front of me is looking outdated.

I’m trying to be thrifty though. I’m trying not to print a shipping label because each shipping label represents a dollar amount. It’s gotta be a fraction of a penny, but that shit adds up!

I’m going to print it though. Tonight at midnight seems like a good time. I can check off whatever I want on the sheet in front of me for thursday, after which I can switch to the new version starting at midnight.

I’ve been using my 4″x6″ shipping labels to print these progress charts, because that’s the only printer I have. There’s a silver lining to having an adhesive backed sheet because I can just affix the label to the old label.

Last week’s progress chart is on the back of the current progress chart. When I print out the most up-to-date version, I’m going to adhere it over last week’s chart. This little chart is going to get thicker and thicker, every time I make new versions!

It’ll be a little tablet. I like how it’s so small, only 4 inches by 6 inches. I keep it off to the side of my desk and it’s very handy to look over and see where I’m at.

I removed the Code item and added, TIL which stands for Today I Learned. I don’t care what it is, I just want to learn something every day. That might be a syntax sugar in Typecript or ES6, or it might be a Japanese word. Whatever it is, I want to focus on making progress on my knowledge, because knowledge is power!

Knowledge is value. With some luck and some hard work, I can monetize what I know, and accelerate myself towards my goal of being financially stable.

Speaking of financial stability… Did you know that the US Federal Reserve targets a 2% inflation rate per year? As in, they actually want that much inflation. I thought it was just a byproduct of fractional reserves or whatever, but nope! They actually have an inflation goal, and that’s insane!

Also I heard that the 2% number is kinda garbage. As far as things that people buy on a daily basis like toothbrushes and food, the number is more like 10%.

I heard this on What Bitcoin Did #252. I actually haven’t finished listening to the entire thing, but I really enjoyed the conversation so far.

My mind has gone blank. I dunno what else to talk about. There’s a segment in WBD252 which talks about a trend of young men who refuse to get jobs, and resign themselves to living a life of loneliness. Eyy that’s me! I guess I fit into a category.

The stated reasons for those young men are that they can’t make enough money at a job to start a family or buy a house. I feel that. I might have been able to make that money if I stayed with I.C., but that job was never fulfilling, and never something that I worked for and earned.

The point I’m trying to make is that it seems like the only jobs available to me are bottom of the barrel labor jobs. I got that higher paying job through networking because it was through my family.

Eh, I’m kinda making excuses. I had a job and I threw it away because I hated it.


I’m tired. I don’t wanna think logically and make connections right now.

I haven’t even finished the podcast. I haven’t heard the point of what the dude speaking is trying to make.


I simultaneously want to be a shiny, unique unicorn

I installed and set up Storybook earlier. It seems like a really good tool to have when developing react components!

sbtp-loyalty (now renamed and divided into sbtp-cms and sbtp-app) is going to be the first React project I’ve done. It seems super simple because I already know Vue.js. Syntax is a bit different, but I’m figuring it out.

I have an urge to work on sbtp-app right now. FIGHT THE URGE!!!!

I wonder if sbtp-cms and sbtp-app should be combined into one repo? I’ve seen an example project that did that, and they separated the frontend code and the backend code into different subfolders. IDK. I’ll eventually figure out what’s considered best practice, and go from there.

I have an urge to eat. I don’t need to eat. It’s 11:30 PM and I want to sleep soon. I deviated from my sleep schedule last night because I went into a mindless spiral and nothing was satisfying me. I ate food late, I watched tons of youtube, I scrolled endlessly on hackernews and reddit, I fapped.

I saw it coming. I saw it coming by maybe 10PM when I was feeling like I could sleep, but I just kept going on YouTube. I didn’t stop it, for whatever reason. Maybe I felt like I deserved a good fap. I haven’t fapped in what seems like weeks. I simply haven’t had the urge.

Maybe it’s been too hot. Maybe my hyper-tense legs are overriding whatever electrical impulses that my groin area is sending my brain. Maybe I’ve been constricting the blood flow to that area, or my shitty kitchen table chair that I sit on for 14 hours a day is crushing my balls to death.

My balls are not comfortable on this chair, that’s for sure. Every few days I imagine HAG Capisco would feel like to sit on. I run fantasies in my mind where someone offers me a $299.99 Office Depot chair, and I fervently decline as no furniture from that store is likely worth buying.

I demand a chair that cost at least $700, or no chair at all. I exaggerate, of course. I will pay $0 or $700 for a chair– the in between offerings are not worth it!

Not worth the back pain of an impressive looking yet ergonomically dangerous stack of bullshit, not worth putting up with literally stinky Chinese lubricant crap, not worth putting up with sporty looking trendy “racer” chairs which are hastily mass produced and are going to break in 3 years.

Damn, I should be a social commenter. It’s a super easy job. All I gotta do is rant and rave and be critical about everything. I can make a youtube channel and whine about everything while producing nothing but narcissistic mouth diarrhea.

Goddamn, my balls are so squished and pinched as I try to move around and find a comfortable position.


Ooo, I could go in debt to get this chair. Just $68 a month for 12 months!

I kid, I kid.

I could go in debt for this chair, if it was the only debt I had. Right now I’m sitting on almost $3K of debt, and that’s some bad juju right there!

Did I mention that I’m thinking of finding a PT job? Yeah, I think it might be time for that.

Spokesman Review has jobs that the worker can choose 1, 2, or 3 days a week. I’d start with 1 day per week, cuz I don’t want to work any more than I have to!

I just need to pay my rent, and pay back my credit card debt. Hopefully this card store business can turn around and become profitable, but that’s going to take some time.

Time and pressure. And a consistent flow of new products! I’m surprised that the package is still in transit. I really hope that it actually shows up eventually! That would be an unfortunate loss to lose such a valuable package.

I don’t think it’ll get lost. I think it’s just going to be delayed thanks to the sweeping changes that are occurring in the USPS. It’s some real political madness there. If anything, reduce the military’s spending, not the fucking USPS! That’s what I’d want to say to whoever’s in charge of that shit.

It’s 11:56PM. I’m going to end here with some much needed gratitude, and affirmations.

I’m grateful for my computer.

I’m grateful for cashew ice cream.

I’m grateful for my testicles.

37. I can make a difference
38. My past does not define my future, I do.
39. My life is filled with possibility.

Oh hey, I just looked at the package tracking info for that package that’s taking a long time. It’s been in transit for 49 days. That’s actually 11 days less than what Buyee states is the expected transit time. So I guess I’m really the one being silly!

Patience, young padawan.

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