I just applied to Hatchways. They’re a new-ish bootcamp program that seems to have very good prices. I have been working a lot on my social anxiety lately, so I think I could have a chance at being able to work with a team now.
I’ll need better internet for sure. I think a wifi hotspot would be the best choice at this point. Going through my parents for better internet just brings up a whole mess of problems so I don’t even want to get into that.
My rent would be waived if I were in school. That’s a definite plus. I have enough money for rent this month. This is due to selling my electric longboard and some other high value items that I can’t remember.
6 items to ship today. It’s 1:30PM. I slept in for quite a long time today. I had lots of dreams. Lots of dreams bringing up my relationship with my father. I had a dream where he was setting requirements for me to follow to be able to live here. They were bullshit requirements and in the dream I was ready to say fuck no and move out right then and there.
I think we’re past that point. Well, I suppose if the psychedelics came up, we might actually have that talk. It’s okay. CoDA is going to help me with this fear. It doesn’t need to be a fear.
The shame is going to go away as well. Therapy is helping with that.
I’m going to CoDA again next week. I need to get myself a copy of the book somehow.
Now that I know what it looks like, I think I could find one at a thrift store. It might take awhile for that, so I’m looking for a copy online. I saw one person viewing it on their phone so I’ll go with that route for the moment.
Oh my sister said she has the book and will loan it to me!
I feel nauseous. I think it’s from peestains on my bed. Thanks, mushrooms! Time for a new bed!
This is what I’m getting rid of. It’s gotten so flat and uncomfortable. I’ve had it since June 1, 2018. Definitely time for it to go to the dump. I don’t wanna pay the $20 dump fee though, so I think I’m going to cut it into pieces and throw it in the garbage can. THRIFTY!
Ugh, so nauseous. I’m not planning on walking today because I’m taking a break. I’ve been experiencing joint pain in my knees. I think it’s because I’m overtraining and walking in terrible conditions and heel striking. The overtraining is because I’m not used to walking much. The terrible conditions is the icy nature trail in my parent’s backyard. The heel striking is because I have shitty boots with a large heel which promote heel striking. I miss being able to wear my vivobarefoot shoes!
I opened the window to get some fresh air.
I’m cooking 3 ingredient cookies! 1.5 cups oats, 2 mashed bananas, and 1 cup vegan chocolate chips. Mixed together and baked at 350 deg F for 13 minutes. They’re my new recipe for this week! I tried them last night and I was pleased. They kind of remind me of no-bake cookies. I wonder if there are some nobake vegan cookie recipes which I cant try!
I’m pretty sure there are some. I tried one in the past which turned out kinda mushy. They were not so good.
New recipe every Monday!
Today I want to put a great deal of effort into eBay. I need to make a run to the post office before it closes, and pack and ship 6 items. Then I’ll go to a thrift store. I want to check out every thrift store in the area. There are lots! The one I’m thinking of visiting today is behind the Black Pearl casino on Pines at I-90. It’s right next to Gamer’s Haven, a solid place to buy Magic cards and play with friends.
I don’t play Magic anymore. My game now is Weiss Schwarz. I have a Hatsune Miku deck which is pretty strong compared to the two friend’s deck’s that I’ve played against.
https://www.encoredecks.com/deck/ZT1ZXFQkp
That’s my deck right there. Encoredecks is a pretty cool app. I could get involved with development of it if I really wanted, but I don’t really want to. I’m a member of their Discord server and all I really do on it is check the announcements. They release new features and update decks every few weeks.
I’m trying to get more people to switch to Signal. I’m getting sick of burnerapp’s user experience. I can be staring at a text I just sent, but I won’t see incoming messages from the other person in the conversation until I back out of the conversation. On the overview of all received messages, I can see that there is a new message received. It’s complete bullshit. I should see incoming messages as they appear. I shouldn’t have to manually back out of a conversation to see new messages. Their UX team did a bad thing in that regard, and I can’t recommend burnerapp because of that.
It’s got too many awkward refreshes. The experience is jarring. 1/10, bad app.
I guess I’ll just start using my actual phone number. Hopefully Signal doesn’t wig out because I’m using a burnerapp phone number as my main number in Signal. I at least know that regular SMS sent to my actual phone number goes through to Signal via unencrypted SMS.
Cookie time!
I made cookies. They were yummy. I shipped and packed items then I went to the Post Office. Then I went thrift shopping. The Thrift store on Pines is really cramped… I’m not a fan.
I went to Salvation Army thrift store after that and I found a ton of good stuff. Lots of knick knacks to sell on eBay!
Something in my apartment is making me nauseous. I’m determined to get rid of whatever it is! I’m guessing that futon. Maybe it’s got mushroom pee on it and my brain is rejecting more mushrooms! That’s it, I’m bagging it up right now.
I think it’s something in my kitchenette. I’m throwing away a bunch of suspect items. A deep clean is in order! My burner needs a thorough cleaning as soon as it’s not hot. Also the countertops, the sink drains… Something is seriously toxic in here.
It might just be my equilibrium that is fucked up. It feels better to just sit and hold still… I think the mushrooms really gave my brain a reset. Maybe it’s time I see a doctor about that inner ear problem.
Going to support groups is doing wonders for me. I want to do even more socializing and join even more support groups and be more physically active. I am wanting to join some meditation groups and a church I’m thinking about the Spokane Bhuddist Temple which has Japanese origins but their service is mostly in English. They meet at 10:30 AM on Sundays and they have a service with meditation and incense burning and stuff.
I’m wanting to explore buddhism a little more, since having that profound experience with psychedelics and having the feeling of meeting God. Plus I think there’s a lot of Japanese tradition baked into the Buddhist Temple’s services, so I think there would be some benefit to learning more about Japan.
I might just find some more techniques for dealing with my social anxiety. It’s worth a shot!
There’s a suggested monthly donation of $20. That’s one more expense I’d have to think about. Of course they are a church and there is a statement saying people with limited income are not obligated… I don’t think anybody is obligated, but for sure they can only stay open if they get a certain amount of funds.
Not something to worry about! If I decide to attend regularly, I can think about donations at that point.
Who knows, maybe there is opportunity for professional networking! I do need more of that, so I can find a find a job worth doing and people worth serving.
Coffee and snacks after the service! That’s something to look forward to!
I just made #Jamuary2020 jam number 22. I really like the result!
It has a wonderful groove to it. A real head bobber. A bop, as the cool kids say!
Ugh, this nausea is annoying! I want to get rid of all my stuff so it’s very obvious what is making me ill.
I think the quality of my journalling is going down. I’m not writing my feelings much anymore. I’m just writing my experiences. My experiences are good and all, but my feelings are what make the articles good. Experiences are just a historical record. Feelings are that and more.
I don’t know! Maybe I’m trying to ignore my feelings again. Maybe I’m numbing them by being on the computer right now. My computer use right now seems kind of aimless. I just finished a song, now I’m on twitter reading about possible Tesla Cybertruck Lego kits. Luckily I decluttered my Twitter feed awhile back, so there’s not much appeal to being on twitter anymore.
I check the feed and there’s like 3 new posts to read, then that’s the end of the new content. There’s no reason to scroll endlessly if there is a limit to how much new content is available! 1000 IQ.
Bop! It’s a bob! Jamuary2020 Day 22 kicks ass! I’m listening to it on repeat. Once January is over, I want to put together a compilation video containing all the tracks. It’ll probably be like a 20 minute video. I’m thinking of adding B roll of nature in Spokane. I want to get a tripod mount for my phone so I can get some steady shots. I’m going to put my mini tripod in my backpack so I have it with me when I go out. Maybe I could fashion a tripod mount for my phone which cost $0. Maybe I already have something that would work? Maybe a thrift store would have something like that. I just need a selfie stick that I can modify to work with a tripod…
I sold a Manfrotto tripod on eBay today for $32! I bought it for $18 at UGM thrift store. That’s promising to know that I was able to turn a profit! Now I have a bunch of stuff from Goodwill and Salvation Army to list on eBay. Hopefully I can have some more successes!
I missed my 8PM listing window for today. It’s 10:28PM now, so the items I’m about to list will have to go up tomorrow evening.
No worries! Life is an adventure. Life is good. Thank God for life and for sending me back to my body so I can continue life as Chris. Actually I sent myself back… That’s the nice thing about that experience, I was the master of my destiny, not God. God isn’t even something with a will, persay. God is just there, a completely neutral entity. Will is a trait of humans, not of god. That’s what it felt like, anyway. And it was all probably just in my head, but it was an enlightening experience and I’m acting on the good of what I learned.
Just gonna write some more so I can finish this blog post for the day and get on with eBay listings.
I’m grateful for free recipes online. I’m grateful for my parents for putting up with me so far. I’m grateful for LMMS, the digital audio workstation I’ve been using to create a majority of my Jamuary music jams. I’m grateful for CoDA which is full of people with relatable experiences and struggles. I’m grateful for bleach and basil cleaning spray which are helping me create a more sanitary environment. I’m grateful for the internet which grants me all sorts of unique and interesting employment opportunities. I’m grateful for this wonderful mind that Chris has, and the endless possibilities that he comes up with to advance his entrepreneurial enterprises.I’m grateful for free recipes online. I’m grateful for my parents for putting up with me so far. I’m grateful for LMMS, the digital audio workstation I’ve been using to create a majority of my Jamuary music jams. I’m grateful for CoDA which is full of people with relatable experiences and struggles. I’m grateful for bleach and basil cleaning spray which are helping me create a more sanitary environment. I’m grateful for the internet which grants me all sorts of unique and interesting employment opportunities. I’m grateful for this wonderful mind that Chris has, and the endless possibilities that he comes up with to advance his entrepreneurial enterprises.
