Good evening. Yesterday was kinda fucked. Today was much better.
I’ll talk about today first. I sold my Suburban at Pull & Save in Spokane Valley. I got $250 for it. It felt great to be freed from that beast of burden.
I managed to get it to start using my genius boost, after which I shoved my bicycle into the back and rode it down to Pull & Save. I knew I wouldn’t be getting much. I didn’t care, I just wanted that hunk of junk gone.
I was so nervous on the drive. I was ridin’ dirty without auto insurance, and I hadn’t driven the Suburban in so long that I was afraid it would fail on me.
Even when I was driving it regularly I had this fear. It had ran out of gas one time and I lost power steering on a downhill. The same downhill that I crashed my longboard on.
That time was my fault for letting it run out of gas, but I also had a fear of the breaks failing to stop or slow the vehicle. The brakes had been sketchy for ages. Even after I took the Suburban to Golden Rule Brakes, they were sketchy.
Sure, they ground down the rotors and made braking smooth, but there was still an issue with how responsive the brakes were. They were nothing like they used to be.
Anti-lock-brakes were toast as well. ABS hadn’t worked since I bought the vehicle, and that was just a part of the vehicle’s character at that point. Golden Rule Brake couldn’t do a thing about the onboard computer which handle ABS, and I lacked the funds to have Chevrolet check it out.
That’s a good way to describe my relationship with that vehicle. I lacked the funds.
I lacked the funds to figure out what was wrong with the suspension. I lacked the funds to do maintenance other than oil changes.
Now that I’m an entrepreneur selling wares out of my home, the fund lacking is more apparent than ever.
The Suburban had become a complete hindrance to me. I had shrunk my expenses to a bare minimum so I can pursue the dream of self-employment. Yet I had this external object in my legal posession which would gather attention from family every now and again.
“I need to accept a load of x, can you move your Suburban?”
“Can I move your Suburban so I can free up this area for guest parking?”
It was always in the way, eventually.
It had become a nest for mice. The horrors of discovering shredded paper towels, urine stains, and thousands of tiny poops was the last straw. That Suburban had to go immediately.
Ehh, that’s not accurate.
The last straw was the culmination of yesterday’s events. After my failed sale and shaming experience with my dad yesterday, I shut down. I became so depressed that I couldn’t work on eBay, couldn’t eat, couldn’t watch TV.
All I could do is put my head on my desk and sit in shame. I spent the remainder of the day unable to function.
I got so fed up with this feeling that I just said, “fuck it.”
I figured that the Suburban the thing triggering my shame, and I decided that it wasn’t worth it. I can’t sit here wasting an entire day feeling terrible about this thing. It’s likely that it’s going to take more than a day to sell the vehicle, and life is too short to feel depressed to the point where I’m contemplating suicide.
I pulled the listing from Craigslist. Buying and selling on that platform is not for me. Not as I am right now. I’d like to work on this in the future, but where I’m at right now is that social interaction with strangers in person, haggling, offering my unmaintained junk and feeling the shame of their disgust of it’s conditon, feeling the shame of my father having to bail me out and jumpstart it for me… That all puts me in a dark place where I can’t pull myself out of.
Yeah, it wouldn’t start. My genius boost didn’t even sense a voltage on the battery so I couldn’t start it that way. I know now that this was user error. There’s a manual override button on my GB40 for when the battery is low like that. I later used manual override mode to jumpstart the vehicle.
Let me take it back a bit.
I was calm and collected yesterday morning. I walked out to my Suburban and removed the belongings that I wanted to hold onto. Things like rollerblade cones, water bottoms, and my fire extinguisher.
I received a text from an interested buyer. They were going to come by and check out the Suburban, but I didn’t know when. They were going to text me when they were on their way. I continued to clean out the suburban, and that’s when I found the mice nests under the back seats.
Fuck. With gloves on, I cleaned out the nests as best as I could. The Suburban wouldn’t start so I couldn’t reach a vacuum to where it was parked.
As time went on, I became increasingly stressed out at the thought of people coming to see the vehicle and it not being ready to show. I became stressed at the thought of multiple people texting or calling me and wanting to show up to see it at about the same time.
I’m stressing out just writing about this. I’m going to have to move on for now.
CodPast makes some incredibly funny videos. I really enjoy their edits of JRE.
I just had an idea. What if I set up a subscription box service which sends out Japanese trading cards every month? OMG!
I bet I could do it through Patreon.
I’m going to do it. New revenue streams are what I’m all about!!!
I’ve been trying to figure out some way to get extra income off of the trading cards I have. Something like a voting system which people choose their favorite waifus, and there’s some way to win a prize if you voted for the top waifu. Or something like that.
I’d like to build an app that handles that sort of thing. I’m really trying hard to get more Twitter followers so whatever service I think of, I can just blast it out on Twitter and instantly get a crowd of people to the new service.
I’m thinking of getting started with Instagram as well. Instagram is a little weird because I can only do one photo at a time. I think instagram is a dumb version of Twitter. More characters? It doesn’t even matter. Twitter already has workarounds for more characters such as text in images or a link to a website with a higher character count.
If I recall correctly, Twitter was designed with a character limit for the purpose of regulating the reading time of a Tweet to around 6 seconds. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, that’s just a design being fulfilled.
Tweets can so easily link to a personal website or blog, so I don’t think it’s a problem at all.
I guess the thing that Instagram has is that everything is consistent and familiar for phone users. When people read a IG post, the buttons are all in the same place. The text content looks the same. There isn’t a tax on attention and learning as there might be if the person had to go to an external website to read the content.
Neither good nor bad. Just strengths, weaknesses, and tradeoffs.
I’m ending this journal entry for today.
I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for my sister A. and my brother D. I’m grateful that I got invited to lunch today, and I got to spend time with them. I’m grateful that there was a food truck with delicious vegan Buddha bowls.
Looking for VOCALOID trading cards?