Wed May 27 2020

spacex, spaceship, satellite

Today’s a big day for space flight! SpaceX is launching two humans for the first time!

I’m pretty cynical at times. When I first heard of this, I reminded myself of all the times that SpaceX has failed to land a rocket, or a rocket exploded on the pad. I made the conclusion that these two humans are going to die because SpaceX rarely gets something right the first time.

That’s just how a lot of engineering goes. Nothing goes right the first time, and there’s a bunch of tweaks and modifications that have to happen before the system works out.

Hopefully everything goes well, and the two astronauts make it safely to the station.

I sold a booster pack this morning for $19.99.

If I can sell all the booster packs I have for at least this amount, I’ll triple my investment! It’s not going to happen that way though. Some of the booster packs I have priced at $12 and I might have to price them even lower for them to sell.

It all depends on the series that the cards belong to. OreImo has quite a cult following, and the cards are pretty rare as of 2020, so $19.99 for a booster pack is actually a good price.

I have a bunch of Katanagatari booster packs which probably won’t sell unless I really lower the price. I don’t think that series is popular at all, so the selling price is going to be low.

Went for my morning walk. Went to some dark places during the walk, thinking of some really terrible situations that I never want to be in.

I had low blood sugar for sure, which I think is what led me to those thoughts. I’m back inside now and I put some rice on. I also ate a bunch of dried fruit, several nuts, and downed a bottle of Naked juice.

I was really hungry! That rice is probably going to go straight into the fridge, because I’m satiated for the moment and the rice won’t be done for 20+ minutes.

That’s a bad habit of mine. I put food on the stove, then immediately eat snack food. No food goes to waste, but I lose the opportunity to have fresh food straight from the cooker.

I can deal with that bad habit. It’s not that bad.

Watching Tim Dodd’s stream this morning. Apparently he’s 3 miles from the launch site from where Dragon will be launching. I can only imagine what kind of setup he has. He’s probably explained it earlier in his stream, but I’m just tuning in about an hour in to the program.

I think Tim said he’s got someone in a studio who is handling a good chunk of the video. It makes a lot of sense to do that. Tim is on a mobile broadband connection which has the potential to go out, so a stable connection from a studio would be the best place to stream from.

I tools like the astronauts just said hi to their families. They are in quarantine so they can’t make contact, but they were doing 6 foot hug gestures.

Now they’re loading in the Tesla Model X and their families came up and put their hands up against the windows.

The motorcade has begun! They’ve got a fucking MRAP with a gun turrent escorting the convoy!

Now the astronauts are travelling to the launch pad. Tim was pretty pleased with this chase shot from SpaceX & NASA and I have to agree, it’s pretty cool!

Oh this is exciting.

They are getting closer to the pad!

Sounds like there might be a scrub due to thunderstorms.

Dat storm

If this mission is not a scrub, I’ll be so incredibly surprised. I don’t think I’ve seen a storm rolling in like this before a launch. I think it’s going to be a scrub.

launch prep

Apparently there’s a tornado warning. Tim took a break to make a phonecall to see if he has to seek shelter.

I think this is going to be a scrub, but still waiting to hear. The flight crew still seems to be plugging away at their checklists, preparing for the launch. For them, they seem completely focused. Even if there is a scrub, I’m sure there’s a checklist for that.

It’s so cool to see this spacecraft. I’m sure just hundreds of thousands of hours have gone into designing and producing the interfaces and everything. Just look at those ruggedized touch screens and the long handles along the bottom. Someone sat in that chair and must have realized, “hey, it’s kind of uncomfortable to hold my arm up like this.We should put a handle here!”

Now the stream has switched to a couple guys who I’ve never seen before. They seen very knowledgeable about space flight. I suppose there is a good deal of time before the GO/NOGO decision at T-45.

Well I don’t know if I’m going to keep watching the stream with these two guys. I might just switch to journalling mode.

But this is too much of a big event to not watch!!!

Ok then, I’ll just continue live journalling.

Tim Dodd’s stream has had like 5 technical glitches today. Everything is working just fine, and then the audio will cut out. Someone is behind the scenes changing things.

  • There was an echo introduced to Tim’s audio.
  • Tim lost his cell camera feed when he walked out of wifi range
  • The volume level got quiet, then it got loud, then it got quiet

Grr. I’m out. Tim’s stream sucks today. SpaceX/NASA stream is better in terms of overall production quality, but it’s just full of cringe content like Jim Bridenstine, compliation videos from fans on social media, and an American reporter trying to speak Japanese to a Japanese astronaut.

Tim’s streams often have issues like this. I’m pretty sure that I blogged about the last one where similar issues occurred. Someday he’ll get it right.

Insects are invading my apartment. I’m starting to see flies and spiders on a regular basis. I don’t think I have a good seal on the window with the A/C. There’s also a gap at the top of my door which allows all sorts of creatures to sneak in.

Hopefully there will be a day when I can afford an apartment in town. I’ll have access to a full size dumpster and never have to worry about making dump runs. I’ll have access to high speed internet and I won’t have to worry about ping or paying for virtual private servers. I’ll have a landlord that’s obligated to keep things like door seals in good condition. I’ll have central air and I won’t have to worry about bugs sneaking in through the gaps in the windows.

The astronauts are just chillin’ in their seats. They’ve been there for over an hour at this point, and they still have 54 minutes to go.

If I were them, I would have pissed my pants by now. I’m sure they’re probably wearing diapers, but that must be so uncomfortable.

I’ve heard stories from astronauts on peeing and pooping in their suits. Basically nobody poops unless it’s absolutely necessary because of the mess it makes and the smell that just gets trapped in the suit.

Peeing isn’t as much of a deal, but something that they try to avoid.

If I were them, I’d probably not eat breakfast at all. I’d probably drink nothing either. Maybe enough to keep myself from being dehydrated, but definitely no amount that would require peeing. I’d want to be right on the borderline of being dehydrated so I wouldn’t have to deal with peeing in my suit.

It’s a 4 hour flight to the station. That’s 4 hours on top of the several that the astronauts have to go through in preparation for the launch.

Apparently the weather is red at this point, but it might clear up in time for the launch window. I just heard that propellant has been cleared to load. The arm is being retracted!

“Everything but the weather is go but the weather is trending in the right direction, so we’ve got our fingers crossed here.”

John Insprucker

Launch escape system is being armed.

Look at that social distancing interview! It’s so fucking stupid!

People are retarded!

COVID-19 wasn’t what we thought it was. End the madness that is social distancing!


I’m angry.

Very angry.

I want to punch things.

SpaceX crew mission has been scrubbed due to weather. Next launch window 3:22 EDT this Saturday.

Ok now I can close out the live stream and actually focus!

I took a nap. I think I was feeling so in part angry because yesterday was such an excellent day. My whole body was sore today because of the amount of yoga and stretches and strength training I did.

Yesterday I religiously stopped my computer every 25 minutes to take a 5 minute break. I would do neck stretches or yoga or back exercises.

This morning while I walked, I was feeling pretty drained. I sat down a couple times just to rest.

Yesterday was a great day. I spent about 5 hours sorting and listing cards on eBay. I promptly journalled in the morning, studied Japanese, and had a nice work session.

I played a couple solo games of Squad between 7:30 and 9:30. I wasn’t feelin’ it. I was worn out after a good day of positive energy, exercise, and work.

I was pretty angry just before I went to sleep due to how the Squad session went. I did some things I felt guilty about. The first was verbally attacking a player who had taken the position of troll. He was complaining non-stop in the text chat on the first match. During the second match, I found him and ran up to him saying, “there’s the weeb!”

I said that because he chatted something during the previous game. “This match sucks and this is coming from a weeb.”

His message made no sense, but I used his negative self talk against himself in the next match. I was just in a mood where I might have been pleased to start an argument, but he said nothing in return. His in-game avatar just stopped moving with the rest of his Squad. It was like what I said to him made him go AFK.

Maybe as a troll he knows exactly how to win a heated argument– Simply don’t participate.

Was I trying to troll the troll? I guess so. I was trying to get a reaction from him. Maybe put him down for being a whiny bitch in the chat the match before. It’s so annoying to have to read those chat messages that pop up in the corner of my screen. It’s not just me, it’s everybody in the game who has to hear them. He was whining non-stop, telling the team what to do, and he’s not even a Squad leader. Major pet peeve for me. He wasn’t doing anything to help, he was only expressing blame.

Overall, I had to recognize the success of simply shutting down my computer and going to bed. I had only two matches under my belt for the day, which is one less than I give myself permission to play in a day. I did good by shutting down the computer and going to bed, when the easy thing to do would be to continue playing late into the night.

The guilt of verbally attacking another player wasn’t the only guilt I felt. I felt guilty for not communicating well enough. There was a bad situation where we were dismounting from an MRAP, and getting shot by the enemy. Two teammates went down and our SAW gunner started reviving people. I’m the medic, not him! I revive people in half the time, and our SAW gunner is doing my job.

Nobody was talking. I wasn’t correcting their behavior by telling them to do their role. I said nothing and I ran to a fallen comrade. The SAW gunner did the same thing as I. As we both attempted to simultaneously grab our fallen comrade, we both got shot by the enemy.

We failed because we did not communicate. I failed as a medic and a Squadmate by not communicating what I was doing. I failed as a Squad mate by knowing exactly what kind of situation we were in, and not reacting in kind. I knew that the tactical thing to be doing in that situation is to send rounds down range, and suppress the enemy while I, the medic, revive the fallen teammates.

I knew what to do, but I was staying quiet. My silence, one of my black horseman of relationships, ended with every one in our Squad getting incapacitated.

The last thing I feel guilty about is rolling with a Squad leader who went AFK and was mostly silent. In those situations, I think it’s best if I switch to a different Squad, or make my own.

An active Squad leader is imperative. A squad is not effective without a leader constantly giving them orders.

I felt guilty for all those three things, and felt pretty bad about each.\

Luckily, sleep is one of nature’s wonderful reset buttons.


I can identify and overcome obstacles to improvement by:

Well, I think I just identified a difficult person. That person was some kid who was whining in the chat about the progress of our team’s mission.

I immediately jumped to judging that person. I didn’t even think of this worksheet. I suppose I have to think of this worksheet in the future, when I’m feeling annoyed by such a character.

If I can create a new mental trigger for being annoyed which gets mapped to the solutions on this page, that’s a good start.

64. Today I will be courageous.
65. I release all fear from my mind.
66. I can reach my goals. I am unstoppable.

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