Wed Nov 11 2020

Today I’m feeling like shouting from the rooftops how stupid the response to covid-19 had become.

We’ve been destroying the economy for 6 months now. The fear is not subsiding, despite how obviously weak the virus is. People are just adopting the lockdowns and mask wearing as a way of life.

Are the “non-essential” workers just supposed to adopt a lifestyle of being broke? It’s absolute madness.

Take vitamin D every fucking day along with a multivitamin, get some exercise, get plenty of rest, take care of yourself, and you’ll be fucking fine.

The numbers are bullshit.

“Oh there was a spike in <insert_geographical_location_here>”

“I hope people are wearing masks. Covid-19 is so real.”

Bullshit. Hearsay. Fear-based, emotional exploitative news reporting. Neo-liberalism propaganda. This news is not worth sharing, but it’s being spread like a virus because the articles trigger a fear or outrage response, which human brains feed on.

The fear is out of control. The populace has buckled under the weight of this fear. Terrorists and Tyrants take note– the fear of y is America’s greatest vulnerability.

Fear of y, not y itself.

It’s nothing new. The fear of WMDs was enough to wage a dishonest war. The fear of terrorist attacks was enough to void the 4th ammendment. and ARTICLE I, SECTION 8, CLAUSE 11 which requires congressional approval before going to war.

This trend isn’t going to change, either. Fear overrides logic, and there are more people who act emotionally than there are people who act rationally.

I was thinking about political apathy while I took a shower this morning. I am not politically apathetic, I’m apposed to politics. I’m apposed to rulers but I am for rules. I’m apposed to democracy and “majority rules.” Majority Rules creates minorities, by design. It’s too easy to criminalize being a minority, which is just wrong.

I think a society should have a stronger foundation than law built on opinion or religious tradition.

I’m not liking where this article is going. I’m on a tangent that I don’t want to be on.

I’m spouting out ideals and shit and it doesn’t even matter. This isn’t my battle. I’m not staying and fighting this shit. I’m more inclined to physically leave and go somewhere that I can do what I do without feeling like I’m a latent criminal.

Dissent is becoming criminal, and I think that’s an attribute of an empire in decline. “Wrong speak” is a real thing that everybody in my circles seems to be afraid of. There are these lines that cannot be crossed. Those lines are becoming

  • Saying shit that other people might deem, “offensive”
  • Saying shit that goes against government policy

Well luckily for us, everybody doesn’t play by the rules. There are people who are apologetically open about speaking their mind, regardless of how faux pas it might be.

I see that a lot with comedians. Bless them and I hope comedy continues to be a community which promotes and inspires free thinking.

Religion can be a big problem. There is again, “wrong speak” and the list of wrong behaviors which are demonized. Government is quickly becoming a religion. I have seen other people replacing a supreme god in the sky with a supreme god of the state. The Statist god’s role is similar to a Christian god– Provide, Protect, Punish.

There’s also the authority aspect. I remember hearing in church how Latter Day Saint prophets derive their authority from god. God passed authority to Adam, who passed it down to someone else, who passed it to someone else, and that authority ended up with the current day prophet.

Ok let’s switch it up.

Impressionable me is probably just now receiving the bullshit messages from the recent election. It’s exactly 7 days since the election. I did my best to completely ignore it, but the meme of big government is really difficult to ignore. My friends can’t seem to help but make comments about it. Even my Canadian friend had to put in his two cents.

It’s bonkers. Trusting in government or even giving them attention means exercising an external locus of control. It’s like saying, “My influence is too small. That’s government’s job.”

"That's god's job." == "That's government's job" // => true

I don’t actually think that government and god are equal. I’m just trying to make fun of people who do think that way.

Well that’s not very nice of me.

Well get over it, ya’ putz!

Well that’s not nice either.

Well this is my fucking journal, ya’ dickshire!

I might have just coined, “dickshire.” Let’s define it.

Dickshire: adj.
A nearly hidden place in the distant fringes of the crotch lands where dicks and dickettes are raised by a phallic colony of sub-terrainian wieners.

“Wow, Gene sure is a cock. Every time I talk to him, he has nothing but mean things to say.”

“Yeah. I heard he was raised in the Dickshire.”

I submitted that definition to Urban Dictionary lol. Let’s see if it gets rejected! (I have never had a successful submission to UD and I’m kinda salty about it.)

Y’know, now that I think about it, I’m feeling a bit salty about everything today. I think the tone of this post should be a good indication of that LOL.

I stayed up too late last night. I was feeling ready to go to bed at 9PM, but then I got a text from M. wondering if I wanted to play games tonight. It took him 30 mins to get home, after which we played Endless Space 2. I don’t regret it one bit, because we had a great conversation about space and mars and Extraterrestrials and SpaceX.

I’d just like to not stay up till midnight lol. 11PM is the latest I want to stay up, because going to sleep at 11 would give me 8 hours of sleep and that’s a good number for me.

We’re going to play again tonight. I’ll be better about setting time boundaries tonight.

I went to Tuesday CoDA WA145 last night. I was late because I didn’t have the Zoom password. Luckily I found the password in an old text. I saved it on my computer so I won’t have that problem again. I shared a bit! Just a bit. I mentioned that it was hard for me to share in groups, and that I was shaking. I was really fighting back the tears because of how overwhelmed I felt.

“gunsacking” was a term used to describe how codependent people can hold onto their emotions and not process them. The act of holding those emotions rather than sharing them can be very physically exhausting.

I feel that feeling often when I’m in a group, and I put so much effort into my appearance. I don’t mean clothing or haircut, I mean my posture and my facial expressions. I want people to know that I am listening, and that their words are having an effect on me.

That’s bullshit though. It’s dishonest to fake the facial expressions and give the other person an indication that their words are reaching me in a positive way. It’s straight up lying, and it can often have the effect of the person continuing a train of thought that I am actually disgusted by.

That’s just an example. Anyway, I’m wrapping this up for now. I seek to be my authentic self, and please only myself. I seek to have relationships with people who are my equals. I seek the freedom to be myself and friends who love my authentic self.

100. I can change my life.
101. I will learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.

I just had an idea. I’ve worked through this 101 positive things to say to myself list 4 times now, so I think I will make my own list of 101 things. 1 per day.

  1. I’m a kickass motherfucker

When I finish this list, I would like to publish it! I’ll name it something like, “101 affirmations for badasses” or something like that xD

I’m grateful for and the potential it has to both monetize my skills and make friends.

I’m grateful for beanie hats. I have lots and I wear them every day to feel warm and comfortable.

I’m grateful for the color green. I’m grateful that I can see many colors on the spectrum, including green, my favorite! Green reminds me of fertility, freshness, healthy natural environments, friendliness, and love.



Q: How many IBM CPU’s does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.

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